you know about me... you know i am going through something similiar yet not so similar as you are dealing only with your whole family i am dealing with my brother... where as you are very defensive on them... i am actually starting to open up my mind to other things.. not turning str8 because he does accept that i am gay .. they just want me to live in a celibate life... either way... the beautiful thing with my brother he doesnt expect something to occur from one day... he doesnt expect me to become straight.. he is geniunly concerned of my after life...
now what i am trying to say is you have to admit regardless if we are gay or str8 me and you push the limits sometimes....
how many sex partners we had in the past 4 years ?
how many drunken weeks/weekends have we had in the past year ?
mow much drugs have we consumed ?
maybe when yo go tell your therapist you want to be str8 he wont believe you directly ... so why not tell him you want to be the best version of YOU... tell i want to take baby steps first ... by cutting down on drinking and sex etc.
Q's comment on my "Self-degaying, self-decaying?" post
After reading Q's latest post, I thought that it's just a Gemini phase where he'll get distracted at some point regardless how long he'll last in that coma but what made me give the whole "pseudo-heterosexual" concept another thought was what my shrink asked me in the last session whether I'm still keeping my hetero-friendships fully alive and when was the last time I saw them, In addition to what someone I chat with told me, that his ex.date(that I don't know) saw me in many gay parties. So I got confused between what's good and what's bad? to be totally out of the closet or to be partially in it? Isn't every choice we make has its cons and pros? Does the majority of gay guys freak out when they would know that my parents & my close straight friends know about my "tragic inclination", that I've many gay friends, that I've been officially into gay life for 6 years now & I'm only 21, that I can no longer know my magic number of guys I've been sexually with, that I've an experience that is one of the causes of my over self-confidence? Will we have neo-discreets like Q who wants to resuscitate his very old "keeping-low-profile"? And what about the reformists who are sick of the gay scene and wants to fix everything neo-liberals have done?
I don't understand what's wrong to just be yourself? To do things that you enjoy without feeling abstinent about it and asking for repentance? I'm not saying that we just go around advertising it but the people that you know, the people that you love, you don't keep it a secret from them! But why would people keep it a secret? Is it because it's dangerous out there? For them, is it like why take the risk? But, isn't not taking the risk is riskier?
Is it true that when homosexuals devote to their gay lifestyle & abandon their former straight life with its people, they become cruel, more vicious and they become laws unto themselves? Whereas homosexuals such as what Q wants to be, who live "pseudo-heterosexually", much more likely to hang onto some semblance of their former pre-coming-out-to-themselves life?
But I'm sorry Q, you are horribly mistaken, this isn't a change, this is a wimp! Regardless how fitting is my "Forbidden fruit guy" in your whole "less-parties-drinking-sex-scene" change, you will walk in circles, you will get dizzy from it that you will have no perspective anymore and you will need a strong jolt to wake you up, move forward, get over it and get back on the horse!
