It's no mystery to anyone who sees my occasional posts that if I am a "hater" of anything, it is of bad officiating. So after watching the hideousness that was the Boston-Miami Game 1 officiating, I went out to my backyard basketball court to shoot baskets with my son and think a bit.
I like to direct my efforts to taking negative things and trying to make something positive and entertaining out of them. Something potentially wonderful came to me, and I couldn't help but laugh about the idea. My son asked what I was laughing about, I said "nothing," but it think it could indeed be something. It's up to you, Basketbawful readers, to tell me if it's worth my time and yours.
First, let me note that officiating aside, the Heat were taking Game 1. The C's were rusty and D Wade was unconscious.
BUT
On the heels of a Boston-Miami Game 1 that saw:
- Jermaine O'Neal receive a flagrant foul for having the nerve to let James Jones run into, and bounce off of, him
- Paul Pierce getting ejected for letting Dwayne Wade give him a forearm shiver
It was clearly time to take the power away from David Stern and the officials and give it back to us. I propose to you: The ACTUAL SCORE NBA Champion.
Let's use Boston-Miami Game 1 final score (99-90 in favor of Miami) as an example. Let's assume the Jermaine O'Neal flagrant foul call was garbage, and as a result, the Heat hit two free throws and received the ball and scored again. The Celtics' score would go to a +4, and the ACTUAL final score would be 99-94. If you factor in the Pierce call and ejection, depending on the several factors involved in the subsequent scoring / let down that followed, this could be a +3, and the Celtics lose 99-97. Is this scientific? Absolutely not. Could it be a down right fun way to skewer bad NBA officiating? You betcha.
I don't think I'll try to do this for any playoff rounds before the Finals, because I can't declare champions those teams that are unfairly cast out of the earlier rounds. However, if the team that loses the NBA Finals actually wins based on these putrid-officiating-adjustments, they are the NBA ACTUAL SCORE Champion.
It almost benefits me more if the Celtics aren't in the Finals, so I can't be accused of homerism. But I do consider myself fairly even-handed when it comes to judging crappy officiating. If I DO have a bias, it leans toward assuming officials suck.
Now this is all well and good, but inconsequential without something magnificent to go along with it, so depending on the outcome of the NBA and NBA ACTUAL SCORE Finals, I may:
- Visit the administrative offices / team representative of the NBA ACTUAL SCORE Champion to present a hand-made ACTUAL SCORE Trophy (Unless it's Atlanta - I'm not going to that dump of a city. Maybe I'd just make a phone call). Videos and pictures of the ceremony would, of course, go without saying.
- Present the Tim Donaghy award to the worst official of the finals (Joey Crawford would probably get a lifetime achievement award). This video would probably end up being more like a 60 Minutes segment, where I'm chasing the official, who's trying to keep his face concealed, across a parking lot.
Anyway, I'm still refining this idea, but it's up to all of you now. For me, anything that calls attention to the state of NBA officiating is worth it. And some day, who knows, the ACTUAL SCORE championship may be more valued by the winner than the Larry O'Brien Trophy. Dare to dream.
So, if you want a Finals ACTUAL SCORE champ and whatever fanfare I can conjure to come with it, submit a comment. A simple "YES DO IT" will suffice, if you like. But I want real numbers, people. If I'm gonna follow through on tormenting the administrative staffs of NBA teams, triple digits ain't gonna cut it. Quadrupes, beyotches. You heard me...if quadruple-digit number of folks read this blog, I want quadruple digit support.
And if you have any further ideas on what the rules of the "Actual Score" Finals should be, feel free to add your two cents. Or a cent. One penny is fine.
BASKETBALL FANS OF THE WORLD UNITE!
-ET
