Worst of Game 4 of the 2011 NBA Finals: Dirk's Flu Game edition

The Miami cHeat: In the BAD comments, AnacondaHL said: "Tomorrow's post could just be an in-depth play-by-play of the last 5 minutes." We'll start with a basic play-by-play of Miami's offensive possessions over the final six minutes and 50 seconds:

6:50: Chris Bosh missed 18-footer
6:05: Bosh missed 18-footer
5:15: Bosh turnover
4:48: Dwyane Wade turnover
4:18: Mike Miller turnover
3:33: Miller missed three-pointer
2:59: Wade missed three-pointer
2:25: LeBron James missed 17-footer
2:25: Miller offensive rebound
2:17: Miller missed layup
2:16: Wade loose ball foul
1:53: Bosh 2-for-2 from the line
1:09: Haslem misses jumper
0:30: Wade 1-for-2 from the line (missed tying free throw)
0:09: Wade dunk
0:01: Miller airballed desperation three-pointer

To sum up: missed jumper, missed jumper, turnover, turnover, turnover, missed jumper, missed jumper, missed jumper, missed layup, two made free throws, missed jumper, one made free throw, dunk, missed jumper.

Remember: Miami's offense feature two of the top five players on the planet. And another All-Star to boot.

Also remember: LeBron James is either the Next Michael Jordan or destined to be even greater. Speaking of which...

LeBron James: Remember how Jason Terry's trash talk was supposed to "fuel the Heat's fire"? And how, when Terry questioned whether LeBron could consistently shut him down in the fourth quarter over seven games, Bosh said:

"You have to let sleeping dogs lie sometimes. It's motivation. For us, it is an opportunity to not let up. Guys are talking and it fuels you.

"If he wants LeBron to turn it up then that's great motivation for LeBron," Bosh said. "Guys remember that when we're out on the floor. LeBron is going to remember that late in the game when it is close and Terry is going to try to get going. LeBron is going to guard him and we'll see who comes out on top."

Well then.

From ESPN Stats and Information:

One of the big storylines heading into Game 4 was the comments made by Jason Terry and how LeBron James would guard him in the fourth quarter. Terry backed up his talk and nearly outscored the Heat's Big Three by himself down the stretch. Terry had eight points in the final quarter and didn't turn the ball over while Wade, James and Bosh combined for nine points and five turnovers.

LeBron had eight points and it was the first time in his 90 career playoff games that he was held to single-digit points. His teams are now 0-7 when he scores 15 points or fewer in a postseason game. James attempted just one shot in the fourth quarter and failed to score despite playing all 12 minutes. This is just the second time he's failed to score in the final period of any playoff game.

Dirk's dominating performance and LeBron's disappearing act in the fourth quarter this game continues a trend from the entire series. Nowitzki has now outscored James 44-9 in the final period while making as many field goals as James has attempted while making six times as many free throws.

LeBron's final line: 46 minutes, 3-for-11, 8 points, 9 rebouns, 7 assists, 2 steals, 4 turnovers, 4 fouls, -6. And, of course, that big old goose egg in the fourth quarter.

Said Bosh: "He struggled. Point blank, period."

Continued LeBron: "I've got to do a better job of being more assertive offensively. I'm confident in my ability. It's just about going out there and knocking them down."

Added cHeat coach Erik Spoelstra: "We'll have to look at the film. Obviously we would like to get him involved. He's a very important piece to what we do. So we'll work to help make it easier for him next game."

Wait, what? Miami's coaching staff needs to look at the film to get LeBron James more involved in the team's offense?

Anyway, back to...

The Miami cHeat: I highlighted the final 6:50, but check out Miami's fourth quarter totals: 14 points on 5-for-15 shooting (33 percente) with 6 turnovers. LeBron went scoreless. Bosh went 8-for-12 in the first half but only 1-for-7 over the final 24 minutes, and he clanked consecutive jump shots down the stretch. Wade missed a freebie that would have tied the game with half a minute to go.

Then, after Terry knocked down two free throws with 6.7 seconds left to put Dallas up 86-83, Spoelstra called a 20-second timeout to get possession in the frontcourt. Miller inbounded to D-Wade, but Wade (who was curling around a screen) took his eyes off the ball and it bobbled off his hands. Pookie barely managed to recover the ball and fling it to Miller for what may have been the crappiest and most hopeless last second shot attempt I've ever seen in a Finals game: A 30-footer over Tyson Chandler while falling out of bounds.


Said Wade: "I saw an opening. Mike threw the ball and I was trying to get to the opening, probably before I caught it. That's how I lost it. Obviously I would love to have that play back. We would love to have a lot of plays back."

Another fourth quarter collapse. And this is a trend, folks.

Jeff Fogle of Hoopdata writes:

Let's take a look at the final six minutes from each of the four games played so far. That will give us a 24-minute "half" of basketball we can use for a crunch time comparison.

FINAL 6 MINUTE "SCORES" IN EACH GAME:
Game One: Miami 17, Dallas 15
Game Two: Dallas 20, Miami 5
Game Three: Dallas 12, Miami 7
Game Four: Dallas 11, Miami 7

Total: Dallas 58, Miami 36

How's that for a "halftime score?!" Let that register for a minute. Dallas is up 22 points IN CRUNCH TIME, putting points on the board consistently against a defense that now, suddenly, isn't looking so scary. And, Miami should be pretty humiliated that they just popped 5, 7, and 7 points in the final six minutes of the last three games. It took a huge first game just to get them to 36! Dallas is up 43-19 in the final six minutes of action during the last three games.

Some people are citing fatigue, which sounds reasonable considering the Nazgul keep logging 40+ minutes a game. But then how do you explain Dirk's 44 fourth quarter points over four games? Nowitzki's logging epic minutes, too, and he scored 10 points down the stretch last night despite a sinus infection and a reported fever of 101 degrees.

By the way, during these Finals, Dallas is now +30 when Dirk is on the floor and -35 when he's not. With all due respect to Henry Abbott and Rick Reilly, in my humble opinion, the MVP of the playoffs so far is seven feet tall and blond.


Dwyane Wade: Pookie was Miami's player of the game (32 points, 13-for-20, 6 rebounds) but he bricked three freebies -- including one that would have tied the game -- and blew the final play of the game to hell. As stephanie g pointed out: "LeBron looked like a big armless Rondo out there and Marion is arguably outplaying him for the series, or at least playing him to a draw. All the same, imagine if LeBron missed a critical freethrow and had butter fingers on the inbound pass like Wade did."

Three-point shooting: Clink. Clank. Clunk. Dallas went 4-for-19 from downtown and Miami was 2-for-14. The two starting lineups combined to go 0-for-13. Is fatigue setting in on both sides? Sure looks like it.

Peja Stojakovic: His NBA Finals minutes were stolen by...Brian Cardinal.

Wow.

Brendan Haywood: How poorly did he play in his three-minute stint? His only stat was one foul committed and the Mavs were outscored by 10 points while he was on the floor, prompting Tyson Chandler to jump up and ask Dallas coach Rick Carlisle to be subbed back in.

Said Chandler: "I told Coach, 'You have to get me back out there, I will play 48 (minutes) if I need to.'"

Speaking of Chandler...

Tyson Chandler: We call this an ego-ectomy:


LeBron James, flop machine: Didn't James Harden get crucified for shenanigans like this? Memo to LeBron: You're too good for theatrics like this.


Dirk Nowitzki, quote machine, Part 1: "Just battle it out. This is the finals. You have to go out there and compete and try your best for your team. So that's what I did."

Dirk Nowtizki, quote machine, Part 2: "There's no long term. I'll be alright on Thursday. ... Hopefully I'll get some sleep tonight, take some meds and be ready to go on Thursday."

Tyson Chandler, quote machine: "The average person, you know, has sick days and battling 100-something (fever), it's just tough to get out of bed. This guy is playing against the best athletes in the world."

Chris Bosh, quote machine: "There is not an illness report before the game or anything. I've never been out there and somebody pointed and said, 'He's got a fever!' "

Erik Spoelstra, quote machine: "This series is a jump ball. These guys live for these type of moments. It's about execution and disposition in the fourth quarter, being able to close out. We have a golden opportunity in the next game."

Jason Terry, quote machine: "The aggression was there for me personally. And I like that, that I was on the attack, which I said I would be. But as far as that relating into baskets, it didn't really happen for me."

Brian Cardinal, quote machine, Part 1: From TrueHoop: "It's The King vs. The Custodian! It's an unbelievable player against ... me."

Brian Cardinal, quote machine, Part 2: Also from TrueHoop: "[The Custodian is] a nickname from back in the day. Now I'm just happy if people call me Brian."

Chris' NBA Finals Lacktion Report: Brendan Haywood hobbled his way to a foul in 185 seconds, earning a +1 suck differential and a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl. Fellow Texan Peja Stojakovic had only two seconds of playing time for a celebratory Super Mario!

Worst of Game 3 of the 2011 NBA Finals: National Day of Sadness edition

The Dallas Mavericks: Well. The upper hand is on the other foot. Again.

One game after stealing homecourt advantage from the cHeat, the Mavericks gave it right back. Fortunately, Mark Cuban has more than enough money to repair all the holes he probably punched into his walls last night.

Game 3 was an awful lot like Game 2.

Miami built a 14-point advantage. Dallas came back.

The cHeat led 81-74 after Dwyane Wade hit a shot with 6:31 left and 84-78 after Wade drilled a three with 4:31 left.

LeBron "Attack Mode" James didn't play very Next Michael Jordan-y (17 points, 6-for-14, 9 assists, 4 turnovers) while Dirk Nowitzki looked pretty Next Larry Bird-y (game-high 34 points, 11-for-21, 9-for-9 from the line 11 rebounds). This was even more apparent down the stretch: LeBron scored only 2 points in the fourth quarter while Nowitzki had 15...including 12 straight to lead a Dallas rally.

Make that an almost rally.

Because King Crab had help in Pookie (7 of his team-high 29 in the fourth) and the Boshtrich (7 fourth quarter points including the go-ahead jumper with 39 seconds left). Meanwhile, Dirk found out that one really is the loneliest number.

How critical has Nowitzki been in the Finals? According to Jeff Fogle of Hoopdata: "In the 20 minutes that Dirk Nowitzki has been on the bench resting during the NBA Championships, the Dallas Mavericks have been outscored by 31 points. In the 124 minutes that he played, Dallas has outscored the Miami Heat by 23 points. As strong as Miami has looked earning a big riding time advantage through three games, they're WAY down when Dirk is on the floor."

Wow. Dirk has had to do almost everything. And he almost did.

Almost.

Unfortunately for Mavs fans and cHeat haters, Nowitzki's personal 12-point run ended when he dished to Jason Terry for an open jumper with 58 seconds left. Terry missed and the score remained tied. Then, 19 seconds later, James dished to Bosh, and the RuPaul of Big Men hit to put Miami up a deuce.


On Dallas' next possession, Udonis Haslem's defense finally got to Dirk, and Nowitzki threw the ball out of bounds. James bricked a three with four seconds left and Dirk's forced jumper at the buzzer was off the mark.

Game over.

The Dallas players who weren't seven feet and blond went 17-for-49 from the field (36 percent). Shawn Marion (10 points, 4-for-12) was the only starter other than Dirk to reach double figures. Tyson Chandler shot 1-for-4 and finished with 5 points in 40 minutes. Jason Kidd had 9 points on 3-for-8 shooting. DeShawn Stevenson scored 3 points in 14 minutes.

Jason Terry chipped in 15 points off the bench, but he went scoreless (0-for-4) in the final 12 minutes. And J.J. Barea (6 points, 2-for-8, 1-for-5 on threes) was outplayed by Mario Chalmers (12 points, 4-for-6 on threes...including one that shouldn't have counted). This is a trend that may be killing he Mavericks.

From TrueHoop:

Through their march to the Finals, the Mavericks have been able to create vast acres of space in their offense by covering the floor with shooters. Few NBA players know how to exploit open space better than Jose Juan Barea, a good shooter who loves nothing more than to juke his man on the perimeter, put the ball on the floor, and sail into the wide open spaces of the Dallas offense.

From there, he has an array of floaters, runners and jumpers that are more than enough to get the job done.

Barea has been pretty bad against Miami, however. That's because when the Miami defense is loaded up with athletes like Chalmers spaces don't last long. Somebody long and strong is always rushing to fill the gap.

Barea has taken 23 shots over the Finals first three games. 18 missed. It's big letdown for a player who had made 51 of 117 playoff shots in the first three rounds. Watching Chalmers fight over picks to stay with Barea it's easy to see why he's finding space at a premium.

Over the course of a season, or a career, Chalmers and Barea are not so different -- decent NBA players who can hit open shots but hurt their teams if they try to do too much. Both players have career production a tick or two below average, with the slightly older Barea generally the more efficient of the two.

But in these Finals, whether by luck or quality of opposing defense, Chalmers has been the much more efficient shot maker. Barea has scored 13 points on 23 shots, while Chalmers has taken one fewer shot, but has scored 20 more points, with 33 points on 22 shots over the first three games.

Chalmers and Barea are bit players in this drama, but bit players who happen to be performing very differently in the final playoff series of the year. In a series that is turning on a point or two here or there -- the Heat have outscored the Mavericks by a total of eight points over the three games -- these are little things that matter.

Getting back to the fourth quarter, it may be worth comparing relative contributions to the Dallas cause. Nowitzki scored 15 points while going 4-for-7 from the field and 6-for-6 from the line. His teammates scored 7 points on 3-for-11 shooting.

After the game, Kidd stated the obvious: "We have to have somebody step up besides Dirk. We have to figure out how to get up front and play up front. The big thing is we've got to be able to make plays late in the game. Game 2 we made the plays, Game 3 we just didn't."

Dallas won the rebounding battle (42-36) but got outscored 40-22 in the paint and gave up 19 points off 14 turnovers.

Miami's two-point win also benefitted from a triple that should not have been.


Naturally, the announcing team got it wrong. As Kelly Dwyer of Ball Don't Lie explains:

The Dallas Mavericks and their fans can point to quite a few reasons for the team's two-point, 88-86 loss to the Miami Heat in Game 3 of the NBA Finals. The team missed five free throws, shot 40 percent, turned the ball over 18 times [14 actually - Bawful], and clanged a series of solid three-point looks down the stretch. But Miami guard Mario Chalmers' buzzer-beating three to end the first quarter, one that should have been disallowed as Chalmers' foot was technically in the back court as he caught the ball, will sting the hardest.

The half court stripe is considered part of the back court, and the referees missed the fact that Chalmers had his heel on the line when he took the pass from Udonis Haslem in the front court. The rule is that you must be considered fully in the front court before you can receive a pass from the front court, and Chalmers' foot was still in the back court when he caught the ball. That's a lot of "courts" to consider, but all Mavs fans will look at is that two-point deficit on the scoreboard as the final buzzer sounded, while ruing the three-points that shouldn't have counted.

That bogus three-bomb capped a nightmare first quarter for the Mavericks. Basketbawful reader Factfinder said: "I bet Dallas wishes they could go back and contest all of those easy buckets they gave to Wade and Bron in the 1st quarter." Make that Wade, Bron and Bosh. Those three guys combined to convert seven dunks/layups in the first 12 minutes. Seven! In the first quarter of a Finals game!

Somewhere Bill Laimbeer is throwing up.

Chris Bosh denied: I'd be more gleeful about this if Dallas had won.


Jason Terry, quote machine: "A lot of my looks are contested, but hey, it’s the NBA Finals and they're going to contest every shot. And hey, we have to be more and more aggressive, and we'll see what happens."

J.J. Barea, quote machine: "I think had some open looks, especially [some] 3s, and they felt great and some were long and some were short. They just didn't go down for me. I'm going to keep shooting them. This team needs me to make shots, and everybody needs to make open shots, and we kinda struggled with that tonight."

Dwyane Wade, quote machine: "My teammates saw it. They can tell I wanted this game. ... I'm just trying to lead. My guys did a great job of following that lead."

Chris Bosh, quote machine, Part 1: "Open your eye like this. I'll poke you in it."

Chris Bosh, quote machine, Part 2: "I think [getting poked in the eye was] just symbolic of our season, everything. You just have to keep overcoming. If you lose Game 2 at home, blow a 15-point lead and you're out on the road and everything is against you, you have to get it done. I thought it was quite fitting that I got poked in the eye early."

Erik Spoelstra, quote machine: "There's so many storylines out there right now, the Game 3, all these trends and statistics. To simplify it for all of you, the game is not played in a statistical world. It is played between those four lines and 94 feet. Whoever plays the best and more consistent to their identity likely has the best chance to win."

LeBron James, quote machine: Total smackdown.


Chris' Finals Lacktion Ledger: Ian Mahinmi made two free throws in exactly eight minutes along with one board, only to foul five times for a 5:3 Voskuhl. Meanwhile, when your uber-short-stint-of-the-night is noted by the ABC commentating staff, it's clear lacktion has gone mainstream, in the case of Brian Cardinal -- whose 7 seconds of plugging in a DS to its charger at the end of the 2nd quarter garnered a Super Mario.

Worst of the Playoff Night: The cHeat Finally Break Through edition

Fate really kicked the Bulls in the man region last night.
Finally.

At long last.

After what feels like an entire year of fruitless effort and unending heartbreak, the turbulent ups and downs, the many times when it looked like they might never make it, the Miami cHeat have finally broken through.

This isn't merely a story. It's a saga. An odyssey. An epic tale of unwavering bravery and endurance in the face of staggering inequity and stunning odds.

Said Miami coach Erik Spoelstra: "We had to go through a lot of adversity. That struggle that we went through in March, where we lost five straight -- all of them close games, where we didn't execute down the stretch and weren't able to close games out -- that helped us. As painful as that was, we had to go through that fire together to be able to gain the confidence where we could be successful now in the postseason."

Normally, when human beings walk through fire, they get burned to a smoldering crisp. But not these cHeat. Oh no. Truly, from the ashes of doubt and hate, never has a Phoenix metaphor been more personified!

Added Wade: "It just seems like yesterday we were coming together as a new unit, and the Miami organization decided we needed to get away and (have) it just be about us and not let any outside distractions get in. And it was just about us."

It really does seem like only yesterday, doesn't it?

But the truth is this story stretches all the way back to last October. Nature did not create mortal man to survive the eight months of agonized waiting these cHeat have endured. They are more god than man. When the sun's light has faded and human life has been nearly extinguished from the desolate surface of a dying world, still shall the minstrels sing of the great light that shone forth from the asses of these men on this holy day!


You want pain? You want suffering? Look at the soul-wrenching anguish LeBron experienced when Derrick Rose ruthlessly swiped at the air in front of him:


Fortunately, the officials saw fit to reward LeBron's Job-like suffering with a foul before bloody stigmata could form on his mighty wrists. Truly is he the Chosen One. And, like a Messiah, he is met with unreasoning hate.

How much longer must this be so?

Said King Crab: "What's today's date -- the 26th? I say we've got about a month left. About a month left of continued hate. We'll see what happens next year."

No one has been more spiteful toward the cHeat than Sir Charles Barkley, Lord of Hate and Dark Despair, Weaver of Shadow and Spreader of Deceit.

Said Barkley: "These athletes today are all wussified. I've been saying LeBron's been the best player in the league for three years. And I say one thing criticizing The Decision, and I get a phone call from Nike saying why don't I like LeBron? It's interesting how this (expletive) works. These groups today, if you don't say 100 percent positive about their guy or their team, they overreact."

Don't believe his lies.

If you don't think this is divine providence, then you need to go buy a dictionary, look up "divine" and "providence," and then jam them together. From ESPN Stats and Information:

Including the regular season, the Chicago Bulls were 53-0 when leading by double-digits in the fourth quarter. So, with only 3:14 remaining in Game 5, and the Bulls leading by 12 points a win appeared all but certain.

The Miami Heat had other plans though, finishing the game on an 18-3 run to advance to the NBA Finals for the second time in franchise history.

According to 10,000 simulations done by Accuscore.com, the Heat had just a 1 percent chance of winning the game with 3:14 remaining.

Just like it's been all season, the "Big Three" for Miami were at the center of it all, scoring 69 of the team's 83 points, including the last 33.

It wasn't all good for the trio though; through three quarters they combined for as many field goals as turnovers (13).

The main culprit was Dwyane Wade, who committed nine turnovers to tie his playoff career-high and the franchise playoff record.

However, along with LeBron James, the pair came alive scoring 22 points in the final frame, while connecting on their last six field goal attempts, three of which came from behind the 3-point line.

LeBron isn't just a Majestic King and Basketball Messiah, mind you, he's a prophet. Remember his sage Tweet: "Crazy. Karma is a b****. Gets you every time. Its [sic] not good to wish bad on anybody. God sees everything!"

Karma was indeed bitchy to Derrick Rose, who pulled off the crime of the century by stealing LeBron's 2011 MVP award. In retribution, Karma punked Rose into 9-for-29 shooting and 5 turnovers in the biggest game of his life. Fittingly, Chicago's last shot of the season was Rose getting stuffed by James on the game's final play:


Said Rose: "At the end, it's all me. Turnovers, missed shots, fouls. The series is over."

Karma also benched Carlos Boozer and Joakim Noah for the entire fourth quarter. Would anyone have ever guessed that Keith Bogans would see more PT in winning time than Boozer and Noah? But it was written in the Book of Time.

Probably by LeBron.

This wasn't just a victory for LeBron, or the cHeat, or the city of Miami, or the long-suffering cHeat fans who have struggled though a five-year championship drought, it was a victory for the American way of life. In a fast food culture full of armchair cynics who eschew personal accountability and demand instant gratification, these cHeat can be a moral exemplar, a throwback if you will to an earlier time in which hard work and perseverance really can pay off over time if you just stick with something and put the needs of other ahead of your own.

Joakim Noah, quote machine: Three words: "Hollywood as hell."


Pat Riley, quote machine: "You can see that we have two, three players that have no fear. Chris steps up there and makes two free throws that he's got to make. LeBron and Dwyane struggling a little bit with their game most of the night, but they made some big, big shots.That's what it's all about."

Dwyane Wade, quote machine: "We don't even know what happened. I'm not going to lie to you and say we do. I can't remember all the plays. I just remember the timeout, and Coach just looked at us and said, 'We've done this before. We've been in games where we've gone on a 12-0 or 14-0 run. Just believe.' We came out of that timeout believing if we get stops, we can give ourselves an opportunity. That's all I remember."

Taj Gibson, quote machine: "[Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau] was basically saying his thing -- 'score, stop, score.' We had a good lead. It was all about getting stops and who could close it out. But then we really couldn't get any stops and the momentum grew."

Kurt Thomas, quote machine: "They hit some tough shots, step-back 3s, runners, you can't take anything away from them. They know how to put the ball in the hole and they showed it. I don't think I've ever experienced that. It seemed like they just hit one big shot after another. I thought we had a nice lead there, and it just slipped away. We let a golden opportunity get away."

Ronnie Brewer, quote machine: "We wanted [James] to take contested 2s, contested 3s. I guess you have to limit him but he stepped up and he willed his team to victory."

Worst of the Playoff Night: _allas is _efeated edition

Let's talk numbers.

The Thunder score 106 points on 55.7 percent shooting.

They scored those 106 points in 88 possessions, giving them an Offensive Efficiency of 120.5 points per 100 possessions.

Their accuracy from three-point range (7-for-18) pushed their Effective Field Goal Percentage to 60.7 percent and their foul shooting (21-for-26) put their True Shooting Percentage at 65.1 percent.

Can you say "sizzling"?

Hoopdata (as always) broke Oklahoma City's shooting down by zone: 12-for-14 (85.8 percent) at the rim, 6-for-12 (50 percent) from 3-9 feet, 4-for-6 (66.7 percent) from 10-15 feet and 10-for-20 (50 percent) from 16-23 feet.

According to Eddie Sefko of The Dallas Morning News: "The Western Conference finals is tied at 1-1 after the Thunder exploited the Mavericks for 55.7 percent shooting. Only once in the regular season did the Mavericks allow better shooting -- in a 103-89 loss Jan. 17 at Detroit."

Wow. Two distinct levels of fail there. The Pistons? Really? But I digress.

Said Tyson Chandler: "I know guys are going to be upset and come back and have a better game in Game 3. Oklahoma City got hot and made shots. But you can't allow a team to shoot 54 percent. There were so many defensive errors out there. To me, it's just a lack of concentration and we're playing for too much to have that right now."

And how about that Thunder bench, eh? The OKC reserves scored 50 points on 16-for-23 shooting to go with 17 rebounds, 7 assists, 3 steals and 2 blocked shots. And check out the productivity: Nazr Mohammed (+5 in two minutes), Daequan Cook (+11 in 16 minutes), Eric Maynor (+18 in 20 minutes), Nick Collison (+10 in 26 minutes) and James Harden (+14 in 32 minutes).

And the Thunder's crunch time lineup consisted of Harden, Maynor, Collison, Cook and Kevin Durant. And that shit worked.

Said Durant: "We had a good start to the fourth quarter. You can't mess that chemistry up. Coach made a good decision by doing that."

Added Nowitzki: "Their reserves came out swinging and really took it to us. We were never really ready for their reserves."

Wait. How can you be "not ready" for Eric Maynor and Daequan Cook?

Said Harden: "Eric made some great plays. Daequan made some big shots. Kevin did what he did. Nick played some great defense. I just tried to find my spots and make shots as well."

That he did. Harden -- who, it recently came out, was Danny Ainge's true target in the Kendrick Perkins trade -- scored 10 points on 4-for-5 shooting in the fourth quarter.

Still, it doesn't matter whether Harden or Russell Westbrook is in the game: _allas nee_s to _o something about their _efense.

Said Mavs coach Rick Carlisle: "The defensive end is what we've got to solve. Scoring 100 points in a playoff game should be enough to win. Not if you're giving up 106, 112."

Seriously.

I quoted various shooting stats above. Here's another from ESPN Stats and Information: "The Thunder scored 26 points on jump shots in half-court sets during Game 1, accounting for 23.2 percent of their total points. In Game 2, Oklahoma City scored 50 points on jump shots in half-court sets -- 47.2 percent of the Thunder's total points."

Of course, in all fairness to the Mavericks, the Thunder were white hot from everywhere and will likely regress to the mean in Game 3. But one smokin' game was enough for them to steal the homecourt advantage.

Said Carlisle: "Sometimes you get your butt kicked. You've got to take it like a man. Hey, we've got to respond."

Rick Carlisle: Jennifer Floyd Engel of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram blames not the _efense but the _allas coach for this loss:

The Dunk and The Beard and The Miss all had a hand in dooming the Mavericks in Game 2 of the West Finals.

What eventually led to OKC 106, Mavs 100, though, was The Idiocy.

No acceptable explanation exists for why Dirk Nowitzki only took two shots in the third quarter.

Two bleeping shots.

He did not have a single point in the third quarter, which is a sure sign of adjustment/point guard/coaching/all around Mavs fail. It was not as if OKC was doing a great job on Dirk, or even a good one.

They just were not forced to do any job at all on him for 12 minutes.

And if proof were somehow needed of this, in the fourth, when Dallas started again feeding him on trip after trip, he jumped in exactly where he left off in Game 1.

Killing OKC.

Just like in Game 1, OKC had absolutely no answer for The White Mamba or Dirty Dirk or The Big German, for my fans who prefer to keep nicknames old-school and consistent.

So did he get enough touches?

"Yeah, I thought he got enough touches" a testy Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle said before reversing direction and launching into a tirade against his defense.

I beg to differ, Rick. Seventeen shots is not enough for Dirk, not in a loss, not when Kevin Durant has 23, especially not coming off of his 48-point dominance in Game 1.

Feed your beast. And once Dirk became re-introduced, Game 2 suddenly went double D and I am not talking about crowd eye candy.

I guess I see where Engel is coming from. Although by suggesting that the Mavs' problem was that they didn't outscore a team that was shooting lights out feels a little Lawler's Law-y to me. I still think the problem was the _efense.

Kendrick Perkins, quote machine: "Me and Tyson never got along. He don't like me and I don't like him. That's pretty much how it's been. Everybody always looks at me as kind of a dirty player, if you're on the opposite team. But he's just as dirty as anybody else."

Chris' Playoff Lacktion Report: Nazr Mohammed monied up a 1.55 trillion (93 seconds)...while Brendan Haywood negated a 100% shooting percentage (on one attempt) and board with 4 fouls in 7:57 to earn a 4:3 Voskuhl. And Ian Mahinmi fouled twice in 71 seconds for a +2 and a 2:0 Voskuhl.

Worst of the Playoff Night: Bulls Blew Chunks edition

How bad were the Bulls last night? I'll let Jamaal Magloire answer that:


Sigh.

It was just that kind of night.

The Heat beat the Bulls on the boards and they beat them up. For example:


Miami forced Chicago to shoot 34.1 percent from the field. The Heat packed the paint and willingly gave up open threes. The Bulls capitulated but couldn't convert, going 3-for-20 from downtown. They also missed 10 free throws

It was like the chunk of their brains that controls shooting was taken out and replaced with Michael Bolton's Jack Sparrow song. Which, while totally awesome, doesn't contribute much to putting a ball in a basket.

Check out these ugly numbers: Derrick Rose (7-for-23, 0-for-3 on threes), Carlos Boozer (3-for-10), Luol Deng (5-for-15, 1-for-7 on threes), Kyle Korver (1-for-7, 1-for-5 on threes). Let's face it, those are the Bulls' shooters/scorers. And Boozer, Deng and Rose combined for 8 of Chicago's 10 turnovers. Every time Deng tried to drive baseline, he got the ball stripped.

Rose tried to set up his teammates, and he finished with eight assists, but guys weren't hitting. From ESPN Stats and Information: "Derrick Rose couldn't find his shooting rhythm, and when he created shots for his teammates, they too struggled to convert chances into points. Starting frontcourt Carlos Boozer and Luol Deng had a hard time converting Rose's passes, as the two forwards combined to shoot 2 of 9 (four points) off passes by Rose, and sharpshooter Kyle Korver missed all four of his chances created by the league MVP."

With homecourt advantage on the line, the Bulls mustered only 10 points in the fourth quarter and finished with a playoff-low 75 points.

The Bulls weren't much better on the other end. LeBron James (29 points, 12-for-21) and Dwyane Wade (24 points, 8-for-16, 8-for-10 at the line) did whatever they wanted, and King Crab hit four clutch hoops down the stretch, including a three-pointer with 4:28 left that broke a 73-73 tie and put the Heat in total control. Chicago scored only two more points the rest of the way.

Said Chicago coach Tom Thibodeau: "We played a low-energy offense, a low-energy defense and the result was not good."

He's got that right.

And, hell, I haven't even brought up the mess the Bulls made in the paint last night. From ESPN Stats and Information: "The Bulls made 15-of-33 shots (45.5 pct) inside five feet in Game 2 against the Heat, well below their season average of 58.9 percent entering Wednesday night. Derrick Rose (2 of 10), Carlos Boozer (3 of 8) and Joakim Noah (2 of 6) were three big reasons the Bulls were outscored 50-34 in the paint."

According to Hoopdata, the Heat went 16-for-20 at the rim, an 80 percent conversion rate.

I've gotta tell you, Udonis Haslem was to Game 2 what Taj Gibson was to Game 1. He finished with a plus-minus score of -11, but his energy inspired his teammates. He threw down dunks. He blocked a shot by Rose. He hit a couple 20-footers at the end of the third quarter to stave off a Bulls rally. He grabbed 3 key offensive rebounds and made countless hustle plays.


But let's face it. Haslem didn't beat Chicago by himself. Nor did LeBron or Wade.

The Bulls won Game 1 with defense and rebounding.

They lost Game 2 for the same reasons.

Worst of the Playoff Night: Dirk the Legend edition

The Oklahoma City Thunder: Try to sedate your brain and consider the following: The Thunder finished last night's game with an Offensive Rebound Rate of 30.6, an Effective Field Goal Percentage of 52.1, a Free Throw Rate of 59.7 and an Offensive Efficiency of 120.4...and they lost the game.

Or maybe it's more accurate to say the Mavericks won it. And they sure didn't do it by stopping Oklahoma City. Dallas scored with the kind of efficiency that must have had John Hollinger biting his lip and silently caressing his calculator.

The Mavs shot 53.3 percent from the field -- including 9-for-23 from downtown -- and converted 34 of their 36 free throw attempts (94.5 percent). That gave them an eFG% of 59.6 and allowed them to score 130.1 points per 100 possessions.

With all due respect to Jason Terry (24 points, 8-for-16), J.J. Barea (21 points, 8-for-12) and Jason Kidd (11 assists), this one was all about Dirk Nowitzki.

From ESPN Stats and Information:

Dirk Nowitzki scored 48 points, his sixth career 40-point playoff game, finishing two points shy of his playoff career-high.

Among active players, only Shaquille O'Neal (12), Kobe Bryant (11) and LeBron James (nine) have more career 40-point playoff games.

Nowitzki set an NBA record by going 24-for-24 from the free throw line, the most free throws made in a single game without a miss -- regular season or postseason.

He drew fouls from seven different Thunder defenders, including all five of Serge Ibaka's. Dirk went 7-for-9 when guarded by Ibaka, including 6-for-8 on post-up plays.

Combining field goal attempts and free throw attempts, the ball left Dirk Nowitzki's hand 39 times tonight; 36 of those times, it went in the hoop.

Nowitzki attempted just 15 shots, the second-fewest field goal attempts in a 40-point playoff game in NBA history.

Only Terry Porter, back in 1992 for the Portland Trail Blazers, needed fewer attempts (41 points on 14 attempts) to reach the 40-point plateau. According to the Elias Sports Bureau, his field-goal percentage of 80.0 is tied for the highest ever in a Conference finals game (minimum 15 FGA).

I think Luc Richard Mbah a Moute needs to rewrite his scouting report to read simply: HIDE YOUR WOMEN, CHILDREN, AND ALL YOUR VALUABLES. YOU CANNOT STOP DIRK NOWITZKI.

Seriously, Mbah a Moute said: "Dirk is a shooter, that's what he does. That's his game. So when you have a guy who shoots, you can contest his shots, you can body him up and you can take him out of his shots making it tough for him to get in a rhythm. ... You want a player like Dirk to drive all night. You want to give him the drive and make sure the help comes or try to take a charge."

Well, the Thunder took that advice to heart, and they made Dirk drive. The end result was that record-setting night at the foul line. When he wasn't doing stuff like this that is:

SCOUTING REPORT FAIL.
Said Oklahoma City coach Scott Brooks: "I thought we defended him as close as we can -- obviously, too close."

Obviously. Think about this: Nowitzki scored 48 points on 15 shots.

According to Dirk, he spent the nine-day break between sweeping the Fakers and starting the Western Conference Finals engaging in late-night shooting sessions. I'm sure he wanted to add something like "and the voodoo rites necessary to make it so I never miss another shot ever again." What? Nowitzki only went 12-for-15 from the field, you say? I'm sure he realized he'd have to miss a few shots now and then just so people wouldn't realize dark magic was involved. Probably decided that while he was washing the pig's blood off his ceremonial wizard's robe.

Said Nowitzki: "I was really looking to shoot early and was able to get my rhythm after the first couple of shots. I kept attacking and my teammates kept feeding me and feeding me and I was able to take advantage over some smaller players."

Kevin Durant -- whose 40-point, 8-rebound, 4-assist, 2-block night was completely overshadowed by what Dirk did -- said: "We can't get discouraged. He's going to make shots. He's going to make off-balanced shots with a hand in his face."

Added Ibaka: "He was hot. It's tough. You can't get frustrated. I'll watch film and we'll come back the next game."

I'm not sure Ibaka really wants to review that film. It would be like watching a home video of your own violent murder. Then Ibaka will realize he was a ghost the whole time, Sixth Sense-style. Actually, you know, that would explain a lot about his defense last night.

Memo to the Thunder: Smacking Dirk around the way you did to Zach Randolph might not work in this series. Not when he shoots free throws like this:


Said Durant: "After playing a physical series with Memphis, I think we were a little too physical with him. We have to make adjustments, be smarter. It's a learning experience, just feeling it out and seeing how we're going to play."

Russell Westbrook: Westbrook was aggressive looking for his shot and getting to the free throw line. The good news is that he went 14-for-18 at the charity stripe. The bad news is that he went missed 10 of his first 11 field goal attempts and ultimately ended up 3-for-15. And, as the AP recap pointed out, "Despite his poor aim, he had taken more shots than Durant at one point late in the third quarter, fueling the critics who say he's too much of a scorer and not enough of a distributor."

What? Because he attempted 15 shots and 18 free throws while finishing with more turnovers (4) than assists (3) despite playing with one of the league's most prolific scoring machines, who was on his way to scoring 40 points on 10-for-18 from the field and 18-for-19 at the line? Are those critics really suggesting he should have been feeding Durant instead of looking to score?

Said Brooks: "He was attacking the basket. That's what we want Russell to do."

I bet. Especially when he shoots 1-for-6 from 3-9 feet, 0-for-1 from 10-15 feet and 0-for-3 from 16-23 feet. At least he didn't jack up any threes.

Kendrick Perkins: Okay. It's official. I'm sick of Perk's tough guy act. Exactly one minute and 11 seconds into the game, he grabbed Tyson Chandler's arm while they were jockeying for position under the hoop, and then he got in Chandler's face after Durant knocked down a 15-footer. For some bizarre reason, the official called a double technical even though, as far as I could tell, Chandler didn't do anything other than stand there looking sour.

Exactly two minutes later, again while they were establishing position under the basket, Perkins basically brought his elbow through Chandler's head. It wasn't a swing so much as a push, but the refs caught this one and Perk was whistled for his second personal and had to go to the bench.

Kendrick didn't commit another foul, but he ended up logging only 28 minutes, during which the Thunder were outscored by 14 points. And yes, in case you were wondering, Perk did in fact have the worst plus-minus score of the game.

Peja Stojakovic: Peja is a shooter. He's there to shoot. Which he did, squeezing off eight shots in 21 minutes, six of which were three-point attempts. He hit exactly one of those shots. Man, it feels like 2002 all over again, doesn't it?

The Dallas D: Do you realize that, if you subtract Westbrook's 3-for-15 brick-a-palooza, the Thunder shot 54 percent from the field? The other starters were on fire: Durant (10-for-18), Ibaka (7-for-11), Perkins (3-for-4), Sefolosha (2-for-2). Oklahoma City went to the line 43 times and shot 43.8 percent from beyond the arc. Oh, and they had 22 fast break points.

If Dirk hadn't been so legendary, this game really might have swung the other way.

Dirk Nowitzki, poster boy: It wasn't all violins and roses for Dirk.


Kevin Durant's post-game fashion statement: Was he on his way to his sixth grade yearbook photo shoot or something?


Magic Johnson, quote machine: This one was submitted by Will R. of Two Middles Up. Here's Magic on Dirk's performance: "He might have three legs tonight the way he was shootin'!"

No, really. Here's video:


The Human Heat-ipede: My buddy Gauvin is a surgery nurse and recently watched The Human Centipede out of professional curiosity. His curiosity quickly turned to horror and the nearly unstoppable urge to barf. Which, of course, translated into the need to tell all his friends about the movie in exacting detail. In case you don't know about it -- and I'm not sure how any regular Internet users could have at this point -- here's a one-sentence summary: A mad doctor kidnaps three people and sews them together ass-to-mouth to create a human centipede.

This Deadspin link was provided by reader inkybreath at my By The Horns blog. Apparently, some guys made the following poster for Game 1 of the Heat-Bulls series. Security didn't let them into the United Center, unfortunately, but no amount of security could keep it off the Internet.


The Minnesota Timberwolves: Let the conspiracy theories begin:

The Minnesota Timberwolves have had the worst history of any team in the NBA Draft Lottery.

Despite finishing in the lottery in 14 of their 22 seasons, the Minnesota Timberwolves have never had the No. 1 draft pick.

In fact, after losing out on the first pick to the Cleveland Cavaliers last night, this will be the first time they've even had the No. 2 pick

The Wolves have had zero luck. In the 14 years they've been in the lottery, they have never moved up and 8 times they've moved down.

In 1992, they had the league's worst record and ended up at No. 3. Picks One and Two were Shaquille O'Neal and Alonzo Mourning

GM David Kahn said what everyone was thinking after Cavs owner Dan Gilbert sent his 14-year-old son (who has a rare nerve disorder) to represent Cleveland.

"This league has a habit, and I am just going to say habit, of producing some pretty incredible story lines," said Kahn. "As soon as the 14-year-old kid joined us, we were toast."

We assume he's only (half) joking? Though more than a few NBA fans are still convinced that the Knicks didn't win the very first Lottery (and Patrick Ewing) on an entirely fair draw.

The Los Angeles Clippers: But wait. There's more:

The worst part is that the Cavs, who were stabbed in the heart by LeBron James last summer, didn't even win with their own pick. (As the second worst team, they had has a 19% chance of nabbing No. 1 overall.) They won with a Clippers pick that they got in a trade ... that had a 2.8% chance of winning. Cleveland now has two of the top 4 picks.

Ah, the Clippers. No matter what happens, no matter the circumstances, they are and always will be who we thought they were. On the bright side, they got Mo Williams and Jamario Moon in the trade that sent that pick to Cleveland...

Chris' Playoff Lacktion Ledger: Nate Robinson obeyed his thirst for lacktivity by bricking thricely in 5:41 (twice from the JPMorgan Chase Tower) and taking a rejection for a +4!

Worst of the Playoff Night: May 10, 2011

Is Thibs auditioning for the opening sequence of Zombieland 2?
The Atlanta Hawks: Well, for starters, Carlos Boozer dunked on them.


No, seriously. Boozer flushed it. Left handed.


At this point, between his slump and the torn toe ligaments, getting dunked on by Boozington is like letting an 80-year-old grandmother go over the top on you in an arm wrestling match.

Chicago's defense through three quarters: For the first 36 minutes, the Hawks shot 53 percent from the field. And, actually, Chicago's D let the Atlantean's knock down 56 percent of their two-pointers (33-for-59) and convert an astonishing 15 of their 18 attempts at the rim. Good thing the Hawks were broke from three-point range (1-for-12).

Chicago's defense on Jeff Teague: Little dude flat out kept the Hawks in this game by scoring a team-high 21 points on 8-for-11 from the field and 5-for-7 at the line. He also had a team-best 7 assists and went 5-for-5 at the rim. Atlanta might have had a chance if not for the following four factors:

Factor 1 -- Joe Johnson: The 120 Million Dollar Man once again played like a third or fourth banana...assuming that banana had been half-peeled and left in the sun for a couple hours. Joe finished with 15 points on 6-for-15 shooting in 41 minutes. He was 1-for-5 from downtown and had only 3 assists and 2 rebounds. Still, Johnson wasn't half as bad as...

Factor 2 -- Jamal Crawford: Crawford was instant offense last night, minus the "instant offense" part. In 27 minutes of PT, Jamal managed just 2 poitns on 1-for-9 shooting (0-for-4 on threes). Note that Keith Bogans outscored Crawford 11-2 last night. I'm just sayin'.

Factor 3 -- Atlanta's fourth quarter offense: During the final 12 minutes, the Dirty Birdies scored only 15 points on 5-for-16 shooting. They committed 5 turnovers -- including one shot clock violation -- and got 2 shots blocked. They jacked up four three-pointers and made zero of them.

Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau went with a fourth quarter lineup of D-Rose, Lu Deng, Omer Asik, Ronnie Brewer and Taj Gibson. That unit straight up shut the Hawks down. It probably didn't help that -- because Atlanta has no bench -- Hawks coach Larry Drew had to play Horford, Johnson and Teague 40+ minutes each. And Smith played 39 minutes.

Factor 4 -- Atlanta's fourth quarter defense on Taj Gibson: The fact that Derrick Rose (33 points, 9 assists, +17) torched the Hawks with 11 points and 3 assists in the fourth quarter isn't all surprising. But Gibson also lit 'em up for 11 fourth quarter points. THE RISE OF TAJ!

Luol Deng, poster boy: Uh, Lu, you don't need to get out on him. Trust me, you want Josh Smith shooting jumpers.


Carlos Boozer versus Josh Smith: Cat fight!


Not sure what that was all about, really. It sort of looked like Boozer thought Smith was going to come down on him and stuck out a protective arm...only Smith landed safely and walked right into Boozer's 'bow.

Said Smith: "I dunked the basketball and I go to turn and he just cleared me with an elbow to the jaw. Nobody is going to do that to me. I don't care who you are. I'm a man first."

Wow. That line was so macho, the woman sitting across from me on the train just grew a tuft of chest hair.

Josh Smith's shot versus Omer Asik's hand: Get out, Josh. Get out.



Benny the Bull: Hey! That's a waste of some perfectly good popcorn.


Chris' Playoff Lacktion Report: Pape Sy and Rasual Butler went mining in 65 seconds each for a 1.1 trillion payday.

Whoops! No Worst of the Night...

Hey, everybody. Evil Ted was going to do today's writeup about the demise of the Celtics...but he didn't get around to it. Yeah. Egg on our faces. Sorry. WotN will return tomorrow.

Worst of the Playoff Night: The Lakers are down 2-0 edition

Pau Gasol is sad...
...AND BRIAN CARDINAL LIKES IT!
The Los Angeles Lakers: I'll admit it. I wrote off the Mavericks before this series even started. Lots of people did. Including, it seems, the Lakers.

But here we are. Not on Planet Earth. I'll tell you that much. It's Bizarro World. The Nuggets are better off without Carmelo Anthony. Danny Ainge willingly busted up a potential championship contender midseason. The Bulls have the best record in the league but look like poop in the playoffs. The Pacers became tough guys. Zach Randolph became superclutch. The Grizzlies dominated the Spurs before sending them home early. And the Lakers are down 2-0 to the Dallas Mavericks.

Despite having homecourt advantage.

Said Dirk Nowitzki: "If you would have told me before that we were going to win both games, it would have been hard to believe."

No kidding.

The situation is both shocking and...not all that shocking. L.A. has been turning it on and off all season. On some nights, Kobe looks like Kobe. Other nights, it appears he's lost half a step. When the season started, Pau Gasol was playing like an MVP candidate. After a month and a half of 40+ minutes per game, he looked like The Old Guy in a pickup league, exhausted and barely getting by on experience and instinct. The bench started off so hot Kevin McHale started calling them "The Killer Bees" but their production dropped off dramatically.

And Ron Artest still looks absolutely lost in Phil Jackson's Triangle.

No, the problems didn't start today, and Andrew Bynum knows it.

Said Bynum: "It's deeply rooted at this point. It's obvious that we have trust issues, individually. All 13 of our guys have trust issues right now. I think it's quite obvious to anyone watching the game -- hesitation on passes, and defensively we're not being a good teammate because he wasn't there for you before -- little things. And unless we come out and discuss them, nothing is going to change."

Countered Kobe: "I think the trust that he's referring to is being able to help each other on the defensive end of the floor. You saw a lot of layups. He gets frustrated when he supports a guard coming off the screen-and-roll and nobody supports him."

The Lakers can talk about defense all they want, but it's not like the Mavericks were setting the world on fire. They went 12-for-21 at the rim, which is good, but not great. Nowitzki was fantastic (24 points, 9-for-16, 2-for-3 from downtown), but Jasons Kidd and Terry combined to shoot 6-for-22. And Peja Stojakovic was flashing back to 2002 with his 2-for-9 (and 0-for-5 on threes) night.

As a team, Dallas shot 42 percent, went 8-for-25 from beyond the arc and got outrebounded 44-39.

L.A.'s defense did a credible job. Their offense, on the other hand, did not. Talk about way off: The Lakers converted only 41 percent of their field goals, shot 2-for-20 on threes and bricked nine of their 20 free throws. Kobe had one of his classic 9-for-20 nights (including 1-for-5 on treys). Gasol (5-for-12), Artest (4-for-10) and Derek Fisher (2-for-7) couldn't have located the basket with a police dog. The bench went 6-for-23, and that was despite Shannon Brown's 3-for-4 performance.

If it wasn't for Bynum's 8-for-11 shooting and 7 offensive rebound, the Lakers might have lost by 20.

You know what it was? The Mavericks were the aggressors. They had no fear. They attacked the Lakers on offense and defense. They never got rattled. Never backed down. They displayed a toughness nobody outside of Dallas believed they had.

Now ESPN's J.A. Adande says the three-peat ain't happening:

The Lakers are done. I say this despite their championship pedigree, their coach's ability to guide teams through apparent calamity and a direct warning from a certain 6-foot-6 guard.

"Be careful what you write," Kobe Bryant said, knowing full well that I and the rest of the media pack walking through the Staples Center corridor were about to type the Lakers' death notice as soon as we returned to the Chick Hearn Press Room.

"Be careful what you write," Bryant repeated. He added an admonition for my ESPN.com colleague. "You too, Stein."

I told Bryant that the Lakers don't have the energy.

"True," he said.

And if you don't have energy, then the schemes or the intent or the pride don't matter.

"True," he said.

There's no way he was leaving it at that. I tried to draw more out of him.

"But?"

"But," he replied with a smile. "But. Dot-dot-dot. "

Kobe's defiant. You expected that. But are any of the other Lakers feeling it?

Said Jackson: "It looked like Dallas had more energy out there on the floor than we did. That's a concern. ... We really got dispirited."

Now the Lakers have to be feeling the dreaded "D" word.

Said Kobe: "Desperate? That's a strong word. I think when you play desperate, you don't play your best basketball. What we need to do is relax, focus on what we're doing wrong and the mistakes that we're making, and we have plenty to review and lock in on that."

If you say so, Mamba.

Said Bynum: "If we go to the root of what's really hurting us and not candy-coat things and not talk around issues, then we'll be fine. If not, then we won't. I think we've addressed them before, but now is the time to really sit down and ask yourself the tough questions."

Good luck with that, Andy.

Stephanie G: "The ship be sinking."
Ron Artest: L.A.'s "defensive stopper" was dispatched on Dirk Nowitzki. And it didn't matter. Dirk still got whatever he wanted. What did you expect? That Artest could really guard a seven-footer? Really?

Still, that's not why Ron is getting a WotN. No, it's because your 2011 J. Walter Kennedy Citizenship Award winner did this:


As Basketbawful reader Peter asked: "Tru Warrior or Ultimate Warrior?"

Now that's the Crazy Pills we've been waiting to see. Artest was ejected and will likely be suspended for Game 3. Although, the way he's been playing, that might actually be good news for the Lakers.

Shawn Marion: Rewatch that Artest video and notice how Marion reacts to his teammate getting clotheslined across the face.

Bonus video: Basetbawful reader Cetti writes: "I do not have words for that." And by "that," Cetti is talking about this:


The Atlanta Hawks: Spider-Man's balls! The Dirty Birds really laid an offensive egg last night. I could eat Vinny Del Negro's offensive playbook and crap out a better game plan than Atlanta had last night. You know it's bad when, during those Mic'd up segments, the coach is bitching out his team for taking stupid shots.

And he wasn't wrong.

The Bulls held the Hawks to 73 points on 33.8 percent shooting and forced them to miss 10 of their 13 three-point attempts. Atlanta finished with a miserable Effective Field Goal Percentage of 35.7 and an Offensive Efficiency of only 81.1. As in points per 100 possessions.

The Hawks missed 11 of their 23 field goal attempts at the rim and went a gag-reflex-testing 6-for-30 from 16-23 feet. They were as cold last night as they were hot in Game 1. Dr. Jekyll, meet Mr. Hyde.

Chicago's D did a number on Josh Smith (4-for-14), Al Horford (3-for-12 and zero free throw attempts), Jamal Crawford (2-for-10) and Marvin Williams (2-for-9). Moreover, the Bulls contained Joe Johnson, who finished with 16 points on 7-for-15 shooting and made only one trip to the foul line. And, outside of Crawford, the Atlanta bench managed only 2 points.

According to ESPN Stats and Information, Atlanta had the lowest FGP of a Bulls playoff opponent since the Michael Jordan era...and the third-lowest since 1995-96.

Seriously, the Hawks couldn't have located the basket even if they'd had help from the CIA agents who tracked down Osama Bin Laden.

The Bulls also outrebounded the Hawks 58-39 and had an 18-10 advantage in second-chance points.

The only reason the Bulls didn't win this one by 30 is because their offense was almost as dreadful as Atlanta's. Derrick Rose had a case of the MVP yips: 10-for-27 from the field, 1-for-8 from downtown and 8 turnovers. Carlos Boozer kept shooting directly into the hands of Smith. Kyle Korver (1-for-9) led a Chicago bench attack that produced a combined 5-for-20 brick-a-palooza.

Noah was the hero of the night, scoring 19 points (6-for-8 from the field and 7-for-8 at the line) to go with 14 rebounds, including 7 big-time offensive boards. Jo also had three steals and countless hustle plays. There was no question he felt a sense of urgency. Still...Noah twice gave up three-point plays by swiping at an Atlanta player who was about to make an easy layup. The second time Noah did that -- fouling Smith with 4:56 remaining -- allowed the Hawks to pull to within six points (75-69).

That was the kind of night it was. It seemed that for every two positive players, somebody on the team made a negative one. Yes, the Bulls won by double-digits. No, it did not feel like a commanding victory even though it probably should have been.

The Bulls need to get their offensive act together. Pronto.

Carlos Boozer: Last night, Boozer went 3-for-8 at the rim, 0-for-1 from 3-9 feet, 0-for-1 from 10-15 feet and 1-for-2 from 16-23 feet. Four of his shots were blocked. Felt like twice that many.

And Booz got booed by the home crowd. Noah wants them to stop.

Said Noah: "Sometimes our home crowd is a tough game to play. We've got a lot of love for our crowd, but through tough times, we got to stick together. I've been in that position before, my rookie year, where I've been booed. It's tough to be booed in your home crowd. With Carlos, people have to understand he's playing through an injury, and he's giving us what he's got. He's somebody who has an unbelievable presence, and he opens up a lot of things for a lot of us. I think sometimes people are quick to bash one player. But this is a team, and we know we need Carlos to get to where we want to go."

Added Ronnie Brewer: "If you know how turf toe is, if you have any injury [like that], anything he can go out and give us is a plus. I think he did a phenomenal job on both ends of the floor."

Further added Chicago coach Tom Thibodeau: "Carlos is giving us everything he has. The rebounding is huge. His offense will come around."

The Bulls better hope so.

Said Boozer: "Obviously I want to make the shots that I missed, or the ones that got blocked. But for the most part, I'm just going to keep playing."

That's all he can do, really.

I just hope he doesn't keep playing the way he has been.

Chris' Playoff Lacktion Report:

Jason Collins fouled once in 3:16 for a +1 and a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl...

...while fellow dirty birds Josh Powell, Hilton Armstrong, and Pape Sy went 55 seconds as MARIO TRIPLETS! (Armstrong checked a board in and avoided true lacktivity).

In 15 fewer seconds, steakhouse master Omer Asik matched Collins's not-so-big-man numbers to a tee.

Worst of the Playoff Night: May 3, 2011

Okay, does LeBron look more like a 'tard...
...or an Orc from The Lord of the Rings?
The Boston Celtics: It didn't really happen during the regular season. Not consistently. But it's happening now. Right before our eyes. I'm talking about the fulfillment of Pat Riley's vision. And by "Pat Riley's vision" I'm actually talking about Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade and LeBron James getting together and deciding to join forces on one superteam.

Now that it's playoff time, there's no holding back, no "For me, 44 minutes is too much, I think coach Spo knows that." In fact, LeBron played 44 minutes last night. D-Wade and the Boshtrich both logged around 40. Those three combined for 80 of their team's 102 points. As a three-man unit, they attempted 55 of cHeat's 75 shot attempts and 32 of their 36 free throw attempts. The Nazgul were +10 in FTA versus all 10 Celtics who saw PT.

I was listening to ESPN's Mike and Mike this morning. Their contention was that James and Wade beat the Celtics with jumpers. And, yeah, LeBron went 2-for-4 from downtown. But he went 2-for-7 from 16-23 feet and D-Wade was 0-for-5 from that zone (and 1-for-3 on triples). By contrast, they were 10-for-13 at the rim and 16-for-21 from the free throw line.

According to ESPN Stats and Information: "Dwyane Wade and LeBron James scored 48 of their 63 points (76.2 percent) at either the foul line or inside of 15 feet of the basket on Tuesday. For the series, the two All-Stars have combined for 83 points from these locations."

The free throw line. That's where the cHeat are winning this series. Miami won Games 1 and 2 by a combined 20 points. In those two games, the Floridians have a 68-40 advantage in attempted freebies. That's not to say that the officials are handing this series to the cHeat. I'm not trying to draw that conclusion. I am saying that Boston is struggling to keep King Crab and Pookie out of the paint and off the charity stripe. The Celtics are lacking in both interior defense and toughness right now. This, more than any other time, is when they're missing Kendrick Perkins.

But, really, I'm not sure Perk could have turned the tide. This is what Riley and cHeat fans banking on: Two of the NBA's top five players being virtually unstoppable at the same time. Before this season, the Celtics never totally shut down either of them, only slowed them down. Dealing with both simultaneously is proving impossible. Again, maybe if they had a second indomitable big man closing down the painted rectangle...but they don't.

Said Wade: "I believe in my ability, but it's very hard to win [alone]. Having another guy, with Chris [Bosh] as well, that takes over games is a burden off of you. We can come at them as a team."

Added LeBron: "In the past, I knew that if I didn't bring my A-game, there is a pretty good chance we weren't going to win. Having guys on the court that can take over the game, that takes a load off of you. That is the vision I had during the free-agent period when I decided to come."

What can the Celtics do?





Yes, the forearm in KG's chest helps.
Said Glen Davis: "Their stars are being stars. Wade and James are willing their way to the win."

Added Boston's head cheese Doc Rivers: "Nothing we can do about it. We've got a third game and we've got to take care of that. Whatever the past is, it is. They've won two games at home. But we can't allow them to play like this, or it's going to be tough at our place."

Ray Allen, quote machine: "Being down 2-0 doesn't scare any of us, doesn't make us nervous. It's just an opportunity to come out shining."

The Memphis Grizzlies: You know what? I kind of want to give the Grizzlies a "Best of the Night" even though they lost Game 2 of their series 111-102. I also want to give a lot of credit to Zach Randolph and Marc Gasol even though they combined for a miserable 5-for-22 shooting night.

Here's why: The Thunder got a lot of latitude from the officials in this game. That may sound strange considering the fact that Memphis had a slight edge in free throw attempts (34-33). And, yeah, Oklahoma City was sizzling at the rim (17-for-23) and from beyond the arc (8-for-14). Plus, the Thunder shut down the paint, limiting Memphis to 42.4 percent shooting at the rim (11-for-26). Oh, right, and James Harden (21 points, 5-for-9, 11-for-11)? Where did that come from?

Here's what I was meant by the "latitude" comment. The Thunder did everything they could do to knock the hell out of Gasol and Randolph. They grabbed and shoved. At one point, Z-Bo had his arms locked by two OKC players. Zach's response? After he got free, he nodded and patted them on the ass. At another point, for no reason whatsoever, Perkins dipped his shoulder and ran full force into a stationary Gasol. Marc's response? A "Fucking really?" eye roll and nothing more.

That kind of stuff went on all night, which is a big reason why Randolph went 0-for-5 at the rim. Hell, Gasol pulled a page out of his big brother's book and didn't even attempt a shot at the rim. The paint became a butcher's shop. And make no mistake: That benefitted the Thunder. For further proof, Memphis finished with a playoff-low 34 points in the paint.

Amazingly, despite the exceedingly rough play, the Grizzlies never lost their composure. Never backed down, either, fighting to the very end.

Said Memphis coach Lionel Hollins: "It was a classic desperate team, more aggressive team. I say the desperate team usually wins, and they were the desperate team in their play, which was a sense of urgency and aggressiveness. They came out and attacked."

Attacked. That's the right word...because many of OKC's defensive plays looked like muggings. I wouldn't be surprised if Randolph got back to his hotel room and found his wallet missing.

Said Gasol: "It's going to be a physical series and it's going to be long. We didn't think it would be easy."

Added Hollins: "We just didn't have enough fight in us."

They also had too many buttery fingers. The Griz gave up 20 points off 16 turnovers. Those miscues got the Thunder out and running...they would finish with 17 fast break points.

Said Hollins: "You can't turn the ball over and play good defense at the same time. It just doesn't work that way."

No, it doesn't, Lionel.

Chris' Playoff Lacktion Report: Nenad Krstic klutzed one shot attempt in 11:19 for a +1 while Von Wafer produced a gold bar worth 2 trillion (122 seconds).

Worst of the Playoff Night: May 2, 2011

NBA action: It's FAN-tastic.
The Chicago Bulls: A few Bulls fans got pissy with me for something I wrote in a recent ESPN 5-on-5.

The question:

"On a scale from 0 to 100, what are the Hawks' chances?"

My partial answer:

"My gut says 50 because the Hawks are such a 50-50 team: with so much potential but so enigmatic."

On my By The Horns blog, one commenter said: "There is no way you should write for the Bulls if you say the hawks have a 50 percent chance of winning this series wtf."

Look, I wasn't trying to rag on the Bulls or anything, but the Hawks are one of those trick-or-treat teams. Some nights, they look like the champions in warmups. Other nights, they look like the Clippers. That's how it is with streaky jump shooting teams. If they get hot, they can beat anybody...

...and they were hot last night.

The 120 Million Dollar Man left third degree burns all over anybody who dared guard him. Joe Cool finished with 34 points on 12-for-18 shooting, going 5-for-5 from downtown and 5-for-5 from the free throw line. Former Bull Jamal Crawford added 22 points on 8-for-16 from the field, 2-for-4 from beyond he arc and 4-for-4 from the foul line.

As a team, the Hawks went 14-for-21 at the rim (66 percent). They went 7-for-13 from three-point range (54 percent) and converted 26 of their 57 jumpers overall (46 percent). Atlanta finished with an Effective Field Goal Percentage of 55.8 percent and an Offensive Efficiency of 115.7.

That's funny. I'd heard rumors that the Bulls are the league's best defensive team.

Outside of the defense, Chicago's most significant advantage over Atlanta -- offensive rebounding -- was negated as the teams finished almost dead even in Offensive Rebound Percentage and second-chance points: Bulls 25.6 percent and 12, Hawks 25.0 percent and 11.

And, despite the presence of Derrick Rose, Atlanta finished with a higher Free Throw Rate (25.6) than Chicago (19.3).

Or maybe I should say because of Rose. If your stomach is at all queasy, I suggest not reviewing the Great Poohdini's shooting stats: 11-for-27 from the field, 2-for-7 from downtown, 0-for-0 from the free throw line.

He began the game 0-for-7. Clink. Clank. Clunk.

Rose -- who, according to a source, will be named MVP today -- had an otherwise strong game (24 points, 10 assists, 5 rebounds, 2 steals and a blocked shot). But his ankle is gimpier than the guy locked up in Zed's basement. Derrick couldn't explode into defenders to draw the contact necessary to earn a whistle. And, to make matters worse, he further tweaked the ankle stepping on Crawford's foot with only six seconds left and the game already decided.

Way too many jumpers. Not nearly enough drives.

Said Rose: "I don't know why I didn't keep attacking the basket."

It could have been, and probably was, the ankle. Of course, Atlanta had a nice game plan, too. They -- as so many teams before them -- clogged the paint and dared the Bulls to make outside shots. Chicago was decent from beyond the arc (8-for-18) but went a miserable 4-for-18 (22.3 percent) from 16-23 feet. Almost as bad was the fact that the Bulls missed 15 of their 30 attempts at the rim. Rose missed five of his nine bunnies.

Chicago's most critical failure was in intensity, especially on defense. During the regular season, this team challenged every single shot. Last night, the Hawks got pretty much any shot they wanted. During the regular season, Chicago's defense got stronger as the game went along. Last night, Atlanta scored 31 points in the fourth quarter.

Said Bulls coach and NBA Coach of the Year Tom Thibodeau: "The intensity wasn't right. The start of the game was poor in terms of ball direction, in terms of challenging shots, in terms of showing help. There wasn't one aspect of the defense that was good. They're too good of a team to play like that."

It was a stunning performance. Or non-performance, depending on your outlook. In the opening round, the Bulls were clearly caught off guard by the intensity and tenacity displayed by the Pacers. Through the first four games anyway. By Game 5, though, the team was finally ready for it. The players had taken it...now they were ready to dish it out. Which, I thought at the time, seemed like a pretty good sign for round two.

Apparently, I was way off in that assessment. In the first quarter, the Bulls played far too relaxed, like they were waiting for the game to come to them. Meanwhile, the Hawks were trying to take the game by the throat. They began the game with a 9-0 run and led 28-18 after 12 minutes.

In the fourth quarter, when Atlanta built a solid (but not insurmountable) lead, players started hanging their heads and looking beaten.

Okay, maybe it was more frustration than defeat, but it sure wasn't the "never say die" team that won 62 games during the regular season. And the fact that Rose couldn't dominate the action late in the game seemed to take the wind out of his teammates sails.

Said Joakim Noah: "It's tough when your best player is limping off the court with an injury that you know he's had before. It's tough, but right now, we have a game on Wednesday in less than 48 hours."

That's right, Jo, you guys do have a game in less than 48 hours. And you need to get your stuff together. Of course, I have to keep reminding myself that this is a young team that hasn't been tested in the playoffs yet. No amount of film study or preparation in practice can substitute for experience. The Hawks aren't as good as the Bulls...but they've been through this together.

The Bulls haven't.

And if they don't get their shit together, their playoff experience is gonna end really soon.

Update! The dickery of the Atlanta Hawks: Basketbawful reader The Other Chris:

I think this post needs a mention of Atlanta leaving tickets for Jameer Nelson, in an absolutely classic "FU" move.

I felt like crap last night and went to bed just after the start of the 3rd quarter between Chicago and Atlanta, assuming that with a 56-51 lead and all the momentum, Chicago would put the hammer down and cruise to an easy victory.

Whoops.

And the Lakers lost.

And Canada elected a Stephen Harper majority government.

A lot of crazy shit happens while you're sleeping, sometimes.

The Los Angeles Lakers: Man, the way the first half ended was so Dallas Mavericks-y that I was absolutely certain the Mavs' annual playoff meltdown was underway.

With 2:31 left in the second quarter, Jason Terry drilled a 21-footer to give Dallas a 42-39 lead. The Lakers proceeded to go on a 14-2 run that was capped off in true Mavericks fashion. First, Jason Terry fouled Lamar Odom on a half-court heave with less than a second to go.

Yes, it was a pretty bogus call, all things considered. But you know what? Let Odom chuck it from 50+ feet. Challenge but don't get in his grill. Terry got to close and the call was made. The officials reviewed the play to make sure the foul happened before time expired...and the look on Terry's face during that review was priceless. I wish I had a screen capture of it.

So Odom got three foul shots and he hit 'em all. That should have been the end of it. But, of course, it wasn't. As Dirk Nowitzki tried to block out Ron Artest, Mr. Citizenship drove his ass into Dirk's lower body, forcing him under the basket. That's a foul, by the way, because you're not allowed to push someone with inside position out of the way. No foul was called, however, and Nowitzki retaliated by swinging an elbow into Artest's back.

Tweet!

Technical foul. Kobe calmly knocked down the freebie and the half ended Lakers 53, Mavericks 44.

I genuinely thought that was the game. Forget the fact that there were 24 minutes left. This was going t be yet another example of Dallas players losing their cool and blowing a winnable game.

Only they didn't blow the game. They stole it.

After falling behind by as many as 16 points in the third quarter, the Mavs came back to life. By the end of the quarter, L.A.'s lead was down to seven. And then Dallas really turned it on in the fourth, shooting 10-for-19 from the field and outscoring the Lakers 25-16.

Oh, and Herr Dirk took a huge, steaming dump all over the "anti-clutch" tag that people (myself included) have stuck on him over the years. Nowitzki scored 11 points in the final 12 minutes and hit the go-ahead free throws with 19.5 seconds left. You wanna know how Dirk earned those free throws? Pau Gasol badly overplayed him on an inbounds pass and fouled him in a very obvious way.


Nowitzki's thespian skills helped. But still.

Gasol wasn't done effing up. On the ensuing possession, with his team down by a single point, Pau was trying to hand a pass off to Kobe Bryant when Bryant tripped over his own feet and bumped the ball on his way to the hardwood. For a second, it looked like Gasol would retain possession, but the ball squirted loose, Jason Kidd came up with it, and Gasol was forced to foul.


Kidd went only 1-for-2 at the line, giving the Lakers a chance to tie or win with a three. Kobe got wide open for a three, thank to wonderful moving pick by Andrew Bynum, but he missed.

And the Mavericks won.

Said Dallas coach Rick Carlisle: "You've got to mke plays, and you've got to dodge some bullets. We did both."

Added L.A. coach Phil Jackson: "We felt like we gave the game away. I'm not so sure Dallas didn't outplay us, but the players felt like we gave it away. ... The game was won in the third quarter when we got the lead and stopped playing defense and stopped playing offense. It took a lot of energy out of us and gave a lot of energy to them."

Countered Shawn Marion: "We did well, but I think we can do better. Is there anybody that knows we play good D?"

I guess we all know now. The Lakers shot only 42 percent and went 5-for-19 from downtown. And they scored only 16 points in the decisive fourth quarter. At home.

Of course, their offensive woes might have been because of their game plan as much as it was because of the Dallas D. According to ESPN Stats and Information:

In the first half of Game 1, the Lakers attempted 25 of their 42 field goals within 10 feet of the basket. In the second half, the Lakers stopped going inside as often, attempting 15 of their 42 field goals within 10 feet. The Lakers shot 50.0 percent within 10 feet on the game.

Andrew Bynum shot 70.4 percent (19-of-27) against the Mavericks in the regular season, but the Lakers shied away from him in Game 1. Bynum was on the floor for 59 of the Lakers' 101 possessions (58.4 pct) and had a touch on just 18 of those possessions (30.5 pct). Bynum was utilized much less frequently than his big counterpart Pau Gasol, who played 74.3 percent of the Lakers possessions and got a touch on 52.0 percent of them.

This is where I point out (once again it seems) that Kobe attempted 29 shots while the rest of the L.A. starters combined for 32. I also need to remind everybody that the Lakers didn't turn their series with the Hornets around until they started utilizing their biggest advantages. Namely, size and inside scoring.

For your reading pleasure, here's L.A.'s crunch time (final five minutes) offensive possessions.

Kobe missed three-pointer; Ron Artest offensive rebound and missed tip shot; Kobe missed jumper (blocked by Tyson Chandler); Kobe made 17-footer; Kobe missed 19-footer; Derek Fisher missed three-pointer; Lamar Odom offensive rebound; Gasol missed jumper (blocked by Chandler); Kobe made 11-footer; Kobe turnover; Gasol turnover; Kobe missed three-pointer.

29 shot attempts. 3 turnovers. 0 assists. 2-for-6 with a TO in the final five minutes. I'll let you draw your own conclusions.

Chris' Playoff Lacktion Report:

Hawks-Bulls: Kurt Thomas fouled once for a +1 in 1:58 and a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.

Mavs-Lakers: Brendan Haywood hung 100% on the field goals from one attempt) in 13:11, only to foul four times for a 4:2 Voskuhl.

Worst of the Playoff Night: Triple Lonely Man Edition

Your 2010-11 J. Walter Kennedy Citizenship Award winner, everybody!
The Orlando Magic: Dwight Howard once again left his Tyrannosaur-sized footprint on the game -- 25 points, 8-for-13 from the field, 9-for-12 from the line, 15 rebounds, 3 blocked shots, 2 assists and a steal -- but that's pretty much where the good news ended for the Magic. Orlando was revealed, once again, as an experiment in shoddy team building.

It's hard to believe that, two short seasons ago, the Magic made it all the way to the NBA Finals. Of course, after that success, they compounded the error of having given an obscene contract to Rashard Lewis by ditching key cog Hedo Turkoglu in favor of Vince Carter. Then, when that didn't work out, they shipped out Lewis and Carter -- along with Marcin Gortat, who was Howard's only real backup -- in return for Gilbert Arenas, Jason Richardson and Turkoglu Part 2.

Richardson made sense, I guess, because he was a three-point shooter and as far as anyone could tell a consistent scoring threat. But Arenas is finished as an elite player -- that should have been obvious to anyone -- and The Return of Turkoglu seemed destined to prove that sequels are never as good as the original.

Oh, and I haven't even mentioned how the Magic outbid the Bulls for the services of J.J. Redick. Who got injured. And doesn't play defense.

On that subject, none of Orlando's key players ever played much defense, except Howard. In fact, Howard earned his Defensive Player of the Year award for making every single defensive play for the Magic all season. I may need to double-check that number, but it feels right, doesn't it?

Defense and overall ability aside, the Magic were built on the strength of Howard's outside game and the outside shooting ability of his teammates. If Mike D'Antoni's Phoenix Suns teams had a Seven Seconds or Less offense, then Stan Van Gundy's system should have been called "Dunk or a Three." Only this year's squad wasn't a great three-point shooting team. They were decent, I guess, ranking 10th at 36.6 percent.

Still...that made them only 0.1 of a point out of 15th place. So, in reality, they were somewhere between average and above-average when shooting threes. And that really wasn't good enough. Not with how their offense is supposed to work. Sure enough, outside shooting doomed Orlando against the Hawks. For the series, the Magic shot 26.2 percent from downtown. Last night, in an elimination game, they went 5-for-19 from beyond the arc.

To make matters worse, they were outrebounded 39-31 including 14-7 on the offensive glass. That's significant considering their season came down to an offensive board. The Hawks were up 82-81 with 12 seconds left when Marvin Williams bricked a three. Had the Magic simply gathered in the rebound, they could have won by making any shot. Unfortunately for the Orlando faithful, Joe Johnson came up with the board and got it to Jamal Crawford. Arenas was forced to foul, after which Crawford calmly knocked down both 'throws.

Credit the Magic (and an illegal pick by Howard) for getting Redick wide open for a potential game-tying three-bomb with three seconds left. But the shot was even wider left than it was open. Atlanta came up with the rebound but landed out of bounds, setting up a final opportunity for the Magic with one second left. But it was no chance at all: Richardson's shot was blocked by Josh Smith.

Game over.

The future doesn't look so bright for the Magic. They're locked into long-term deals for Arenas and Turkoglu, and Howard can bolt after next season. I'd say "Maybe the front office can make a canny move" but, if they could do that, the team might not be going home early.


Update! Jameer Nelson: This stat curse has to go right up there with Devin Harris' infamous "I knew we were going to be a playoff team" and "Playoffs, baby" stat curses.


Hey, Jameer, you can still make this prediction come true. Chicago could always use another ball boy. You're certainly the right height for the job.

Stan Van Gundy, quote machine: "A team that fights as hard as our guys did, and I couldn't get them over the hump to win this series, that really is disappointing to me and the job that I did as a coach. I'm just disappointed not to be able to get my team over the hump."

I'm not sure what more Van Gundy could have done. Make Jameer Nelson taller? Use faith healing to fix Arenas' knee? Shoot his players' threes for them?

Experts: Basketbawful reader stephanie g provided the following images of fail:



Not that I have much room to talk. While talking to BadDave on Wednesday night, I guaranteed Orlando would come back and win the series. Last night, pretty much as the final buzzer sounded, BadDave started blowing up my phone.

So, yeah, I was wrong. Grumble, grumble, grumble.

The New Orleans Hornets: It stuns me that so many people fooled themselves into thinking this was an actual, you know, playoff series. Yes, the Hornets won two games, but it took two absolutely superhuman performances by Chris Paul plus step-up games from guys like Aaron Gray and Jarrett Jack to pull off those victories.

Honestly, it's a testament to CP3 that some people -- make that "many people" -- really thought he could single-handedly destroy the Lakers any time he wanted. That it would be that easy. The extent to which those two wins changed perception about Paul was astounding. He went from being generally considered one of the best (if not the best) point guards in the league to possibly the greatest ever. I was honestly prepared for a "It's God disguised as Chris Paul!" quote from somebody, and some of the comments on ESPN's recent Daily Dime Live chats were damn close.

Here's what I want to know: Have people not followed the Lakers for the past decade? Or, more accurately, have people not followed Phil Jackson's coaching career?

Look, lots of players have burned Jackson's teams for a game or two. Especially guards. Tony Parker is an example that springs to mind. And then, after some adjustments are made, those players usually get shut down. It happened when Jackson was in Chicago and it's happened during his two stints in L.A.

And it happened again last night. Paul had a double-double (10 points and 11 assists) but shot only 4-for-9, attempted only one free throw and committed a game-high 5 turnovers. He never took over the game for any stretch of time and finished with a co-game-worst plus-minus score of -17. Jackson designed a defense that almost completely took Paul out of the game. With predictable results: New Orleans fell behind by as many as 21 points and eventually lost 98-80.

The defining moment of last night's game, the instant I knew the series was truly over, was when Paul grabbed a rebound and then got knocked over by Ron Artest, who stole the ball, laid it in, and then flexed for the crowd. The Hornets never really recovered from that play.


There was more at work than L.A.'s defense on Paul or Artest's Hulk Hogan impression. The Lakers' size advantage finally squashed the smaller Hornets. To wit: L.A. had a 43-30 rebounding edge, including a 14-7 on the offensive glass, which in turn led to a 21-4 advantage in second-chance points. Andrew Bynum, who had 8 offensive boards, was particularly devastating.

Said Hornets coach Monty Williams: "Every time he got an offensive rebound, it was deflating. You don't really realize how good he is until you face him in a series. Kobe's Kobe, but I thought Bynum decided the series. He was that good."

Added Phil Jackson: "The size and depth of our team wore them down in the end."

That it did.


Reggie Miller, possibly unintentionally dirty quote machine: On the relationship between Jackson and Bynum: "I think they had a coming of the minds after the All-Star break." When I heard this one, I immediately jotted it down in my notebook, but Basketbawful reader Wormboy also e-mailed it in.

The Portland Frail Blazers: This game down to execution and hitting shots. The Mavericks did those two things. The Blazers did not.

According to ESPN Stats and Information, Dallas went 31-for-55 (56.4 percent) in their half-court sets after the first quarter. I don't mean to oversimplify things, but the Mavs played like a veteran team that's been there and done that. The Blazers didn't.

Dirk Nowitzki (33 points, 11-for-17, 11-for-11 at the line, 11 rebounds, 4 assists) played up to his reputation instead of down to it. LaMarcus Aldridge (11-for-25 from the field, only 2-for-4 at the line) did the opposite.

Said Jason Terry: "We're such a confident team. We have so many veteran guys, starting at the top with Jason Kidd on down to Dirk, that we believe. Especially in close ballgames, we've been winning them all season long. So we're confident."

Added Aldridge: "I think everybody played their hearts out tonight. I thought everybody gave it their all, we put it on the line. They just made more plays than us."

That's the thing, you know? The Blazers played okay. The Mavs just played better.


As for the Mavericks' chances against the Lakers, let me put it this way: According to Hoopdata, Dallas ranks 28th in the league in FGA at the rim and 5th in three-pointers attempted. The Mavs are a jump shooting team. L.A.'s size is gonna wear 'em down, just like it did to the Hornets.

Chris' Playoff Lacktion Report:

Magic-Hawks: As the dirty birds took out the alchemists from Florida, wealth was handed down on both sides of the table, with Orlando's Quentin Richardson cueing up a 5.45 trillion (5:28) and Atlanta's Hilton Armstrong receiving a final voucher for a 2.25 trillion stay (2:15).

Jason Collins went 100% from the field (on one attempt) in 16:41 as starting big man, even gathering up two boards...only to foul and lose the rock thrice each for a 6:4 Voskuhl.

Lakers-Hornets: Remember when this series was...interesting? Seems so long ago, doesn't it? At least Joe Smith and Patrick Ewing Jr. each became the proud holder of a 1 trillion bank note.

Mavs-Frail Blazers: Brendan Haywood burned out four boards in 15:18 with three bricks, a turnover, and four fouls for a 5:4 Voskuhl.