Repost: The Worst of Celtics-Lakers Part 9

This is Part 9 of our The Worst of Celtics-Lakers series. This should have been the greatest championship series of the 1980s -- maybe ever -- but instead it turned into the most lopsided Larry-Magic Finals. For various reasons, which I will bitterly complain about below.

1987 NBA Finals

Expectations: The 1985-86 Celtics were really freaking good. They won 67 games and would have won 70 for sure if Larry Bird hadn't played the first 30 or so games with a debilitating back injury. They stormed through the regular season and the playoffs in such overwhelming fashion that many people thought they would become the first repeat champions since the 1968-69 Celtics. Which led to this (probably) unintentionally hilarious music video (hat tip to Ball Don't Lie and The Commission) called "First Time Since '69" (and no, it's not a porn video...no Rick Rolling here).


Len Bias: After the Celtics won the championship in 1984, Red Auerbach shipped Gerald Henderson to Seattle for the Sonics' first-round draft pick in 1986 (and thus the drafted player would be available for the 1986-87 season). This move backfired somewhat in 1985, when Boston's bench failed them in the Finals. But when the Sonics got the second overall pick in the '86 draft, it appeared to be another Auerbachian master stroke. Boston gleefully selected Len Bias -- Brad Daugherty was selected first by the Cleveland Cavaliers -- and it looked like the Green Reign would last for the rest of the decade. After all, the Celtics had just won the NBA championship with one of the best teams of all time, and now they were adding a player who was drawing favorable comparisons to Michael Jordan (although, in retrospect, he was more like an early Vince Carter prototype, only with balls). Said Bird: "He would have been one of the greatest ever. I thought we had won another championship on draft day."

But joy and celebration were soon replaced by shock and grief. On June 19 -- 1986, less than 48 hours after the Celtics had drafted him -- Bias died of a cocaine overdose. It was a crippling blow from which the Celtics never really recovered (until this season, I suppose). For the sake of perspective, here are some of the players that Boston passed over for Bias: Ron Harber, John Salley, Mark Price, Dennis Rodman, Jeff Hornacek, Drazen Petrovic and Kevin Duckworth (sorry, couldn't help myself).

Bill Walton's foot: One of the primary reasons that the 1985-86 Celtics were so great was the presence of Bill Walton, who that season was the NBA's Sixth Man of the Year and the best backup center (to Robert Parish) of all time. Walton's entire career had been dogged by injury, but he appeared in a career-high 80 games during that one miracle season in Boston (his previous best was 67). Boston looked like a mortal lock to repeat for the first time since 1969...as long as Walton could remain healthy. But, of course, he could not.

A week before training camp, Walton and Robert Parish met at the Celtics training facility at Hellenic College to play one-on-one. While trying to block one of Parish's shots, Walton jammed the pinky finger on his right hand against the Chief's elbow. The finger broke, and Walton was encouraged (read that: forced) to sit out until it healed. But Walton was so intent on maintaining his conditioning during the layoff that he began riding his stationary bike at home for as many as eight hours a day (I am being completely serious). Soon, Walton began feeling pain in his ankle and foot. The ankle injury was diagnosed as "an inflammation of the outside joint of the right ankle." But further bone scans revealed yet another stress fracture in his troublesome foot. When the injury didn't respond to therapy and rest, Walton underwent surgery with the hopes of being ready and available for the playoffs. But other than a few token postseason appearances -- during which he was an awkward, shambling ghost of his former self -- Walton's career was effectively over.

Worse even than the loss of Walton was the devastating psychological effect his "maybe he'll be back, maybe he won't" status had on the team. Every time it looked like Bill might be ready to suit up, the Celtics would get excited. Then, when Bill couldn't go, their spirits would be deflated. And this happened over and over again during the season. As Bird put it: "Having Bill here was like a time bomb."

Illness and injuries: Walton was the first Celtic to go down, and then the rest of them started falling like dominos. Danny Ainge missed the first 11 games of the season with a bad back, and he struggled throughout the playoffs with knee and hamstring injuries. Larry Bird missed eight games with back, ankle and Achilles tendon injuries. Robert Parish played in 80 games, but he was suffering from tendonitis in both arms -- when he belted Bill Laimbeer in Game 5 of the 1987 Eastern Conference Finals, he said his one regret was that the tendonitis wouldn't allow him to make a fist -- and chronic sprains in both ankles. Scott Wedman was limited to six games due to an ongoing left heal injury, for which he had a surgery in January of '87 that basically ended his career. Jerry Sichting was hampered all season by a nagging intestinal virus. Hell, even coach K.C. Jones missed four games with strep throat. It was just that kind of year. But the worst injury of all might have been to...

Kevin McHale's foot: The losses of Walton and Wedman coupled with the impairment of Sichting meant that the Celtic "bench" was effectively reduced to Fred Roberts, Darren Daye and Greg Kite. In other words: Worst bench ever. For this reason, Boston's starters were forced to log heavy minutes night after night (Bird led the league in Minutes Per Game at 40.6). As any personal trainer will tell you, chronic fatigue will lead to injuries. The rest of the Celtics were suffering from them. And soon it was McHale's turn.

Mind you, McHale was having the best season of his career: He averaged 26.1 PPG, 9.9 RPG and 2.2 BPG. He shot over 60 percent from the field and better than 80 percent from the line, which is the only time anyone in NBA history has done that. He was named to the All-NBA First Team and All-NBA Defensive First Team. There was even talk about McHale possibly winning the MVP award (he eventually finished fourth in MVP voting, just behind Bird).

Unfortunately for Kevin and the Celtics, everything came undone on March 11, 1987, when Larry Nance (then with the Phoenix Suns) stepped on McHale's foot and caused a hairline fracture. Boston's medical team failed to correctly diagnose the injury and McHale continued to suffer for it...and he couldn't understand why. Said McHale: "People kept telling me, 'It's in your head.' I said, 'No, it's not. It hurts all the time. It hurts at night, during the day, all the time.' At the time, our medical staff would say, 'Ice it and forget about it.' But that was not going to work. I had played on it so long. I shouldn't have. In the Detroit series [the Eastern Conference Finals], it fractured all the way through. I went to turn on it and it felt like someone stuck a poker in my foot. It was white hot. I should have stopped then."

But he didn't. Then, during the first round of the playoffs, the Chicago Bulls team physician Dr. John Hefferon took a look at X-rays of McHale's foot. Having dealt with Michael Jordan's broken foot the year before, he knew exactly what he was looking for. Once the Celtics had been informed of the nature of McHale's injury, they allowed him to decide whether or not he should continue to play (which was and still is ridiculous). McHale didn't want to let down his teammates. He wanted to win. So he kept playing. Even after the navicular bone in his foot split like a piece of firewood.

McHale's performance in the postseason was nothing short of astounding. Forget all that crap about Jordan's "flu game" or even Willis Reed playing a few minutes in Game 7 of the 1970 NBA Finals. Kevin McHale played the entirety of the 1987 playoffs with a broken freaking foot. Think about that. And he still averaged 21.1 points (on 58 percent shooting) and 9.2 rebounds in 39 minutes per game. As McHale put it: "I never knew how good I was until I had to play on one foot. I'd still get 20 points and eight or nine rebounds. I said to myself, 'Damn, if there was a league for one-footed players, I'd be All-Pro.'"

Sadly, McHale's bravery has been all but forgotten because the Celtics didn't win the title. But it should be. However, despite his solid offensive numbers, McHale's defense was hampered. He didn't have the same mobility, which had a very serious effect in the Finals (more on that later).

Given all the injury problems and the emergence of the Detroit Pistons as an Eastern Conference powerhouse, it's amazing that the Celtics even made the Finals in '87. But they did. And they got to play the sacrificial lamb to the best Lakers team of the decade.

The Celtics in Game 1: Larry Bird scored 28 points and, at one point, hit 11 straight shots...but it didn't matter. L.A. bolted out to 21-point second-quarter lead -- they had 35 fast break points in the first half alone -- and answered every Celtics run with a run of their own. The Lakers shot 56 percent and dominated the boards (51-40). McHale's wobbly wheel wouldn't allow him to stay in front of James Worthy (33 points, 16-for-23) and Magic Johnson (29 points, 13 assists) destroyed Dennis Johnson (7 points, 3-for-7). The Purple and Gold won 126-112, but it wasn't really that close.

The Celtics in Game 2: Things did not improve for Boston in the second game. Only this time Larry was the victim. Michael Cooper made a mockery of Bird's "defense" in the second quarter by orchestrating a 20-point Lakers run during which he accounted for every point by scoring or dishing. In that quarter, he tied the NBA Finals record for assists (8) and hit 6-for-7 from three-point range. The Lakers continued to run the Celtics into the ground, outscoring Boston 36-2 in fastbreak points in the first half. It got even worse in the second half. During the third period, Magic tied Cooper's tie by dishing for 8 assists of his own and the Lakers eventually won 141-122, setting an NBA Finals record by shooting nearly 62 percent for the game. Bill Walton played 5 minutes, contributing 1 rebound, 1 turnover and 2 fouls.

The Lakers in Game 3: After getting blasted in the first two games, Larry Bird was asked whether the Lakers might sweep his Celtics. Said Bird: "Nah. We're just too good a team to be swept." And he was right. But here's the crazy thing: Boston got huge games out of Bird (30 points, 12 rebounds), D.J. (26 points, 7 boards), McHale (21 points, 10 rebounds, 5 assists) and Parish (16 points, 6-for-7), but the Celtic who beat the Lakers was...Greg Kite! The Chief got into foul trouble in the second quarter, and in came Kite. He didn't score a single point, but he grabbed 9 rebounds, blocked a Magic layup and put his huge, clumsy body all over Kareem. The Celtics caught fire (17-for-21) and outscored L.A. 30-17 for the rest of the quarter. Thanks to Kite's inspiration, they won 109-102.

The Celtics in Game 4: They were pretty relieved after finally getting a win. So relieved that Bird said: "[Game 3] was the most important game of the series for us. If we lost, it might've been tough to get up for Game 4. Now it's going to be easy." He was sort of right. The Celtics led 70-55 in the third quarter and were still up 103-95 with less than four minutes left. Then everything came undone. The Lakers went on a 9-0 run as Bird, D.J. and the Chief all coughed up the ball. Bird escaped James Worthy -- who had a fistful of Larry's jersey -- to nail a three-pointer that gave the Celtics a 106-104 lead, but Kareem got fouled on the next possession. He missed his second foul shot, but McHale (who was being jostled by Mychal Thompson) bobbled the ball out of bounds. That gave the Lakers another chance, and, of course, Magic hit his "junior, junior skyhook" over The Big Three to give L.A. the win. Note, though, that McHale -- broken foot and all -- was guarding Magic on that play. He clearly didn't have the mobility to stay with Magic on that play. And thus did McHale's injury doom the Celtics again. And Bird was upset. "You expect to lose on a skyhook. You don't expect it to be from Magic. We turned the ball over twice. We missed a rebound after a freethrow. We really can't blame anybody but ourselves. A lot happened in the last minute-and-a-half. Robert gets the ball taken away from him. I throw the ball at Kevin's feet. They miss a free throw, and we don't get the rebound. How many chances do you need to win a game?" I guess they needed, like, one more.

The Lakers in Game 5: I'm not saying they didn't try...okay, that's exactly what I'm saying. Before the game, Bird told the rest of the Celtics "If they want to celebrate, let's not let them do it on the parquet." The Lakers seemingly had other ideas -- their staff iced down several cases of champagne for their "inevitable" win, reminiscent of Jack Kent Cooke's grand faux pas in Game 7 of the 1969 NBA Finals -- but they went down rather quietly. James Worthy shot 6-for-19, Kareem was 8-for-21 and Byron Scott was 3-for-10. Meanwhile, Boston shot 52 percent and all five starters scored at least 20 points. The Celtics' comfy-cozy 123-106 win was basically their consolation prize for the Finals.

The Lakers in the first half of Game 6: Kareem showed up with a shaved head and, early on, it looked like he had jinxed his team. The Celtics started strong, held Magic to only 4 points through the first two quarters, and led 56-51 at the half. It actually looked like Boston might force a Game 7...

The Celtics in the second half of Game 6: But they didn't. The Leprechauns shot 26 percent in the third quarter. Robert Parish also picked up his fifth foul in that quarter and was exiled to the bench. The Lakers built a 19-point lead and the Celtics never again got any closer than 12 points. Bird scored only 16 points on 6-for-16 shooting and committed 4 turnovers. Danny Ainge was 1-for-9. Parish got embarrassed yet again by Kareem (32 points, 13-for-18) before fouling out. And Boston bowed out with a whimper, 106-93. And that was their last shot at an NBA title...

...until now.

Sources: NBA.com, Wikipedia, Basketball-reference.com, Ever Green by Dan Shaughnessy, Drive: The Story of My Life by Larry Bird and Bob Ryan, The Big Three and The Last Banner by Peter May, Larry Bird: The Making of an American Sports Legend by Lee Daniel Levine, and this awesome Web site that has box scores for every NBA Finals through 2003.

Repost: The Worst of Celtics-Lakers Part 8

Note: Thanks to Ryan R. for the graphic.

This is Part 8 of our The Worst of Celtics-Lakers series. This was the infamous "Lakers Revenge" series, where L.A. finally beat the Celtics in the Finals...in Boston Garden no less. And I will now throw up in my mouth.

1985 NBA Finals

Be careful what you wish for: As noted in Part 7, Magic Johnson pretty much blew the '84 Finals with costly turnovers and missed freethrows. He became so depressed afterward that Kevin McHale started calling him "Tragic Johnson" and Larry Bird was gracious enough to openly invite another showdown with the Lakers in the Finals: "I'd like to give them the opportunity to redeem themselves. I'm sure they have guys who feel they didn't play up to their capabilities."

Cedric Maxwell: 1984-85 was not a good season for Cornbread Maxwell. First, he held out of training camp because of a contract dispute. Then, in February, he underwent arthroscopic knee surgery and missed 25 games (which was, essentially, the rest of the regular season). When Maxwell finally returned for the playoffs, it was clear that he hadn't fully recovered, and some people in the Celtics organization -- Red Auerbach in particular -- felt that Max hadn't fully committed himself to rehabbing his knee. This enraged Auerbach, particularly since the team had given in and signed Max to a big contract extension after he had held out. To make matters worse, Cornbread openly sulked that he didn't get his starting job back (K.C. Jones decided to leave Kevin McHale, who had been on fire in Maxwell's absence, in the starting lineup). So between the subpar play and his attitude, Jones and the rest of the Celtics lost faith in the man who had taken them to the promised land in Game 7 of the '84 Finals...and he became firmly rooted to the useless Boston bench. (More on that later.)

Fun fact: Maxwell once said: "You know what I like to do in the offseason? I like to get in my big, fancy car, drive around to construction sites, and watch guys work. Then I roll down the window and say, 'Guess what boys? I got nothing to do today.'"

The new 2-3-2 format: The NBA, in collusion with CBS, had opted on a new 2-3-2 format for the NBA Finals. The company line was that the change was made to cut down on travel. This, of course, was complete and utter shenanigans. It was done for money, not to save the teams and media a few bucks on travel expenses. As Peter May explained: "CBS needed a series of at least six games to make a profit, and the chances of a six-game series were better with a 2-3-2 format." Proof positive that this decision was not made for basketball purposes: The format has remained 2-2-1-1-1 for every other playoff round. Anyway, the biggest problem with the revised format is that it forces the team with homecourt advantage to play Game 5 on the road. And most NBA experts and players -- and Larry Bird is prime among them -- feel strongly that Game 5 is the most pivotal game of any playoff series.

The Lakers in Game 1: This game has become known as The Memorial Day Massacre, and for good reason: The Celtics won it 148-114. Everybody on the Boston roster was on fire that day, particularly Scott Wedman who shot an NBA Finals record 11-for-11 from the field (including 4-for-4 from three-point range). As K.C. Jones put it: "It was one of those days where if you turn around and close your eyes, the ball's gonna go in." Meanwhile, Kareem was a complete loss: He found himself in early foul trouble, got embarrassed by Robert Parish (who repeatedly ran by the 38-year-old legend like it was a layup drill), and finished with only 12 points and 3 rebounds. (His performance was so bad that he personally apologized to Oh, and the Celtics owned a 63-43 advantage on the boards (Magic pulled down only 1 rebound; he had been averaging 7 RPG for the playoffs).

The Celtics in Game 2: They should have been ready. They should have realized that they wouldn't get all those extra points from Game 1. But they didn't. The Lakers fastbreaked their way to a 21-6 lead which they extended to 18 by halftime. Boston made a run to get back into it, but lost the game -- and homecourt advantage -- with a 109-102 loss. Larry Bird had 30 points and 12 rebounds, but shot only 9-for-21 and committed a team-high 5 turnovers. Dennis Johnson was 6-for-18. Cedric Maxwell was 0-for-1 and had zero rebounds in 11 minutes of lack-tion. Quinn Buckner had a two trillion. And Robert Parish, who sprained an ankle in the second quarter, was destroyed by Kareem (30 points, 17 rebounds, 8 assists, 3 blocks).

The Celtics in Game 3: As Hubie Brown would say, this game was "chippy" -- Boston reserve Ray Williams was tossed for punching Kurt Rambis and Bob McAdoo and Kevin McHale got double-technicals for roughing each other up. And, believe it or not, the Celtics were ahead 48-38 midway through the second quarter. That's when they got Showtimed. The Lakers went on a 27-11 run to end the half and continued pummeling Boston en route to a 136-111 arse-kicking. The Celtics shot 43 percent (compared to 54 percent for L.A.) and got pounded on the boards (63-48). Larry Bird shot 8-for-21, Dennis Johnson was 3-for-14 and Robert Parish (6-for-14) was once again handed his jock by Kareem (26 points, 14 rebounds, 7 assists, 2 steals, 2 blocks).

The Lakers, having learned a lesson from the Celtics' physical tactics in '84 were now bumping and hitting their foes at every opportunity. As Mitch Kupchak, who was then playing for L.A., put it: "All I did was bang in 1985." Lakers assistant coach David Wohl put the team's new "hit 'em hard and hit 'em often" tactic into the following perspective: "They keep stealing your lunch money and every day it's another quarter until you finally get fed up and whack him. Our guys are tired of having their lunch money taken away."

Since the Boston bench was non-existent (more on that later), the starters were getting worn down, leading McHale to complain: "They're beating us on the boards. They're beating us up." Bird, meanwhile, wanted to settle things in the Forum parking lot. "I don't know if the league is up for that, but the Celtics are." You'd think Larry would have had his fill of fighting by now (more on that later).

Larry Spriggs: He had a one trillion in the Lakers' 107-105 loss in Game 4.

K.C. Jones: He had been playing the hell out of the starters all series, and he did it again in Game 5. Dennis Johnson played all 48 minutes, Kevin McHale played 46, Larry Bird and Robert Parish both played 44. Only two players got off the Boston bench: Scott Wedman (19 minutes) and Cedric Maxwell (1 rebound and 1 foul in 5 minutes). Meanwhile, he earned two technicals -- and an ejection -- for arguing with the officials. The Celtics, down by as many as 18, cut the lead to 4 on four different occasions during the final quarter but eventually succumbed 120-111. And the starters, to a man, looked absolutely and utterly spent.

Given the circumstances, Jones should have cut the team's losses and saved his starters for Game 6. But he didn't, and the team paid for it.

Fun fact: James Worthy was poked in the eye in Game 5, and the injury forced him to wear goggles in Game 6. He would go on to wear them for the rest of his career. Just in case you were wondering about that.

Johnny Most: The late, great Celtics radio man opened his Game 6 broadcast by telling everybody that Kurt Rambis had just crawled out of a sewer. Ah, you've gotta love a homer.

The Celtics in Game 6: [Insert the depressing music here.] By losing this game, the Celtics not only surrendered their title, they not only lost to the hated Lakers, they lost the championship series in the Boston Garden for the first time in franchise history. It was a dark day...a very dark day. Larry Bird scored 28 points, but he took 29 shots to do it (and he missed 17 of them). Dennis Johnson and Danny Ainge were a combined 6-for-31. And Robert Parish (5-for-14) was once again demolished by the oldest man in the league (Kareem had 29 points, 7 rebounds and 4 assists despite battling foul trouble all night and eventually fouling out). The game was actually tied 55-55 at halftime, but the Celtics ran out of gas in the second half, mostly because of...

The Boston bench: The Celtics starters played all but 26 of the 240 possible minutes in Game 6. Over the last two games, they played 430 of 480 minutes. Cedric Maxwell, M.L. Carr, Quinn Buckner, Ray Williams, and Carlos Clark didn't play a single minute in the final game. And the Boston starters played every single minute of the second half. But while the bench was Big Reason #2 that the Celtics failed in 1985, Big Reason #1 is...

Larry Bird: Larry won his second MVP in 1985. During the regular season, he averaged 28.7 PPG, 10.5 RPG and 6.6 APG while shooting 52 percent from the floor. Yet he went belly-up in the Finals, shooting 44 percent for the series (and only 42 percent after Boston's killer Game 1). Bird's shooting woes were credited to the outstanding defensive play of Michael Cooper (who after the previous year's Finals had taken video tapes of Bird on his family vacation), in addition to the Lakers solid anti-Bird defensive schemes. As David Wohl put it: "In 1985, we had three, maybe four guys on Larry. We wanted to pressure him all the time. We wanted to deny him the ball, just make him work to even catch it. I think we were more relentless in that series, and in the last two games I think it caught up with them."

And while all that is true, there's more to the story.

Bird started the playoffs on fire and was averaging 30 points (on 50+ percent shooting) and 10 rebounds up until Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals. That's when Larry's production really began to fall off. He then averaged 16 PPG and 6.3 RPG for the rest of that series and only 23 PPG and 8 RPG in the Finals. So...what happened?

Larry was already struggling with existing back and elbow injuries when he showed up to Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals with a heavily bandaged right index finger (this, by the way, was the same finger that had been mangled in a college softball game before Larry's rookie season). The injury hadn't occurred in a game and nobody within the Celtics organization would comment on it. And while the press sort of left it alone until after the playoffs, it became a three-ring media circus over the summer (well, in Boston, anyway). The story ran in both the Boston Herald and the Boston Globe. And here are as many of the facts as may ever be known (since Larry himself has chosen to never publicly discuss it):

On May 16, 1985 -- the off-day between Games 2 and 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals -- Larry, Quinn Buckner and Larry's friend Nick Harris went to a Boston bar named Chelsea's. At some point in the evening, Larry got into a fight with a man named Mike Harlow (who was a bartender from a nearby bar named Little Rascals and a former college football player) in an alley next to Chelsea's. During fight, Larry knocked Harlow the hell out and injured his right index finger.

Now, there are two versions of why the fight took place. In version one, Larry's friend Harris had been beaten up by Harlow (allegedly for repeatedly hitting on Harlow's girlfriend) and Larry came to Harris' five-fingered rescue. In version two, Larry made the advances on Harlow's girlfriend and that was why the two men fought (although that story didn't explain why Harris got beaten up first).

Either way, Harlow was hurt badly enough (or pretended to be hurt badly enough) to be admitted to Massachusetts General Hospital after the fight. He then filed a lawsuit against Larry. But before it went to trial, and out-of-court settlement was reached (for somewhere between $15,000 and $21,000) and the documents were sealed.

The fact that this happened while Larry was hanging out with Harris wasn't a big surprise. According to the Boston Herald, Harris (then a 39-year-old used car salesman) had previously been convicted for selling drugs, fixing odometers, and "fraudulent bookkeeping." The Celtics didn't want Larry hanging out with his shady buddy, and they had even asked the Massachusetts State Police to run a background check on Harris (the Celtics denied this, although the state police confirmed it). It was also reported that the Celtics had specifically asked Larry to end his friendship with Harris and Larry refused (though both parties denied it), while Bird's agent, Bob Woolf, "literally begged" Larry's close friends to convince Larry to ditch Harris. Eventually, after the Finals, Larry did so.

So yeah, the Lakers played great and the Boston bench sucked. But it is also quite possible -- even probable -- that Larry Bird cost the Celtics the 1985 NBA championship.

Even more sour grapes: Kevin McHale remained convinced that the Celtics should have won it all in '85. And years later he was still talking about it. "We had a better team than they did that year. Max got hurt and everything, but they came to the Garden not thinking they could be us in that sixth game, no way. We had played like crap. We shot the ball poorly. If we had played well that sixth game, I'm not sure they'd have showed up for the seventh game. They were a great team and all, but they did not believe at that point that they could beat us. That was a turning point for them." Uh, sure, Kevin. Whatever you say.

Jerry Buss and Pat Riley, quote machines: After the game, Buss told Brent Musburger: "This trophy removes the most odious sentence in the English Language. It can never be said again that 'the Lakers have never beaten the Celtics.'" Riley added: "They can no longer mock us as they did a year ago." I will now throw up in my mouth again...

Sources: NBA.com, Wikipedia, Basketball-reference.com, Ever Green by Dan Shaughnessy, Drive: The Story of My Life by Larry Bird and Bob Ryan, The Big Three by Peter May, Larry Bird: The Making of an American Sports Legend by Lee Daniel Levine, and this awesome Web site that has box scores for every NBA Finals through 2003.

Repost: The Worst of Celtics-Lakers Part 7

This is Part 6 of our The Worst of Celtics-Lakers series. This was the first Magic versus Bird Finals and the series in which the Lakers -- after a break that lasted almost two decades -- once again got to be the Celtics' bitch.

1984 NBA Finals

Short-shorts: Come on. Just look at that picture!

Sheer and utter ugliness: There's no way to put this bluntly, so I'll put it nerdly: The 1983-84 Boston Celtics looked like they belonged in the Star Wars Cantina moreso than the NBA Finals. Larry Bird (as Bill Simmons has pointed out many, many times) was rocking the world's premier blond afro-mullet and a mustache that looked like something from an out-of-the-bag Halloween costume. Dennis Johnson was a black man with freckles. Robert Parish had an "I'm about to choke a bitch" scowl permanently frozen on a face that looked like it was chiseled out of granite. Kevin McHale looked like the love child of Herman Munster and Plastic Man. M.L. Carr tried to camouflage his resemblance to a chipmunk with a porn-star mustache. Greg Kite -- bless his heart -- was a goofy white goon. Oh, and Danny Ainge, while not technically ugly, looked like that whining, bratty kid you hated in kindergarten.

M.L. Carr, quote machine: Carr saw the Lakers as "preppies" and "wimps" because they were based in southern California, which at that time was regarded as the preppie capitol of the world. And, prior to Game 1, he didn't think those pretty boys could hack the brutal conditions in Boston Garden. Said Carr: "Get the convertible out, put the top down, and don't be coming here with any Polos and Pierre Cardins. Make sure you don't mind getting wet, 'cause the Garden's gonna be a sweatbox."

Scheduling: The Lakers eliminated the Phoenix Suns in Game 6 of the Western Conference Finals on a Friday night (West Coast time). Game 1 of the NBA Finals was immediately scheduled for Sunday night in Boston (East Coast time). But then Game 2 wouldn't be until the following Thursday. Why? Network television, my friends. CBS refused to disrupt its prime-time lineup during May sweeps and David Stern -- then in his first year as league commissioner -- didn't want the Finals shown on tape delay (as they had been in the early 1980s). Therefore Game 1 had to be aired before sweeps started and Game 2 would be aired only after the sweeps ended. Because God knows that the American people needed to see what happened on the sweeps episodes of Scarecrow and Mrs. King and Knots Landing.

Fun fact: Ever wonder why the NBA regular season begins in November instead of October, as it did back in the 80s? Stern did that so the Finals would come after the May sweeps and therefore be "ready for prime-time." Seriously.

K.C. Jones: When the Finals began, K.C. decided to put the 6'2" Gerald Henderson on the 6'9" Magic Johnson. He made this decision despite the fact that the Celtics had acquired Dennis Johnson in the offseason for the express purpose of defending guards like Andrew Toney and Magic. The reason? Because Magic was guarding Henderson, and that way Henderson could stick with Magic when the Lakers chose to fastbreak (which was, you know, every possession). Basically, Jones was terrified that D.J. wouldn't be able to find Magic in transition, which was a woeful underestimation of D.J.'s skills as a defensive player. K.C. stuck with this ludicrous game plan until midway through Game 4.

The Celtics in Game 1: They were rested. They were at home, where they had been 33-8 during the regular season and were 9-0 in the playoffs. The Lakers, meanwhile, were exhausted from playing on Friday night and taking a cross-country commercial flight to Boston (they didn't even have time for a real practice; they simply sketched a court on the hotel floor and walked through plays). Nonetheless, L.A. jumped all over Boston, building a 20-6 lead in the first six minutes. They led by 13 at halftime (65-52) and by 19 midway through the third quarter (73-54). The Celtics made a valiant comeback attempt, but fell short and lost 115-109.

For the game, Boston shot 43 percent (compared to 57 percent for the Lakers) and committed 17 turnovers. Cedric Maxwell was 3-for-8 from the field. Larry Bird shot 7-for-17 and committed 6 turnovers. Robert Parish (13 points) got destroyed by the 37-year-old Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (32 points, 8 rebounds, 5 assists) before fouling out (and Kareem was suffering from a migraine headache at the time). Oh, and Danny Ainge had a two trillion.

Kevin McHale's missed freethrows: Having already lost Game 1 at home, the Celtics absolutely could not afford to lose Game 2. Despite that, they were facing a two-point deficit with 20 seconds left. But Kevin McHale had been fouled and had the chance to tie the game by converting a couple foul shots. But he didn't. He bonked both of them...and his knees were shaking.

Here's how Larry Legend remembered it: "I'll never forget it. He missed the first one and now he's worried, so now he's trying to guide the ball in. He didn't make that one either. What we didn't know until we saw the tape was that while he was lining up that second shot, Kevin's knees were clacking back and forth. They were really shaking. Oh, we got on him hard. Max was leading it, calling him 'Clacker' and 'Slacker' and 'Knee Shaker.' Everybody said, 'How would you like to have Kevin taking the last shot of the game?' It was so funny." Yeah. Funny. But only because the Celtics won the game. And that happened because of...

The tragic turnover, Part I: Thanks to McHale's blown freethrows, the Lakers were still leading 113-111 with 20 seconds. Coach Pat Riley had told Magic to call a timeout if McHale made his foul shots. Magic, however, misunderstood and called a timeout after the misses. This allowed the Celtics to set up their defense as opposed to forcing them to commit a quick foul. After the timeout, Magic inbounded the ball to James Worthy at midcourt, and Worthy tried to lob the ball over the Boston D to Byron Scott. But Gerald Henderson rondo'd the pass and took it in for a layup.

This is how Henderson remembered it: "We were pretty down after Kevin missed those fuckin' freethrows. M.L. and me had been coming in as a defensive tandem for a while, and we'd tell each other, 'Let's make somethin' happen. We gotta make it happen.' It wasn't hard to get pumped up with M.L. around. I think I had Byron Scott. Magic took the ball out. He passed it to Worthy, and I left my man anticipating because whoever went to double-team Worthy had left their man. You rotate and I rotated to the open man. I guess it was an instinctive thing. I was at full speed. After I got it, Worthy came over. He wanted the ball back, but at that point, it's two."

The tragic turnover, Part II: Henderson's steal and layup made it 113-all, but the Lakers had the ball and 13 seconds...which should have been all the time they needed to get a good shot. Particularly since they had Kareem (with his unblockable skyhook) and Worthy had been on fire all day (11-for-12). But Magic dribbled out the clock without attempting a shot or a pass. And it wasn't because of the Celtics defense. He just had a brainfart of legendary proportions. The Celtics went on to win in overtime, 124-121.

The Celtics in Game 3: This ass-kicking couldn't have been more complete if Larry Bird had strapped a self-operated ass-kicking machine to his back. The Lakers were already leading by 11 at halftime. But then...then they exploded for 47 points in the third quarter. During one particularly brutal five-minute run, the Lakers scored 18 consecutive points while the Celtics missed 10 shots and committed 5 turnovers. Boston shot 39 percent for the game, got outrebounded 63-44, and eventually lost 137-104. It was the worst loss in the Celtics playoff history.

Bird busts his teammates, Part I: After the game, Bird was pissed. And Larry did what many frustrated athletes have done in the same situation: He threw his team under the bus. Said Bird: "We played like a bunch of sissies. I know the heart and soul of this team, and today the heart wasn't there, that's for sure. I can't believe a team like this would let L.A. come out and push us around like they did. Today I didn't feel we played hard. We got beat bad, and it's very embarrassing." Ye-ouch.

Bird's "Sissy Speech" is now the stuff of legends. Boston sportswriter Peter May called it a "Churchhillian 'We shall fight on the beaches' address," and many people credited it with turning the series around. That said, it would not go over well today. I mean, think about it. When Kobe Bryant went out shakin' trees, he got crucified. When Joakim Noah correctly accused his teammates of not being dedicated to winning, his coach told him to shut up. When Carmelo Anthony called his team out for quitting in the playoffs -- which they did -- he got blasted by the press. Times, they have 'a changed.

The "Finals MVP" announcement: The day after Game 3, the Los Angeles papers began a print campaign to have James Worthy named Finals MVP, despite the fact that the Lakers were still two games away from winning the title. This enraged the Celtics, and Cedric Maxwell noted that he had to play six games and win a championship before being named Finals MVP in 1981.

McHale's infamous clothesline: Game 4 was what Hubie Brown would call "chippy." Larry Bird ass-checked Michael Cooper into the stands. Kareem whacked Bird in the face with an elbow, and Larry responded by getting all up in Kareem's face. There was pushing. There was shoving. And all this came to a head in the second quarter when Kevin McHale almost killed Kurt Rambis.


This was one of the most violent plays in NBA history. In his book Who's Better, Who's Best In Basketball, Elliot Kalb claimed that this play opened the door for the hand-to-hand combat tactics of the Bad Boys Piston teams of the late 80s (and therefore those brutal Knicks and Heat teams from the 90s). But according to the man who committed the foul, it was kind of an accident.

Said McHale: "I didn't know what the hell was going on there. Sitting next to M.L. on the bench, he'd scream every time they got a layup. 'No more layups! Grab 'em, grab em!' I heard this for six minutes every game. (McHale was still the sixth man at this point.) So I got out there, and coming down on the break, they passed it one way, they got it back to Kurt, and I just...turned. It looked like I horsecollared him. I was trying to grab him. His momentum carried my left arm so far away I couldn't lock 'em. He just went down really hard, and I went, 'Oooooh.' At that point, it was such a physical series, I wasn't going to help him up. I felt bad, and I hoped he wasn't hurt. Hey, if I was trying to hurt somebody, I'd try to hurt Magic or somebody, not Kurt Rambis. It just happened. That kind of set the tone for our team, but I just wanted to grab the guy. I sure didn't want to get him like that."

The Lakers choke job: Most people believe that McHale's clothesline is what changed the series. As Cedric Maxwell put it: "Before Kevin McHale hit Kurt Rambis, the Lakers were just running across the street whenever they wanted. Now they stop at the corner, push the button, wait for the light, and look both ways."

But here's the thing: The Lakers were leading by six points when that happened, and they were still leading by five with less than a minute left in regulation. But Parish converted a three-point play after a sequence in which the Celtics got three straight offensive rebounds, and then Bird hit two freethrows with 16 seconds left. The Lakers had the ball and a chance to win it, but Parish stole a pass from Magic, who was trying to get it into Worthy in the post.

In overtime, Magic missed two huge freethrows. Then Worthy missed one and Maxwell gave him the choke sign. The score was tied with 16 seconds left when Magic was forced to pick up Bird (Michael Cooper had fallen down). Larry promptly sank a fallaway shot over Magic and the Celtics went on to win 129-125.

Bird's followup: After Game 4, the press was excited to find out how Bird felt about how his teammates had responded to his "sissy challenge." And this is what Larry said: "It was better. We just played like a bunch of women tonight." Ha, ha...that crazy Larry.

Fun fact: The Larry Bird: A Basketball Legend DVD uses this quote after the Celtics' Game 3 loss, presumably because they didn't have the "sissies" comment on film. But trust me: He said it after Game 4.

The Boston press: When the Lakers returned to Boston for Game 5, they had a surprise waiting for them. The Boston papers had printed the name of the hotel the Lakers were staying in. As a result, they were harassed all night by phone calls and false fire alarms. I'm guessing they didn't get much sleep.

The Game 5 heat wave: Ah, the greatness of Red Auerbach. He made a phone call to God and asked for a heat wave before Game 5. And he got it. It was 97 degrees and humid in Boston on that fateful day. And since the Garden -- which was built in 1928 -- had no air conditioning or windows, it felt more like 200 degrees. It was so bad that referee Hugh Evans had to leave at halftime and Kareem spent time on the bench desperately sucking air from an oxygen mask. This is how Kareem described the oppressive conditions: "I suggest that you go to a local steam bath, do one hundred pushups with all your clothes on, and then try to run back and forth for 48 minutes."

I'm not saying the heat is why the Lakers lost. But it sure didn't help their cause.

The Celtics in the final 16 minutes of Game 6: Boston was leading by 11 in the third quarter (84-73) and then everything came undone. L.A. outscored them 46-25 in the final 16 minutes to win 119-108. I guess you could have blamed Greg Kite and his one trillion, but Bird didn't...

Bird busts his teammates, Part II: Bird was great in Game 6: 28 points, 14 rebounds, 8 assists, 3 blocks. But he was very unhappy afterwards that he only got 11 shots (particularly when D.J. had 20 shots and Henderson had 17). Said Bird: "I wanted the ball in my hands, especially when the 11-point lead was going down. I was making things happen when I had it. I didn't get it enough when we needed it." But Bird wasn't only mad at his teammates.

Bird's conspiracy theory: I wrote about this last year, but Larry believed that Game 6 was rigged. Said Bird: "Stern told a fan that the NBA needed a seven-game series, that the league needed the money. When the commissioner makes a statement like that to a fan, you know it's going to be tough. When Stern makes a statement like that, things are going to happen. You just don't make statements like that and not expect anything out of it. He's the commissioner and he shouldn't be saying anything like that. The NBA wanted a seventh game because they wanted to make more money and they got their wish. There is no reason for me to lie. He said it. He's a man and he'll live up to it. He may say he said it in jest. But I'm out there trying to make a living and win a championship."

Stern chose not to respond to Bird directly, but NBA spokesman Brian McIntyre said: "David said Bird's comment is ridiculous. Like every fan in America, he has been looking forward to a seventh game. It's a dream matchup, and everybody has wanted to see a seven-game series since Day 1."

What I would have asked Bird is this: If the game was rigged for the Lakers to win, why did the Celtics have a 35-17 advantage in freethrow attempts?

Lakers fans: After Game 6, M.L. Carr was hit in the face and eyes by a beer cup full of an unidentified liquid. (Carr said "I don't know what it was, but it definitely wasn't beer.") Carr's eyes were so irritated by whatever it was that he had to wear goggles in Game 7. This act so enraged Maxwell that he told DJ: "Let's kill them on Tuesday. Let's kill those freaks." (Max had 24 points, 8 rebounds and 8 assists in Game 7.)

The climactic Game 7: The Celtics shot 39 percent from the field in the final game. So how'd they win? By raping the Lakers on the boards (52-33, including 20 offensive rebounds). Oh, and they also got 51 freethrow attempts (compared to 28 for the Lakers). Some of those came at the end of the game when the Lakers had to intentionally foul, but still...

Tragic Johnson: If you've made it this far, you'll notice that there was a disturbing trend throughout this series: Magic throwing the ball away and missing freethrows at critical moments. And it happened again in Game 7. The Lakers came back from a 14-point deficit to trail by only three with about a minute left. Magic had the ball, but D.J. knocked it loose. Michael Cooper recovered it and gave it back to Magic, who once again had it knocked away...this time by Maxwell. The Celtics recovered and the Lakers were forced to foul D.J., who put the game away with a couple freethrows.

Magic didn't take it well. After the game, he stayed in the showers for so long that Isiah Thomas, who had come to the game to support his longtime friend, went looking for him. This is how Magic put it just recently: "But when Larry beat us the first time in '84 I think it was, you know, I was devastated. I went into hiding for about a month, sat in the dark. I was so mad, upset, you know, because the Celtics beat the Lakers once again."

This fact wasn't lost on the press, who reported on Magic's depression for most of the summer. In response, McHale started referring to him as "Tragic Johnson."

Red Auerbach, the gracious winner: Red, never one to miss a chance to stick it to the Lakers or the press, had this to say after the game: "You guys (the media) were talking about a dynasty the Lakers had. But what dynasty? Here's the only dynasty right here. This team."

Kevin McHale: Most people think that Bird wouldn't have won a championship without McHale. But it should be noted that when the Celtics won it all in '81, McHale averaged 10 MPG in the Finals. And he didn't exactly light it up in '84, either. Here are Kevin's averages for the championship series: 13.4 PPG, 5.9 RPG, 44 percent shooting (33-73). Not exactly impressive, is it?

Dennis Johnson, quote machine: Per the usual custom, the Celtics were invited to the White House to be honored for winning the NBA title. President Ronald Reagan spoke to them in 90-degree heat on Rose Garden Lawn. Reagan said: "As the leaders of your organization changed, as one group of stars was replaced by another group, the Celtics not only survived, they maintained their championship form because the Celtics have been a team of champions, larger and greater than any one player, coach or manager." DJ, amazed at how unfazed Reagan was by the heat, took the microphone and said: "Mr. President, how do you stand out here and don't sweat?"

Sources: NBA.com, Wikipedia, Basketball-reference.com, Ever Green by Dan Shaughnessy, Drive: The Story of My Life by Larry Bird and Bob Ryan, The Big Three by Peter May, Larry Bird: The Making of an American Sports Legend by Lee Daniel Levine, and The Boston Celtics 1984 Championship Official Souvenir Book.

Repost: The Worst of Celtics-Lakers Part 6

This is Part 6 of our The Worst of Celtics-Lakers series. And I hate to break this to you, but it turns out that, sometimes, '69 isn't gratifying for both parties involved.

1969 NBA Finals

Deck stacking: Some NBA conspiracy theorists -- Jeff Van Gundy prime among them -- have half-seriously suggested that there should be an investigation into the Lakers' acquisition of Pau Gasol this season. But with all due respect to Mitch Kupchak, that transaction was nothing compared to the coup that Lakers owner Jack Kent Cooke pulled off on July 9, 1968. That was the day he sent Darrall Imhoff, Jerry Chambers and Archie Clark -- otherwise known as "Who, who, and who?" -- to Philadelphia for one Wilton Norman Chamberlain. For comparisons sake, that would have been like Kupchak getting Tim Duncan and Dwight Howard for Ronny Turiaf, Luke Walton and Sasha Vujacic.

Of course, the transaction was made possible by the fact that Cooke was willing to pay out the ass for Wilt: An NBA record-busting $250,000 after taxes. (Yes, Wilt insisted that his employers pay his taxes as part of his contract.) To provide some perspective, Jerry West -- who had been the Lakers top moneymaker -- was getting $100,000 before taxes. And in case you were wondering, the answer is: Yes, this kind of deal would be impossible today given the current salary cap restrictions.

Expectations: This was supposed to be The Year for the Lakers, no question about it. Adding Wilt to a championship-caliber squad that already included Jerry West and Elgin Baylor made them the NBA's first superteam. It was literally impossible at the time to imagine they would lose to anybody, let alone the creaky, old Celtics. Not that Boston didn't receive an appropriate level of respect and reverence for what they had accomplished over the last decade, but come on. Sam Jones was 36. Bill Russell was 35 and playing through leg injuries that had hospitalized him during the regular season. They snuck into the playoffs with a 48-34 record, last among the Eastern Division playoff teams and their worst record since 1950. (And yes, that was BA; Before Auerbach.) Of course, that record was a little deceiving because of...

The first Shaq. You know how The Big Coffee Break likes to take mini-vacations during the regular season so that he'll have that oh-so-fresh feeling for the playoffs? Well, Bill Russell was way, way ahead of him on that front. According to John Havlicek: "One of the reasons we finished fourth (in the Eastern Division) was that Russell missed a lot of games near the end of the season, and that was a blessing because he had two or three weeks where he didn't play. He sort of came back to the playoffs rejuvenated." Yup. Bill Russell did a little sandbagging in his time. Funny how nobody ever mentions that.

Getting it wrong (again): Sports Illustrated declared as early as 1963 that the Celtics were too old to win another championship -- good call, huh? -- and their opinion certainly hadn't changed with the passing of six more years. This is how SI's Frank Deford put it: "As all schoolchildren know, the Celtics are too old. Too old. Too old. This is a recording." But in all fairness, Frank wasn't alone. At the time, many sportswriters were regularly referring to Bill Russell as "the old man." Oh, and Las Vegas had the Lakers as nine-to-five favorites to beat their hated rivals. So, yeah, pretty much everybody was getting it wrong.

Misdirection: On the subject of sandbagging, Bill Russell passed Jerry West while on his way to the Celtics pregame practice before the series opener, and he asked The Logo how he was feeling. This is how Jerry responded: "I feel like I got nothing in me. This season's been two years long."

West's "nothing" turned out to be good for 53 points in 46 minutes, which propelled the Lakers to a thrilling 120-118 win (despite 39 points from John Havlicek). West was so hot that Russell approached him during the third quarter and said: "Empty, huh? I'm getting so I just don't believe you country boys anymore."

Fun fact: Mr. Clutch said that his hot hand actually started to embarrass him late in the game, causing him to pass off to Elgin Baylor and Johnny Egan rather than take more shots. Seriously. (Can you imagine, say, Kobe getting embarrassed by how many shots he was taking?) After the game, West's shooting arm was so sore that it had to be iced down.

The Boston defense: During their championship years, the Celtics had always used defense as their primary weapon. It failed them in the first two games. By a lot. As noted, they got shelled by West and the Lakers in Game 1, and it happened again in Game 2: West finished with 41 of his team's 118 points and the Lakers took a 2-0 lead that felt more like a 7-0 lead...to everybody outside the Boston locker room.

A critical turnover, Part I: Boston won Game 3 to get back into the series, and Game 4 turned into an all-out defensive battle that the Lakers should have won. But of course they didn't. L.A. was ahead 88-87 with 15 seconds left and they had the ball. The only thing standing between them and a 3-1 series lead was a simple inbounds play...which they totally screwed up. Emmette Bryant stole the pass and the Celtics broke downcourt to try and steal the game.

A critical turnover, Part II (or "Home cooking, Part I"): After Bryant's steal, Sam Jones misfired on a potential go-ahead basket. Wilt slapped the rebound to Elgin Baylor and the game should have been over. But it wasn't. Referee Joe Gushue called Baylor for stepping out of bounds. Suffice to say, Baylor disagreed -- vehemently -- but Gushue ignored him and awarded the ball to the Celtics...giving the home team one last shot at, well, a miracle.

The unstoppable miracle, Part I: This is only a "worst of" if you're a Lakers fan. The Celtics had seven seconds to score. John Havlicek and Larry Siegfried convinced Russell to run a triple-pick play they called "Ohio" (so named because John and Larry had used it when they played together at Ohio State). The play was complicated, almost ridiculously so, and the Celtics had never actually used it in a game (Russell hadn't even attended the practice at which the play had been introduced). But they ran it anyway.

Sam Jones, who was the designated shooter, ran into teammate Baily Howell, which caused him to slip up while shooting. Knowing he had little chance to hit while off-balance, Jones threw up a high-arcing shot hoping not that it would go in but that Russell would get the rebound. There was only one problem with that idea: Russell had taken himself out of the game, figuring the Celtics needed another shooter more than they needed a rebounder. It didn't matter. Sam's shot went in, and Boston won.

Stat curse, Part I: The Lakers went on to win Game 5 at home (117-104) but Wilt got poked in the eye by Emmette Bryant and Jerry West strained his hamstring. Both players seemed to have recovered by Game 6, but the Celtics won anyway (99-90). After that loss, The Big Dipper was unable to restrain his titanic ego and boldly predicted that the Lakers were a mortal lock to win Game 7 back in L.A. Nostradamus he wasn't.

Bill Russell, quote machine: When Wilt's brash (read that: stupid) words were related to Russell, Boston's player-coach went nuclear: "Who cares what Wilt says? That's all I've heard over and over again through the years -- 'Wilt this and Wilt that.' I don't give a damn what Wilt has to say." Wow. Overreact much, Bill? (Seriously, doesn't that sound more like something you'd expect Rasheed Wallace to say rather than Bill "Mr. Classy" Russell? Yeah, me too.)

Stat curse, Part II: Jack Kent Cooke was a confident man. So confident, in fact, that he planned a wild celebration for his team's inevitable Game 7 victory. The locker room was stocked with expensive champagne. More than 5,000 balloons were strung up in nets on the ceiling to be released after the game. And the University of Southern California's marching band was waiting behind the scenes to play "Happy Days Are Here Again" after the game. Why, Cooke even had a post-game program printed up outlining how the celebration was going to play out (Elgin Baylor was to speak first, followed by Jerry West, and concluding with Wilt).

Unfortunately for Cooke and the Lakers, Bill Russell got a hold of that program. And the Celtics were not amused. Boston literally ran out to a huge lead, using a fastbreaking attack to build a double-digit lead that grew as large as 21 points in the fourth quarter. But the Lakers came back, even despite...

The Big Dipper Quitter: With five minutes left and the Celtic lead cut to a manageable nine points, Wilt came down with a rebound -- his 27th -- and twisted his knee. Lakers trainer Frank O'Neill sprayed Chamberlain's knee with Freon (no, seriously), but Wilt couldn't go and asked to be taken out.

These days, it's fairly common for an injured player to take himself out of a game, even if only temporarily. But in the 1960s, it simply wasn't done. "Real men" were expected to play unless a limb fell off or they exploded. (Red Auerbach, in fact, had once said: "There are no such thing as injuries.") So while it's entirely probable that Wilt really was too hurt to play at that moment, Russell (among others) thought he was faking to avoid getting blamed for losing to the Celtics once again. However, some people (as Basketbawful reader David pointed out) felt as though Wilt was protecting his perfect record of having never fouled out of a game (Chamberlain had 5 fouls at the time).

Butch Van Breda Kolff: Of course, the Laker comeback continued and they eventually cut the deficit to only three points. It was at that point that Wilt asked to be put back into the game. Van Breda Kolff refused, choosing instead to stick with Mel Counts. Chamberlain was enraged and kept stalking around, asking again and again to re-enter the game. Butch finally told him: "I'm not putting you back in. We're playing better without you."

Van Breda Kolff was as good as his word; he never did put Wilt back in. After the game, Butch called Wilt a quitter and Wilt called Butch a liar, and the two men nearly came to blows before being restrained. Which was much better for Van Breda Kolff than it was for Chamberlain, who would have torn the (relatively) teeny man to even teenier pieces.

A critical turnover, Part III: With less than two minutes left, Counts hit a shot to put the Lakers up by one point. It would have been L.A.'s first lead of the game, but Counts was called for traveling and the basket was taken away. It was a huge mistake. Huuuuuge.

The unstoppable miracle, Part II: With less than a minute to go, the Celtics had the ball and a one-point lead. West poked the ball away from John Havlicek, but it ended up in the hands of Don Nelson, who immediately tossed up a 15-footer that hit the back rim, flew up about 30 feet, and dropped straight back down into the basket to give Boston a three-point lead. And that lead would turn out to be insurmountable.

Of his famous shot, Nelson later said: "That was the luckiest shot I ever made in my life. The 24-second clock was running down, and Havlicek made a move. Somebody from behind hit the ball, and it came right to me. I was cutting across the paint. I just grabbed it and shot it very poorly, and it made that crazy bounce and went in. There was no time to chuckle. It was like I planned it that way."

The Lakers' freethrow shooting: Talk about shooting yourself in the foot: L.A. was 28-for-47 from the foul line in that fateful Game 7. Wilt, naturally, was responsible for nine of those misses (he was 4-for-13 on the night). I'm not a mathematologist, but even I know that 19 bonked freethrows probably had an impact on the Lakers' two-point loss. (Thanks to David for the reminder.)

The consolation prize: Despite being a member of the losing team, Jerry West was named Finals MVP...mostly because everybody felt so damn sorry for him. (Also, it probably didn't hurt that he was white.) It remains the one and only time that the Finals MVP went to someone who wasn't on the winning team. West averaged nearly 40 PPG for the series and had a triple double (42 points, 13 rebounds, 12 assists) in Game 7.

West received a car for winning that award. But here's the ironic part: The car was green.

More sour grapes: Wilt, being Wilt, was angry and bitter after the game. And again, being Wilt, he chose to vent to the press: "The thing that kills me, they didn't beat us. We beat ourselves. You don't mind too much being beaten by a really superior team, but to go out and beat yourself, it's a shame." Naturally, Bill Russell heard about Wilt's remarks, and that might be at least part of the reason he eventually said whe he said...

Post-mortem: Shortly after the Finals had ended, Bill Russell was speaking at the University of Wisconsin when a student said that the only reason Russell had always defeated Wilt was because he, Russell, always had the better teammates. Not only did Bill disagree -- naming off Wilt's past and present teammates such as Paul Arizin, Tom Gola, Guy Rogers, Billy Cunningham, Hal Greer, Elgin Baylor, and Jerry West -- he blasted Wilt for taking himself out of Game 7 while his team still had a chance to win.

Mind you, Russell was retired. He would never have to face Chamberlain on the court again. He could finally speak his mind, and it seems as though there was a little bitterness built up. Russell continued: "Now, in my opinion, if he's hurt so bad that he can't play in the seventh game, he should go straight to the hospital. But if he's hurt and then five minutes later recovers, there's something wrong with that injury. You can't quit like that and win championships." And he wasn't done: "Wilt copped out in the last game. Any injury short of a broken leg or a broken back isn't good enough. When he took himself out of that game, when he hurt his knee, well, I wouldn't have put him back in either." Finally, Russell said: "He asks for [criticism]. He talks a lot about what he's going to do. What it's all about is winning and losing, and he's done a lot of losing. He thinks he's a genius. He isn't."

When Wilt heard about what Russell had said, he was outraged. After all, the two men were longtime friends. Said Chamberlain: "He's been my house guest and he's broken bread with me. I'd like to jam a ball down his throat." Russell refused to apologize or even amend what he had said, and the two men didn't speak for over 20 years. Which, really, was quite a waste of time they could never get back.

Sources: NBA.com, Wikipedia, Basketball-reference.com, Ever Green by Dan Shaughnessy, The Rivalry by John Taylor, and Wilt: Just Like Any Other 7-foot Black Millionaire Who Lives Next Door, by Wilt Chamberlain and David Shaw.

Further reading: Go read my Lakers Versus Celtics: A Not-So-Brief History post at Deadspin.

Repost: The Worst of Celtics-Lakers Part 5

This is Part 5 of our The Worst of Celtics-Lakers series. I really hope nobody forwards these posts to Jerry West. They would probably feel like a nutshot in words to him.

1968 NBA Finals

The Grim Reaper. Again. On April 4, 1968, Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated by James Earl Ray. It was a national tragedy, and it just so happened to occur the night before Game 1 of the Eastern Division Finals between the Boston Celtics and the reigning champion Philadelphia 76ers. Although there was some talk of postponing the game, the teams reluctantly agreed to play.

However, Wilt Chamberlain and some of the other Sixers players were upset that their coach, Alex Hannum, didn't call a meeting to discuss it and get their opinions. Especially since Red Auerbach had done that with his Celtics. It mattered. Boston came out and beat a flat Philly team at home in that first game 127-118. The Sixers came back to win three straight to go up 3-1 before collapsing in the next three games. The Celtics won Game 7 in Philadelphia. In that Game, Wilt Chamberlain took only two shots in the second half -- both of which were putback attempts -- and touched the ball only four times in the final quarter.

At any rate, King's murder was a deep current running through these playoffs, and it certainly cast a pall over the Sixers.

Coaching: For the first time since they had started meeting in the Celtics in the NBA Finals, the Lakers had a new coach: Butch van Breda Kolff, formerly the head coach of Princeton. Nicknamed "Fang" and "Crazy Horse" by Elgin Baylor, van Breda Kolff was an explosive, beer-drinking good old boy who liked to yell at his players and would even call Baylor "dum-dum" in front of the other players.

In some ways, the Lakers responded (they went 52-30, which was the fourth best record in the league), in other ways, they did not. As Jerry West put it: "There was a change in attitude surrounding the team. He was a volatile person who pretty much said what he thought. He felt that was the way to do it. You simply cannot do that at the professional level."

Yeah. And if somebody like West felt that way, you can only imagine how the rest of the team felt about Butch. And I doubt that helped. The Celtics, meanwhile, never had any problems with their coach.

Be careful what you wish for. Again. Just like in 1962, the Lakers coaching staff and players had been rooting for the Celtics, and not the Sixers, to make it out of the Eastern Division. Such was the power that Wilt Chamberlain held over the hearts and minds of, well, pretty much everybody: L.A. preferred to face off against a team that had won eight straight championships before having an off year because they wanted to face Bill Russell rather than The Big Dipper. You read that correctly: They wanted Russell. And they got him.

Elgin Baylor and Jerry West: No matter who was coaching or who was backing them up, the performances of these two men continued to dictate whether the Lakers won or lost. In Game 1, West shot 7-for-24 and Baylor was 11-for-31. So, you know, they lost.

Butch Van Breda Kolff: After West and Baylor's stink-a-palooza in Game 1, the team came back to win Game 2 in Boston (123-113) before losing Game 3 at home (127-119). Things were looking grim in Game 4, and they started looking even worse after Butch -- living up to his "volatile person" reputation -- got himself ejected for jawing with the officials. Fortunately for him, it didn't matter because of...

Boston's defense on Baylor and West: Baylor scored 30 and West dropped a 38-point bomb on the Celtic D. That double-point explosion propelled the Lakeshow to a 118-105 victory that was marred only by...

Another injury to Jerry West: The Logo had a rough season in 1967-68. He was kneed in the thigh. He got hit in the face with a karate chop (yes, a karate chop). He broke his left hand. He bruised his hip. His nose was broken twice. He also pulled a groin muscle. During his Game 4 tour de force, West collided with John Havlicek and sprained his ankle. While it didn't affect his shooting eye -- he scored 35 points in Game 5 -- it affected his mobility and defense, and the Celtics eked out a 120-117 overtime victory.

More van Breda Kolff: In Game 5, Russell had moved Sam Jones to the forward position, where he dominated Gail Goodrich in the low post. Butch decided to counter Russell's adjustment by using a taller, slower lineup in Game 6. Um, yeah, that didn't work. I mean, L.A.'s primary advantage over Boston had been youth and speed...which van Breda Kolff effectively negated, and in an elimination game, no less. So much for going with what had been working for you all year. The Celtics were up by 20 after two quarters and -- behind Havlicek's 40 points -- eventually won 124-109. And this happened in Los Angeles.

More sour grapes: Jerry West was a classy guy, no question about it. But some of his statements following the L.A.'s fifth loss in the Finals to the Celtics bordered on not-so-classy. "To be frank, we gave them the championship. We gave them the first game, and we gave them the fifth." West was quick to add that "But I take nothing from them," but that's just an example of covering your ass. Because I know enough about the English language to realize that when somebody says they "gave" their opponent a championship, that person is trying to take something away.

Which is funny because, on the other hand, West freaked out after the game when an unnamed Laker asked "When do we get our playoff checks?" West, the highest paid player on the team, couldn't believe that -- GASP!! -- somebody was playing for money.

Sources: NBA.com, Wikipedia, Basketball-reference.com, Ever Green by Dan Shaughnessy, and The Rivalry by John Taylor.

Further reading: Go read my Lakers Versus Celtics: A Not-So-Brief History post at Deadspin.

Repost: The Worst of Celtics-Lakers Part 4

This is Part 4 of our The Worst of Celtics-Lakers series. Which, much like Iron Eagle IV, will redefine what is rad...and what is not.

1966 NBA Finals

The Auerbach Challenge, Part I: Before the 1965-66 season even began, Auerbach had decided it would be his last campaign as Celtics coach. But instead of keeping the news under his yarmulke, Red told the press his plans in typical Auerbachian fashion: "I'm announcing it now so no one can ever say I quit while I was ahead. I'm telling everyone right now -- Los Angeles, Philadelphia, everyone -- that this will be my last season. You've got one more shot at Auerbach!"

Red did this, of course, to motivate his troops. After all, seven straight championships could make any team a little complacent (although probably not this particular team, actually). However, Auerbach's challenge also succeeded in lighting a fire under Boston's opponents (read that: everbody outside of New England). As noted in The Saturday Evening Post: "They want [the Celtics] to lose because they detest Auerbach. Auerbach has predicted he would depart a champion and they want him to go out a loser." Truer words were never spoken.

Everywhere the Celtics went, fans took advantage of their "last shot" at Red. During a convincing loss to the Royals in Cincinnati, hundreds of fans lit up victory cigars in order to mock the rascally coach. Then, in the closing seconds of the game, a woman in "maroon stretch pants and a white angora sweater" ran down from the crowd, took a long drag off of her cigar, and blew the smoke in Red's face. Naturally, Auerbach yanked the cigar out of her mouth and flicked ashes all over her. She's probably lucky he didn't stick it in her eye, too.

Things got even worse when Boston played in Philadelphia. Near the end of one blowout loss to the Sixers, fans not only lit up their victory cigars, they also peppered Red with a barrage of peanut bags and beer cans. Then, as the final buzzer sounded, a lone fan approached the Celtics bench and threw a lit cigar in Auerbach's splotchy face. Red responded by calling Philly a "bush town." Not long after, the fan wrote into the Philadelphia Bulletin to admit his guilt, but he couldn't resist taking another potshot at Auerbach. "It did not hit him. That so-called smudge he showed on his fat head was probably from his dirty hands." Oooooooh...what a zinger!

Anyway, the challenge brought the heat down on Red's team all season. And although it wasn't enough to derail Boston's championship choo-choo, it was the kind of declaration that -- had it backfired -- might had tarnished Auerbach's spotless record as a crafty winner.

The aftermath of an injury: As noted, Elgin Baylor obliterated his knee in Game 1 of the 1965 Western Division Finals. And I'm not being melodramatic; the main ligament in the knee had suffered catastrophic damage and the kneecap had split almost in half. Initially, there were serious questions about whether he would even be able to walk again, let alone play basketball. But Baylor worked like a demon to make it back to the NBA, and he did...although he could never make it all the way back. Said Elgin: "I wasn't the same player. I was about 75 percent of the player I had been."

And he wasn't. Baylor played 65 games that season, averaging 16.6 PPG (on 40 percent shooting) and 9.6 rebounds. His presence made the Lakers a better team, to be sure, but not quite the powerhouse they might have been had he been the Elgin of old.

Fun fact: Baylor's middle name is "Gay." Seriously.

The Celtics in Game 1: The Celtics raced out to a 38-20 lead, which should have been a big enough cushion anywhere -- even Pluto! -- but especially Boston Garden. It wasn't. By the final minute, the Lakers had tied the score. They even took a brief lead when Bill Russell goaltended a shot by Elgin Baylor. But Sam Jones hit a shot to force overtime. But Boston couldn't stay in front of Baylor (36 points) or Jerry West (41 points), and L.A. pulled out a 133-129 victory.

The Auerbach Challenge, Part II: Red wasn't going to just sit back and let the Lakers have a psychological edge over his team going into Game 2. So Auerbach made the grandest possible announcement: Bill Russell was going to be the next coach of the Boston Celtics. The news not only turned the basketball world upside down -- after all, Russ was going to be the first black head coach in a major American sport -- it also stole the headlines from the Lakers. And L.A. coach Fred Shaus was pissed. But what could he do? Nothing, except pray that his team would respond with fire.

They didn't.

Boston won game two in a 129-109 blowout, then crushed the Lakers in L.A. by a score of 120-106. They also edged the Lakers in Game 4, 122-117, and it looked like the series was all but over. All the Celtics had to do was win Game 5 at home.

They didn't.

The Celtics in Games 5 and 6: Boston choked at home (121-117) and then again in Los Angeles (123-115) to set up yet another Game 7 showdown with the Lakers. This happened primarily because Fred Shaus switched to a three guard lineup, exiling starting forward Rudy LaRusso to the bench, playing Jerry West in the three spot, and putting Gail Goodrich on John Havlicek. Normally, the Celtics were the ones who used small adjustments to stymie their opponents. This time they were the victims of a minor tweak, and they couldn't respond.

Elgin Baylor and Jerry West: The Lakers' dynamic duo didn't respond well to the pressure of Game 7: They combined to shoot 3-for-18 in the first half -- 2-for-9 for West, 1-for-9 for Baylor -- as the Celtics built a huge lead. And Boston should have cruised from there.

But they didn't.

Red Auerbach (via John Volpe): The Celtics led by as many as 19 points in the third quarter, and they maintained a double-digit bulge throughout the fourth quarter. They were still up by 10 points with a minute left when Volpe, who was at that time the governor of Massachusetts, lit Red's victory cigar. And if you're wondering, the answer is: Yes, the stat curse dates all the way back to the 1960s. The Boston fans went berserk and flooded the court before the game could officially end. It was crazy. Bill Russell -- who was actually playing on a broken foot -- got knocked on his ass. Satch Sanders had his jersey torn off his body. Orange juice containers were spilled all over the floor. In short: Bedlam.

The referees managed to get the fans off the court, for the most part, and restored a semblance of order. But the Celtics were in trouble. One Boston defender slipped on some orange juice and fell over, which allowed Jerry West to score a quick bucket. Mr. Clutch then stole the ball from Russell and scored again. Boston lost the ball on an offensive foul and L.A. scored again. The lead was down to four. Sam Jones, who was pretty clutch himself, got a case of the yips and bobbled a pass out of bounds. The Lakers had the ball back yet again, and their center, Leroy Ellis, hit a jumper to cut the Celtic lead to only two with four seconds left.

Auerbach must have been ready to strangle Volpe, governor or no.

But Russell inbounded the ball to K.C. Jones, who quickly dribbled around a cluster of L.A. defenders and flung the ball toward John Havlicek as time ran out. Boston 95, L.A. 93. Make it eight straight titles for the Celtics, and one final championship celebration for Red Auerbach.


The Boston police: When he finally left the Garden after his team's Game 7 victory, Red found a parking ticket under his car's windshield wiper. Auerbach shrugged it off, though, figuring that after all the good luck he'd had over the years, he could deal with a little bad luck. (And I'm guessing he never had to pay that ticket...)

The Auerbach Challenge, Epilogue: After the game, back in the comfort of his hotel room, Red had this to say to journalist Milton Gross: "If they were going to beat me, this was their shot. And they couldn't."

Sources: NBA.com, Wikipedia, Basketball-reference.com, Ever Green by Dan Shaughnessy, and The Rivalry by John Taylor.

Further reading: Go read my Lakers Versus Celtics: A Not-So-Brief History post at Deadspin.

Repost: The Worst of Celtics-Lakers Part 3

This is Part 3 of our The Worst of Celtics-Lakers series. And just like Return of the Jedi, this third championship meeting between the two teams was ruined by the presence of hundreds of Ewoks. Seriously.

1965 NBA Finals

The Grim Reaper: Walter A. Brown, the original owner of the Boston Celtics, died on September 7, 1964 at the relatively young age of 59. This meant that Brown missed out on watching his team set a franchise record for victories (62) and win their seventh consecutive league championship. He also missed Red Auerbach's first (and only) Coach of the Year award.

Regarding Brown, Tommy Heinsohn said: "Everybody loved Walt Brown. He was like your father. He didn't make any money. He savored life at the Garden. You went in to talk contract with Walter Brown. You'd walk into the men's room, and he's say, 'What do you want?' And you'd say, 'What do you want to give me?' And it would be back and forth, and by the time you zipped up, you had a deal."

By all accounts, Brown was one of the best and most generous owners the league has ever known. He sacrificed a lot to keep the Celtics going during some very difficult years. It's a damn shame he had to die when he did. Or ever, for that matter.

Fun fact: The NBA championship trophy was renamed in Brown's honor after his death. It remained the Walter A. Brown Trophy until the mid-80s. The trophy was similar to the Stanley Cup in that it was a bowl placed above engraved panels listing the previous championship teams. Furthermore, the trophy was kept by the winning team for one year and then given to the next championship team after the following finals.

The trophy was redesigned for the 1977 NBA Finals -- adopting it's current ball-on-a-cup form -- after which it was given permanently to the winning team. It retained the Walter A. Brown title until the 1984 NBA Finals, when the hardware was renamed to honor former NBA commissioner Larry O'Brien.

The big letdown: Just like in 1963, the Celtics had to survive a seven-game scare from Wilt Chamberlain -- now a member of the Philadelphia 76ers -- in order to make it to the NBA Finals. Game 7 of that divisional series was the famous "Havlicek stole the ball!" game, which of course has been immortalized in league history. With that classic series as the buildup, the 5-game Finals was sort of a disappointment. It was kind of like going to Olive Garden and filling up on breadsticks and then not really being able to enjoy your fettuccini alfredo. And seriously, that stuff is not good heated up.

Fun fact: Go back and watch the film. John Havlicek only tipped the ball; Sam Jones retrieved it and dribbled out the clock. So, technically speaking, Sam -- and not John -- stole it. But Johnny Most didn't scream "Sam stole the ball," so people still think Havlicek stole it in the same way some people think Christopher Columbus discovered the atomic bomb.

Injuries: Part of the reason that the Finals were so lopsided was that the Lakers didn't have Elgin Baylor. Poor Elg severely injured his knee in Game 1 of the Western Division Finals against the Baltimore Bullets. As Baylor put it: "I went up for a shot and my knee exploded. I could hear a crack and a pop and everything else." It was a devastating injury, and it left L.A. badly undermanned. Bummer, huh? Baylor rehabbed the hell out of his knee and -- against all odds -- was back in purple and gold the very next season...but he was never the same player.

The original Bruce Bowen: The Celtics obliterated the Lakers in Game 1, 142-110. And for the most part, that was because K.C. Jones put the clamps on Jerry West. K.C. held Mr. Clutch to one basket in the first quarter and stole the ball from him five times in the first half. West finished with a mortal 26 points. But Lakers coach Fred Shaus thought Jones' defense was a little too touchy-feely, and he was still crying foul years later. Said Shaus: "K.C. Jones used to tackle West rather than let him get off a jump shot." (Of course, West went off for 45 in Game 2 and 43 in Game 3, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say the officials protected The Logo from K.C.'s football tactics.)

Lakers fans: In a show of true Hollywood class and style, the L.A. crowd bombed Red Auerbach with cigars after the Lakers pulled off a 126-105 victory in Game 3. But it was better the cigars than what they really wanted to use: Bricks.

Oh, the humanity: The Celtics finished off the Lakers in a Game 5 mercy killing. Only without the "mercy" part. At one point, Boston went on a 20-0 run and eventually won 129-96. And it left William Felton Russell feeling strangely depressed. "We were not just beating this team. We were destroying it. It was my worst moment in sports. There was the horror of destruction, not the joy of winning. We knew -- and did not know -- we sensed, and did not completely comprehend, that we had taken sports out of the realm of the game." Uhm, okay, Mr. Russell. Whatever you say.

Satch Sanders, quote machine: Satch said it best when he said, simply that: "We were just kickin' ass and takin' names."

Red Auerbach: Tommy "Gun" Heinsohn had announced that he would retire after the 1964-65 season, his ninth in the league, in order to take a full-time position at the insurance company for which he worked during the offseason (Heinsohn claimed later that he made more money selling insurance than he did playing basketball.) For reasons known only to himself, Auerbach barely played Heinsohn in the final game, even though the Celtics were in control the entire way. Near the end of the game, he casually asked Heinsohn if he wanted back in -- as if he was doing the guy a favor -- and Tommy said "no." The incident stung Heinsohn's pride (and I'm guessing Red didn't get any Tommy Points that night), but it also epitomized Auerbach's philosophy as a coach and as a person: Winning is everything; sentiment is nothing.

Sources: NBA.com, Wikipedia, Basketball-reference.com, Ever Green by Dan Shaughnessy, and The Rivalry by John Taylor.

Repost: The Worst of Celtics-Lakers Part 2

This is Part 2 of our The Worst of Celtics-Lakers series. It's a decent sequel, I think. Not quite Ghostbusters II, but close. Wait...I should probably rethink that comparison...

1963 NBA Finals

Getting it wrong, Part I: In march of 1963, some big, throbbing brain at Sports Illustrated ensured himself a place in the Stupid Quotes Hall of Fame when he wrote that: "The Boston Celtics are an old team. Tired blood courses through their varicose veins." Which was a pretty off-the-wall viewpoint considering the five-time champions finished the season with the best record in the league (58-22) -- five games better than the second-place Lakers.

Oh, and those old, tired legs ran up 118.8 PPG (third in the league) while allowing only 111.6 PPG (second in the league). And their point differential (7.2) was easily tops in the NBA. What's more, seven players averaged in double-figures and Bill Russell was the league MVP for the third straight season. So I think the real issue was simply that SI -- and probably a lot of other people -- were tired of watching the Celtics win year after year after year.

Fun fact: It wasn't just the sports writers and their opponents who were getting tired of Boston's wining ways; their fans were too! Regular-season attendance dropped to 6,800 per game, which means there were about 8,000 empty seats in the Boston Garden every night. Wow. I guess back in the 60s, winning just wasn't enough. Ah, if only Bill Russell had been white.

Bob Cousy, quote machine. The Cooz appeared on The Mike Wallace Show and Wallace asked him how he dealt with playoff pressure. Cousy said, completely seriously, "Well, I go to the toilet much more often." Well, at least he was properly hydrated.

Bold predictions, Part I: Red Auerbach and his victory cigar made a lot of enemies back in the day. Oh, and the fact that he and his team spent the better part of a decade and a half kicking everybody's ass didn't win him many friends, either. A rival coach once had this to say about the cigar-smoking curmudgeon: "At first I didn't like Red Auerbach. But in time I grew to hate him."

Hate never daunted Red, though. He fed off of it. Well, that and the blood of his enemies. And the man had no fear -- except for grizzly bears, and who can blame him? -- which is probably why he gave the Lakers some bulletin board material after the Celtics won Game 4 in L.A. to take a 3-1 series lead. Said Auerbach: "We've never lost three games in a row."

That's the kind of statement that would get you in trouble if you were, say, Tracy McGrady. Of course, this was Red Auerbach, so it turned out to be true. Eventually.

The Celtics in Game 5: Red's plus-sized mouth got muzzled in Game 5, which his team lost at home due to a series of unfortunate events. Tommy Heinsohn got himself ejected. Bob Cousy fouled out after scoring only 12 points. And the Celtics had no defensive answers for Elgin Baylor (43 points) and Jerry West (32 points) as Los Angeles kept their playoff hearts beating with a 126-119 victory.

Getting it wrong, Part II: The media was as obsessed with Boston's composite age as Marilyn Monroe's suicide and the Cuban Missle Crisis. (Yes, those events happened during the 1962-63 season. Wild, huh?) After the rotten egg the Celtics had laid in Game 5, everybody was predicting the crusty leprechauns would disintegrate into dust under the Lakers' youthful feet. Good call, collective media!

Fun fact: I guess "old age" meant something completely different in the 60s. Sure, The Cooz was 34, but Sam Jones (29), Heinsohn (28) and Bill Russell (28) were all in their primes, and the Celtics even had a young crackerjack rookie named John Havlicek (22) on the team. As Cousy put it: "We are not the oldest men alive."

Bold predictions, Part II: With the media carving the letters on his team's tombstone, Bill Russell openly scoffed at the notion that the Lakers had taken control of the series and were going to overtake his Celtics. Said Russell: "No. Los Angeles is not going to do any such thing." That's a pretty ballsy thing to say, and he backed it up. But still.

Lakers fans: Man, those dudes were a combustible bunch even in the 1960s. Prior to Game 6, a 5,000-person horde descended on the Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena to buy playoff tickets. When they found there weren't any available, the "fans" transformed into an angry, yelling mob. The situation fell just short of the pitchfork-and-torches treatment only after the Lakers offered to show the game on closed-circuit TV for $2.50 per person. So much for The Age of Aquarius, huh?

Jerry West: The Logo missed the final seven weeks of the regular season due to a hamstring injury, and it certainly limited his effectiveness in the playoffs. But his hammy wasn't to blame for his biggest boner of the of Game 7: With 2:48 remaining and the Lakers down only two points, West tried to force a pass to Rudy LaRusso. The pass was stolen by Tommy Heinsohn, who took it the other way for an easy bucket. That play killed the Lakers momentum and all but broke their will. A couple minutes later, Cousy dribbled out the clock on a 112-109 win and another Celtics championship. I'm guessing that's one pass Mr. Clutch would like to have back.

Red Auerbach, quote machine: In honor of Lakers owner Bob Short and the team's successful move to The City of Angels, the NBA staged the 1963 All-Star Game in Los Angeles. The day of the game, Short held a luncheon that featured plenty of back-patting and glad-handing, as well as a program that proclaimed L.A. to be the "Basketball Capital of the World." Too bad for Short that he had invited Red to speak at the event, right after Lakers coach Fred Shaus. And this is what Red had to say: "I suppose you people expect me to make some more nice chitchat like Shaus. You're a bunch of bushers. That goes for the club, the fans, and all the writers." Red held up the program and continued: "I come here today, and I see this -- it's ridiculous! What do you people think this is? Win a couple championships first, then talk about being the basketball capital of the world. Right now, the basketball capital is Boston. And it's gonna stay in Boston for a long time!"

It was against that backdrop that, after the Celtics finished off the Lakers in Game 6, Red said to the press: "Please tell me some of these stories about Los Angeles being the basketball capital of the world." Ah, Red...always the gracious winner.

Bill Russell, quote machine: While not quite as acerbic as his feisty coach, Russ made his own subtle dig to the assembled media: "It's nice to be playing with the old pros. The old, old pros."

Party pooping: After winning their fifth straight title -- and sixth in seven years -- the Celtics didn't break out beer or champagne. In fact, it would have taken an electron microscope to even find a trace of emotion in the Boston locker room, despite the fact that Cooz had played his final game. Said Heinsohn: "Why celebrate? We've won five in a row." Added Havlicek (years later): "We won, and I think people expected us to win. We had a breakup dinner, and we were gone within a day or two."

Wordiosity: While the Celtics were pretty ho-hum about their latest title, the Boston media wasn't. Grantland Rice, the great sports writer/poet, wrote the following: "With a farewell performance of supreme virtuosity, Cooz, the Magnificent, had led his Boston Celtics to a fifth straight championship. Thus did the Celtic captain complete his playing days on the triumphant note he deserved, still a champion among champions." Jeez, Grantland. If you wanted to sleep with The Cooz so badly, you could have just tried asking him.

Sources: NBA.com, Wikipedia, Basketball-reference.com, Ever Green by Dan Shaughnessy, and The Rivalry by John Taylor.