Kelesetan: Michael Jordan

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"They plump when you cook 'em!"

I don't know about you, but it felt like a good day to post videos of Michael Jordan repeatedly jamming wieners into his mouth.

"They plump when you cook 'em!" Tell me that's not a double-entendre...

Note: Have you ever read the textbook definition of "wiener"? Here it is: "A smoked sausage of beef or beef and pork, etc., enclosed in a membranous casing and made in cylindrical links a few inches long." Gak. Yet another reason to never eat a hot dog again.

Creating a Legend

So... how many more months until NBA 2K11 comes out?
Ever wonder how Jordan would fare in today's NBA? With the hand-checking rules on defense changed so that you are no longer allowed to do everything just short of clubbing your opponent upside the head with an aluminum bat, people have long speculated that Jordan could average 40 or even 50 points per game if he was able to play in today's game during hs prime. Well, here is your chance to find out.

For all the fun I've had playing NBA 2K10, I've always wanted to see more than just a handful of old-school players available, and of course we all have heard by now that 2K Sports is delivering just what we want. NBA 2K11 will feature Michael Jordan with old-school teams, old-school players, and even recreating 10 specific games from Jordan's career. However, this article informs us that 2K Sports is taking a step further. After beating all 10 of NBA 2K11's Jordan challenges, you will have the opportunity to play an offline-only, single player game mode called Creating a Legend.

In this game mode that operate in similar fashion the My Player mode that made last year's game so amazing, you are able to draft a raw rookie version of Michael Jordan onto any current NBA team:

"The idea behind MJ: Creating a Legend is that you're going to step into today's NBA with a rookie Michael Jordan," Boenisch says. "He is rated a 79 overall, which gives you plenty of room to improve, but he has all of the physical tools of Michael as a rookie -- the fast speed, the high jumping, the quickness -- but he lacks a lot of the shooting skills and the offensive and defensive awareness. So you're playing with a raw prospect who can do just about anything, but can't deliver in the clutch just yet.

"And the cool thing about this mode is that you're player-locked to Michael Jordan, so you're kind of recreating the career and the legend of Michael Jordan."

Young Michael Jordan? Getting pissed off at inept teammates and punching them during practice? Making ridiculous buckets look stupidly easy? Getting books written about being such a demanding, overcompetitive asshole? Sign me up!

Also exciting is the news that Jordan's physical appearance will transform as he ages in the game. Adds Boenisch: "When you start out as a rookie, you're going to start out with the short fade, the short little hair. Then as he gets older you're going to see him go with the bald look, then the mustache in the middle years, and his body will bulk up a little bit as he slowly becomes the older Jordan. For fans of Jordan, it's really cool to see the progression and play as Michael and see what it is like to relive that skill that he had to takeover any game."

The game will let you play all the way up from Jordan's rookie year until age 40. I guess this means you won't get to wear Hanes t-shirts under your jersey with a weird little Hitler mustache. Also, you don't get to spend a year and a half playing MLB 2k11 ~~because David Stern suspended you for gambling~~ because you are bored of dominating basketball and want to take a baseball sabbatical. Then again, maybe that's not a bad thing. You also are spared the pain of being majority owner of a fairly crappy expansion franchise -- but, hey, if you want to draft Jordan onto the Bobcats so that he can play for them, be my guest. Just don't come crying to me when Virtual Jordan tells you to get bent and demands a trade after playing with teammates like Erick Dampier and Nazr Mohammed. And if you draft Jordan onto the Washington Wizards, you are a sick bastard.

(And Lord knows what happens if you try to draft him with the poor New Jersey Nets...)

And no, there's no truth to the rumor that the game comes packaged with playing cards, a cigar, and a golf ball. Sorry. We can only hope they include a hidden mini-game where you get to play $10,000-a-hand blackjack in Vegas with Antoine Walker until 'Toine goes broke and goes to the buffet to eat away his sorrows.

Michael Jordan jumps on top of the LeBron dogpile

About two seconds after LeBron James made "The Decision" to pull a Hollywood Hogan on the city of Cleveland so he could team up with the Super Friends of South Beach -- hereafter referred to as "The Nazgul" -- the Internet almost crashed under the electronic weight of newspaper articles and blog posts proclaiming that: Michael Jordan never would have wimped out like that...he wanted to beat his opponents not join them.

Because of course nothing LeBron has ever done or apparently will ever do -- no 50-point performance, no triple-double, no buzzer beater, no playoff performance, and now no contract decision -- is complete until the Michael Jordan comparisons are made. It's like the huge glop of cheese on top of an order of cheese fries. If LeBron's tree falls in the woods, nobody will hear it unless it gets compared to how loud Jordan's tree was when it fell.

Anyway, all that "MJ wouldn't have done that" stuff was all idle speculation until now. The GOAT has spoken:

"There's no way, with hindsight, I would've ever called up Larry, called up Magic and said 'Hey, look, let's get together and play on one team. But...things are different. I can't say that's a bad thing. It's an opportunity these kids have today. In all honesty, I was trying to beat those guys."

So Jordan has officially confirmed what we were all already thinking. Thanks for that, MJ. Personally, I was tired of all that thinking. My brain is more paper weight than functioning organ. Mind you, this latest pronouncement comes on the heels of His Airness stating that (in his opinion) Kobe is better than LeBron.

So...how does it feel under that dogpile, LeBron? Do you have enough, ahem, air in there?

The funny thing is, this isn't the first time MJ has fired a few warning shots across LeBron's bow. This has been forgotten in the annals of NBA lore, but check out Jordan's comments about the soon-to-be-a-rookie version of King James:

"He may think he's great enough to be on this level now. But when he gets on this level and plays against guys who've been competitive and very good on this level, he's going to find it's a big difference from that 5-10 high school kid.

...

"I think he's talented for 18 years old. Once he gets to this level, I don't think he's in the upper echelon of two guards or small forwards. I think he's toward the bottom -- respectively so, because there's so much about his game that he's going to have to adapt to. He has unbelievable potential. I think that's what everybody is looking at, everybody is raving about. But he hasn't played against competition consistently, college or pros. He's played against high school kids ... You have to give that some credence.

"When you look at the skill level and his maturity at his age, he's definitely talented enough. Five years from now? If he takes on the dedication of being the best basketball player he can be, and continues to improve and accept challenges and not get comfortable with what's been given to him or what the expectations may be, he could definitely be a good pro."

Well, I guess MJ was right...LeBron is definately a good pro.

There was also this exchange between MJ and Charles Barkley:

With cigar in hand and sarcasm dripping from his words, Michael Jordan posed a question for Charles Barkley.

"Charles, what would you have done if Pip (Scottie Pippen) and I called you up and asked you to come join us in Chicago?" Jordan asked.

A look of disgust flashed on Barkley's face. Not in a million years, he scoffed, and his colorful language made Jordan smile with pleasure.

It was nothing more than a humorous exchange between close friends on the driving range of the American Century Championship. Yet it spoke volumes of how the NBA's old guard views LeBron James and his ignoble departure to Miami.

"Let me just tell you this," Barkley said. "Mike and I are in 100 percent agreement on this. If you're the two-time defending NBA MVP, you don't leave anywhere. They come to you. That's ridiculous.

"I like LeBron. He's a great player. But I don't think in the history of sports you can find a two-time defending MVP leaving to go play with other people."

Speaking of Sir Charles, The Round Mound had this to say to 790 the Ticket in Miami last week:

"He'll never be Jordan. This clearly takes him out of the conversation. He can win as much as he wants to.

"There would have been something honorable about staying in Cleveland and trying to win it as 'The Man' ... LeBron, if he would've in Cleveland, and if he could've got a championship there, it would have been over the top for his legacy, just one in Cleveland. No matter how many he wins in Miami, it clearly is Dwyane Wade's team."

Just like with MJ, Chuck is simply saying what we were all already thinking. But here's the thing: Maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe, in part, this was LeBron's way of saying, "I know I'm not Michael Jordan. And I don't want to try to be Michael Jordan."

Personally, I think LeBron wants to be "Mega Pippen." Back in the day, Scottie Pippen wanted to be considered equal to Michael Jordan without shouldering the responsibility of being Michael Jordan. I mean, he tried (when he wasn't getting a migraine or refusing to check into the game because the game-winning play was written up for somebody else), but Pippen simply wasn't that kind of player. And, frankly, he wasn't Jordan's equal.

However, LeBron is at least D-Wade's equal. And yet now he has a teammate who has killer instinct and championship pedigree. Now, King Crab can do his "a little bit to a lot of everything" act -- ala Pippen -- and potentially turn to Wade when things get ugly. And, as Barkley said, it's always going to be Dwyane's team, so the greatest burden of responsibility will always been on Wade.

At any rate, it all comes back to the same thing, and I've said it over and over on this site: All comparisons between LeBron and MJ should stop immediately (if they haven't already). If not because they were ridiculous to begin wtih, then because LeBron himself made has made "The Decision" not to be like Mike.

Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan Pictures

Michael Jordan The Greatest Basketball Player

Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all time. His leaping ability, illustrated by performing slam dunks from the free throw line at Slam Dunk Contests, earned him the nicknames "Air Jordan" and "His Airness." He also gained a reputation as one of the best defensive players in basketball.

Michael Jordan the legend

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Michael Jordan was born on February 17, 1963, in Brooklyn, New York, one of James and Deloris Jordan's five children. The family moved to Wilmington, North Carolina, when Michael was very young. His father worked as a General Electric plant supervisor, and his mother worked at a bank. His father taught him to work hard and not to be tempted by street life. His mother taught him to sew, clean, and do laundry. Jordan loved sports but failed to make his high school basketball team as a sophomore. He continued to practice and made the team the next year. After high school he accepted a basketball scholarship to the University of North Carolina, where he played under head coach Dean Smith
Read more: Michael Jordan Biography - life, family, children, story, death, history, wife, school, mother, young, old, information, born, college, movie, contract, house, time, year http://www.notablebiographies.com/Jo-Ki/Jordan-Michael.html#ixzz0Yz9DZCGf
Greene, Bob. Hang Time. New York: Doubleday, 1992.
Gutman, Bill. Michael Jordan: A Biography. New York: Pocket Books, 1991.
Halberstam, David. Playing for Keeps: Michael Jordan and the World He Made. New York: Random House, 1999.
Jordan, Michael. For the Love of the Game: My Story. New York: Crown Publishers, 1998.
Naughton, Jim. Taking to the Air: The Rise of Michael Jordan. New York: Warner Books, 1992.
Smith, Sam. The Jordan Rules. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1992
Read more: Michael Jordan Biography - life, family, children, story, death, history, wife, school, mother, young, old, information, born, college, movie, contract, house, time, year http://www.notablebiographies.com/Jo-Ki/Jordan-Michael.html#ixzz0Yz9Nq38S

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Michael Jordan The Legend

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Michael Jordan Photo
Michael Jordan The Legend

Michael Jordan Best NBA Player Pictures

Michael Jeffrey Jordan (born February 17, 1963) is a retired American professional basketball player and active businessman. His biography on the National Basketball Association (NBA) website states, "By acclamation, Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all time. [wikipedia]

Michael Jordan NBA best player ever!

Jordan's individual accolades and accomplishments include five MVP awards, ten All-NBA First Team designations, nine All-Defensive First Team honors, fourteen NBA All-Star Game appearances and three All-Star MVP, ten scoring titles, three steals titles, six NBA Finals MVP awards, and the 1988 NBA Defensive Player of the Year Award.

Michael Jordan dunk

He holds the NBA record for highest career regular season scoring average with 30.12 points per game, as well as averaging a record 33.4 points per game in the playoffs.

Michael Jordan game winning wallpaper

Michael Jordan for Chicago Bulls Picture

In 1999, he was named the greatest North American athlete of the 20th century by ESPN, and was second to Babe Ruth on the Associated Press's list of athletes of the century. He will be eligible for induction into the Basketball Hall of Fame in 2009.

EX-CHICAGO ATHLETE OF THE WEEK: Michael Jordan

I have to admit, when I caught wind on Thursday that former Bulls guard Michael Jordan was elected to the Basketball Hall of Fame, with the inductions tonight, I was stunned. I mean, really, what did Jordan ever do to achieve this honor? Sure, he was a solid, dependable starter in the league for a few years, but when it comes down to Hall of Fame consideration, I figured the folks in Springfield, MA were a little more discerning when coming up with new inductees. Anybody that doesn't think this is an abomination is living in a dream land. Just look back to 1986. I mean, he started only seven games that season. 1995? How about 17 starts? He didn't even bother to play A SINGLE GAME in 1994, 1998, 1999, 2000 or 2001. How does that lead you to the Hall of Fame? They must really be hurting for people to enshrine at this point. Maybe they should just take a few years off from inducting new people and put in new carpeting or something. This is a waste of everybody's time. What a joke. Just for laughs, let's take a look at the numbers for this clown:

6 NBA championships
6 NBA Finals MVP awards
13 All-Star Game nods
1981 McDonald's All-American
1984 College Player of the Year
1982 NCAA championship
1984 and 1992 Olympic Gold Medals
1988 NBA Defensive Player of the Year
1985 NBA Rookie of the Year
5 NBA MVP awards
3 NBA All-Star Game MVP awards
10-time NBA All-First team awards
9-time NBA All-First team defensive awards
2 NCAA First-team All-American awards
10-time NBA scoring champion
32,292 career NBA points (30.1 career scoring average)
33.4 points per game in 179 career playoff games

OK, I guess he earned it. Thanks for the memories, MJ. You made not only the fans of the Bulls proud, you make the entire city of Chicago and the surrounding areas proud. When people traveled across the USA or the world, and they mentioned they were from Chicago, the first thing people used to say was "Al Capone." Until you played. From then on, when you proudly say you're from Chicago, the only name that comes up to this day is "Michael Jordan." And that is the way it will be for a long time to come. Congrats, No. 23! I feel honored to have been a sports fan in this city for your entire career. It will never be the same again.

Michael Jordan American professional basketball player

Michael Jordan NBA Star

Michael Jordan in action

He holds the NBA record for highest career regular season scoring average with 30.12 points per game, as well as averaging a record 33.4 points per game in the playoffs.

Michael Jordan wallpaper

Michael Jordan for Chicago Bulls

Michael Jordan best Images and Biography

The son of James and Deloris Jordan, Michael Jeffrey Jordan was born on February 17, 1963, in Brooklyn, New York.
His father was a mechanic at the General Electric plant and his mother worked with a bank. Michael was very young when his family shifted to Wilmington, North Carolina. His parents were blessed with four other children named, Larry Jordan and James R. Jordan, Jr., Deloris and Roslyn.

Even as a youngster, Michael showed streaks of a sportsman. Initially, his inclination was towards baseball. But soon, he developed a keen interest in basketball, following his older brother Larry’s footsteps. As a sophomore, at Laney High School, his attempt to get into the varsity team failed because he was raw and undersized. The following summer, he grew four inches and practiced tirelessly. The hard work paid off in shape of Jordan being selected to the McDonald's All-American Team as a senior.

After high school, he accepted a basketball scholarship to the University of North Carolina. At this level, he received training by the legendary coach Dean Smith. He made himself visible in the very first year by making it to the title of the ACC Freshman of the Year. It was his fifteen foot winning jump short that made his teammates nickname him as ‘Superman’. Jordan left North Carolina after his junior year and was selected by the Chicago Bulls of the National Basketball Association (NBA) as the third pick of the 1984 draft. The Chicago Bulls were then a losing team but Jordan’s caliber quickly turned scores around. He had a unique style of play and fierce spirit of competition. Jordan's incredible leaping ability and hang time thrilled fans in arenas around the league. In his first season itself, he was honored as the league's Rookie of the Year.

Thanks to a broken foot, Jordan was sidelined for 64 games during the 1985–86 season. But not the won to lose heart, he made the 1986–87 season one of individual successes. He became the first player since Wilt Chamberlain to score 3,000 points in a single season. Jordan enjoyed personal success, but Chicago did not advance beyond the first round of the playoffs until 1988. Jordan concentrated on improving his other basketball skills and in the future years won five regular season MVP awards, six NBA championships, six NBA finals MVP awards, three All-Star game MVP awards and a defensive player of the year award. In 1993 summer Jordan's father, James, was murdered by two men during a robbery attempt. A grief stricken, Jordan announced his retirement from professional basketball. For one year, Jordan relit his childhood love for baseball with Chicago White Sox. However, this seventeen-month experiment showed that he was not a major league baseball player. In 1995 the media reported his comeback. He rejoined the Bulls and led them to three additional championships (1996, 1997 AND 1998) as well as an NBA-record 72 regular-season wins in the 1995-96 season. Jordan retired for a second time in 1999 but he returned for two more NBA seasons in 2001 as a member of the Washington Wizards. Eventually, he retired for good following the 2002-03 season.

During his basketball days, Jordan was also in the limelight for a paternity suit filed against him by Karla Knafel and a turbulent marriage with Juanita Vanoy, the mother of his three children. The marriage finally ended in a divorce in 2006.

Jordan is also noted for his product endorsements, Nike’s Air Jordan being a success story in itself. In 1996, he also starred in the film ‘Space Jam’. He is currently a part-owner and Managing Member of Basketball Operations of the Charlotte Bobcats in North Carolina.