By now, if you haven't seen it, you're under a rock. Let's face it, there's nothing more fun in today's society than pooping all over LeBron James. In this case, he's given us tons to poop on, as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog would say.
Let's give the poor guy some credit. He's going around the world on a "goodwill" tour to entertain people in foreign lands. Very nice of him. And yet, given the large percentage of the U.S. population waiting to pounce on him at any misstep (does he deserve to be called basketball's Tiger Woods?), he's in one of those situations he just can't win. If he plays at full speed and effort against the Taiwanese players, he's a bully. If he plays them at half-speed, as he was, he risks getting jammed on by one of the amped-up little dudes, which is exactly what happened.
In defense of LeBron, he was fine up to a point. Yeah, he probably shouldn't have done the slow, repetitive, metronome dribble that allowed his defender to time a steal, but maybe he underestimated his opponent (sound familiar, 2011 Finals?).
And yeah, maybe he should have run harder to chase down the fast break, so he could give himself a better chance to block the shot, but maybe he was still underestimating his opponent (hello again, 2011 Finals).
Maybe he shouldn't have done those things, but honestly, that's all more than exusable, and perhaps even expected. He's in a foreign country trying to give some folks a thrill, and dominating their little team all night wouldn't be the most gracious behavior. So he relaxes here and there, and lets them have their fun.
But not TOO much fun.
The most revealing part of this video is not what happens before this dunk, but what happens after it. Not sure if LeBron expected to get dunked on, but after it happened, and the crowd went berzerk, LeBron went into...not sure what to call it...maybe we can have a contest to name it...for now, let's call it "LeBron mode." This is what LeBron does in response to big moments. Oh sure, he put on a 38-point clinic when he made that regular season return to Cleveland and got booed incessantly, but he was playing a LeBron-less Cleveland Cavaliers team, and he had a long time to emotionally prepare himself for that game.
But in big moments, when something happens and you instantly need to react, LeBron shrinks. Take the simple few seconds after the dunk in this video. LeBron goes through the seven deadly sins in one trip down the floor (ok, maybe just five - not sure lust and gluttony were involved):
1.) (:19) Envy - "That little man just dunked on me. The crowd is going wild. I think they may like him better than I do. I wish I was him."
2.) (:22) Greed - "Give me that ball."
3.) (:25) Pride - "Watch me go behind my back, little man."
4.) (:27) Sloth - "Ok, kinda lost control of the ball, so, ah hell, I'll just travel with it and..."
5.) (:29) Wrath - "...toss it out bounds just to show you people I'm not really trying."
It is the reaction that damns LeBron in this video. It smacks of panic, an inability to process and handle the moment, and ego over logic (there you are again, 2011 Finals. Hi, how you been?).
And finally, to show that he is definitely, officially not trying, LeBron gives up an uncontested three after the turnover. So, even the Taiwanese version of LeBron quits when the going gets tough. Was the player shooting that three named Dirk?
P.S.: Notice how they put all the teeny, tiniest guys on LeBron's team to try to even things out. Don't the Taiwanese know that LeBron doesn't want to have to shoulder the load for the team? Where's D Wade?
The man behind the curtain of The Greatest Show on Hardwood stepped out to discuss his team’s first season together, the one that began with an extravagant celebration and ended with bitter disappointment. Heat president Pat Riley addressed everything from his coaching future, or lack thereof, to the improvements LeBron James needs to make to help his game evolve. To start from the beginning, though, Riley said he would have done away with the concert-style celebration for the signings of James and Chris Bosh and the re-signing of Dwyane Wade last July. Riley, who rarely addressed the media throughout the season that ended with a six-game Finals loss to the Dallas Mavericks, said the team already had plans to celebrate with Heat fans after learning that Bosh and James were coming to Miami. “Can you imagine when LeBron said, ‘I’m coming?’ ” Riley said. “So, did we make mistakes along the way? Yes, probably. It probably put more pressure on them. Would they have liked to take back some of the words over the course of the season? Yes, but we can’t. We don’t have any regrets over it.
I don't even have much to say about this one. The Mavs played like a real team and the cHeat played like a bunch of pickup ballers who handpicked their squad to steamroll everybody and couldn't understand why they weren't.
That's the way it was all series.
I wonder how Miami fans feel about LeBron James right now. He checked out last night. Totally checked out. Anybody who watched the game knows it's true. The reality is, he seemed to check out a couple games ago, about the time things stopped going his team's way.
James was all celebration and swagger during the early rounds. The cHeat beat up on a flawed Celtics team and a Bulls team that still has some growing up to do...and nobody was more in-our-faces about it than LeBron. Dancing and air-punching and screaming after big plays. The closer Miami got to clinching a series, the better he got. He was at his absolute best when his team was on top.
When they stopped being on top...he faded slowly into the backdrop.
This is why I bristle every time LeBron starts getting compared to Michael Jordan. It happened again when the cHeat eliminated the Bulls. I couldn't believe it. I really thought that, at the very least, people should have waited until he owned the Finals and finally won a championship. His stats and abilities are so amazing that people want to crown him King before he's ready for the throne.
He's not. That much is obvious. Last night's game was ugly. He was passive. He played scared. He avoided contact and passed the ball like a hot potato.
This isn't meant to be a dogpile on LeBron. Not exactly. Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade weren't perfect. Bosh had a good offensive game but gave up some key offensive rebounds in the fourth quarter, and Wade shot poorly and was generally ineffective. But although those guys didn't play well, I never got the sense they stopped trying. Especially Wade. Dude looked locked in, even if he spent a little too much time looking to the refs to bail him out.
LeBron, the so-called best basketball player in the world and possibly the greatest physical specimen the league has ever seen, played like a roleplayer.
That cost Miami a championship. Or at least a Game 7.
And King Crab, as has been the case ever since The Decision, simply couldn't go down with class and dignity.
Said LeBron: "At the end of the day, all the people that was rooting on me to fail, at the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today. They have the same personal problems they had today. I'm going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want to do with me and my family and be happy with that. They can get a few days or a few months or whatever the case may be on being happy about not only myself, but the Miami Heat not accomplishing their goal, but they have to get back to the real world at some point."
That lone statement speaks volumes about who and what LeBron is at this point in his life. Things didn't go his way in Cleveland and so he fled to Miami. Now there's nowhere to run and he wants us lesser mortals to remember he lives a better life than we do. Totally douchebaggery.
But you know what's great about sports? There's always a chance for redemption. Just as Dirk Nowtizki. Over the course of this year's playoffs, and especially in the Finals, Dirk destroyed all conventional thinking about his toughness and ability to come through when it matters. Words like "soft" and "choker" can't be used on him any more. He's a champion and a Finals MVP. One of the all-time greats.
The same thing can happen for LeBron. The story isn't over. But he has a lot of work to do -- both in terms of his game and his mindset. He could stand a large dose of humility for starters.
So, on behalf of myself, AnacondaHL, chris and Dan B., I want to thank everybody for another fun season of bawful. Tomorrow begins our summer reading program. Until then, enjoy all the press about LeBron's failures.
Chris's Slightly Belated, But Still Elated, Ewok Cheer Lacktion Report:
Mavs-El (Oh El) Heat: Juwan Howard finished his Finals career the way just about everyone expected...bricking thricely (including twice from the charity stripe!) and losing the rock once in 6:58 for a +4 suck differential and a non-celebratory 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl!!!!
I wonder if Scottie Pippen is starting to have second thoughts...
The mockery of Dwyane Wade and LeBron James: They...they wouldn't make fun of Dirk being sick during Game 4 right before Game 5 would they? Or at the very least not on camera.
Okay. Never mind, then.
The Miami cHeat: They shot the ball exceptionally well (52.9 percent), hit 40 percent of their threes (8-for-20), knocked down most of their free throws (21-for-26) and got a huge boost off the bench from a red-hot Mario Chalmers (15 points in 23 minutes on 4-for-6 from downtown and 3-for-3 from the line). And, once again, they had the lead with under five minutes to go in the fourth quarter.
And, once again, they lost. The Mavs closed the game on a 17-4 run.
There were circumstances. D-Wade injured his hip running into the brick wall known as Brian Cardinal. And the Mavericks were just on fire: 56.5 percent from the field and an absolutely blistering 68.4 percent from beyond the arc. Dallas banged home 13 three-pointers. Several of them were wide open, but a handful of them were bad shots, Jason Terry's trey with 33 seconds left seemed to go in by divine providence.
Teams can win games based on disproportionately hot long-distance shooting. It's happened all season. Heck, Miami did it during these playoffs against the Celtics and Bulls. And the Mavs did it last night.
That wasn't the whole story, though. The cHeat were handling the rock like it was coated in creamy butter. They committed 18 turnovers for 21 points going the other way. The Nazgul combined for 12 of those 18 miscues.
Speaking of the Terrible Trio, they did some statistical damage. LeBron had a triple-double (17 points, 10 rebounds, 10 assists), Wade scored 23 points and went 10-for-12 from the line. And the Boshtrich finished with a double-double (19 points, 10 boards). And yet those three guys finished with plus-minus scores of -11, 13 and -13, respectively. They all committed damaging fourth quarter turnovers, and Wade and Bosh both missed foul shots in the final 12 minutes.
And then there was...
LeBron James: Basketbawful reader dwade posted the following comment:
I asked Lebron for change for a dollar. He gave me 75 cents and said, "Sorry, I don't have a 4th quarter."
Heading into last night's game, James posted "Now or Never!!" on his Twitter page. When asked about that Tweet, LeBron said: "It was a personal message to myself. That's just how I was feeling at that time, honestly. It was just a personal message to myself and had nothing to do with anyone else besides myself. I was just in a zone at that point … this is a big game, probably the biggest game of my life, well, not probably, it is. And I'm approaching it that way."
Really?
Look, it's not like LeBron didn't play well. He had a triple-double in an NBA Finals game. He made several smart basketball plays. But he didn't take over. Didn't transcend. Didn't prove what everybody loves to say about him: That he's the best basketball player in the world with a chance to be the greatest ever.
I mean...two fourth quarter points? Two?! And they came with 29 seconds left in a three score game on a layup the Mavs basically conceded. He wasn't just outscored down the stretch by Nowitzki (8 points in the fourth) and Jason Terry (also 8 points). He was outscored by J.J. Barea (6 points in the fourth).
Overall, he scored 17 points but needed 46 minutes to do it. The average NBA player this season, per 46 minutes, scored 18.9 points.
He shot 8-of-19 without a single 3-pointer. That's not good for anybody, let alone a player of this talent.
He had two free throw attempts. TWO. This continued a series-long trend of James being either unable or unwilling to attack the rim -- he has only 16 free throw attempts for the series.
He has 11 fourth-quarter points in five games, despite playing every minute of every fourth quarter. Eleven points in 60 minutes. That’s a wee bit south of superstar territory. Actually, it's a wee bit south of Juwan Howard territory -- he averaged 14 points per 60 minutes this season. Every Miami player except Joel Anthony scored at a higher rate.
Again, this isn't just any random guy. This is a two-time MVP who was the most coveted free agent in NBA history. This is one of the best players of all time, regardless of what happens in the next few days. This is the reason the Heat had a championship parade last July ... because when they got LeBron, they got the promise of dominating games like this one.
Or so they thought.
Boy, I bet Gregg Doyal is feeling pretty smug right about now. And...yep. He sure is.
LeBron James has now scored just 2 points combined in the 4th quarter of the last 2 games. He is Miami's 5TH leading scorer over that span, despite playing all 24 minutes... He does however have 5 of the team's 10 assists...
From Elias: LeBron James is averaging 2.2 PPG during the 4th quarter of the NBA Finals. That is the fourth-lowest by a former MVP in any NBA Finals series over the last 25 seasons. The difference between James and the other guys on this list? His most recent MVP award came just one season ago whereas the others were well past their MVP-winning seasons.
Needless to say, LeBron James' scoring has been non-existent in the 4th quarter of this series... James is averaging just 2.2 PPG in the 4th quarter of these finals after averaging 8.2 in the Eastern Conference Finals over the Bulls. LeBron has yet to score more than five points in the 4th quarter of any game in the NBA Finals and has scored 2 or fewer points each of the last four games.
Mike Bibby and Joel Anthony: Turrible. Just turrible.
Shawn Marion's masturbatory celebratory gesture: Basketbawful reader Ash posted this animated gif of Shawn Marion air jerking. Speaking of animated gifs, Apocalypse34 posted this one of official Bill Kennedy apparently doing the Time Warp.
Anyway, here's some (admittedly bad) video of Marion's air wank:
Can you imagine the outrage if LeBron had done that? Speaking of which, TrueHoop's Henry Abbott makes a fair point about the Mavs' celebration late in last night's game versus the cHeat's back in Game 2. Let's face it: Everything the cHeat do is so much more hateable.
Tyson Chandler, quote machine: On a late (and slightly iffy) charge he drew on LeBron: "I felt like it was a charge. I [had] seen him drive baseline a couple of times in the course of this game and actually in a couple of games now. I’ve been thinking, 'You know if I could get there and set and make him think I’m going to jump I can get a charge.' [It] just so happened to be at a key time."
Jason Terry, quote machine: "We are getting the same looks we knew we would get. After Games 1 and 2, you watch it on film, you see it and then you realize where you're going to have the opportunities. I said to myself, I said to my teammates, 'We're not going to continue to miss those open shots that we're getting.' And so, again, being confident, preparing, getting extra shots in, in those spots is what allow you to go out in the game. And when you get those opportunities, knock them down."
Erik Spoelstra, quote machine: "They made their shots. This is a shot-making team. We were aware of that before we came into the series. They can really extend your defense and you have to be active and athletic, all of these things."
Jason Kidd, quote machine: "You're never too young or too old to always improve your game. At 38, I've always felt that I had to improve my shooting if I want to be on the floor and help my teammates out. As I've gotten older, it's just about timing and not so much scoring 20 points or having 15 assists or 10 rebounds. It's just being at the right place at the right time."
DeShawn Stevenson: On Brian Cardinal's surprisingly effective 10 minutes: "Brian hit a big 3, took a key charge and tried to take a charge on Dwyane and [Wade] hurt his hip. We have guys that have been in the league for a long time and are ready. It says a lot about our team with Brian coming in there having not played a lot of minutes in the playoffs and he's in the Finals giving his all. We just have guys in here that are very confident. We're a family."
LeBron James, quote machine: "I could have made a couple of more plays for my team. But at the end of the day, all it's about is a win or a loss. Triple-double means absolutely nothing in a loss. So we will be better in Game 6 on Sunday."
Dwyane Wade, quote machine: "I don't talk about injuries -- it was unfortunate I had to leave the game, but I came back and finished. Once you're on the court, you're on the court. I don't have no excuses. I'm smart enough to play the game without obviously being 100 percent. That's all I did when I came back. I'll be fine Sunday,” Wade said. “The good thing about life, good thing about this game, we get another opportunity, another crack at it. We'll do whatever it takes to win [Game 6]. We're confident."
Chris Bosh, quote machine: "We fought hard all season for home-court advantage. We're down 3-2. We protect home court, we win the series, so we just have to keep that in mind."
Chris' NBA Finals Lacktion Ledger: Joel Anthony went 100% from the field (on one attempt) in 16:12 as starting center, but fouled thricely for a 3:2 Voskuhl.
The Miami cHeat: In the BAD comments, AnacondaHL said: "Tomorrow's post could just be an in-depth play-by-play of the last 5 minutes." We'll start with a basic play-by-play of Miami's offensive possessions over the final six minutes and 50 seconds:
6:50: Chris Bosh missed 18-footer 6:05: Bosh missed 18-footer 5:15: Bosh turnover 4:48: Dwyane Wade turnover 4:18: Mike Miller turnover 3:33: Miller missed three-pointer 2:59: Wade missed three-pointer 2:25: LeBron James missed 17-footer 2:25: Miller offensive rebound 2:17: Miller missed layup 2:16: Wade loose ball foul 1:53: Bosh 2-for-2 from the line 1:09: Haslem misses jumper 0:30: Wade 1-for-2 from the line (missed tying free throw) 0:09: Wade dunk 0:01: Miller airballed desperation three-pointer
To sum up: missed jumper, missed jumper, turnover, turnover, turnover, missed jumper, missed jumper, missed jumper, missed layup, two made free throws, missed jumper, one made free throw, dunk, missed jumper.
Remember: Miami's offense feature two of the top five players on the planet. And another All-Star to boot.
LeBron James: Remember how Jason Terry's trash talk was supposed to "fuel the Heat's fire"? And how, when Terry questioned whether LeBron could consistently shut him down in the fourth quarter over seven games, Bosh said:
"You have to let sleeping dogs lie sometimes. It's motivation. For us, it is an opportunity to not let up. Guys are talking and it fuels you.
"If he wants LeBron to turn it up then that's great motivation for LeBron," Bosh said. "Guys remember that when we're out on the floor. LeBron is going to remember that late in the game when it is close and Terry is going to try to get going. LeBron is going to guard him and we'll see who comes out on top."
One of the big storylines heading into Game 4 was the comments made by Jason Terry and how LeBron James would guard him in the fourth quarter. Terry backed up his talk and nearly outscored the Heat's Big Three by himself down the stretch. Terry had eight points in the final quarter and didn't turn the ball over while Wade, James and Bosh combined for nine points and five turnovers.
LeBron had eight points and it was the first time in his 90 career playoff games that he was held to single-digit points. His teams are now 0-7 when he scores 15 points or fewer in a postseason game. James attempted just one shot in the fourth quarter and failed to score despite playing all 12 minutes. This is just the second time he's failed to score in the final period of any playoff game.
Dirk's dominating performance and LeBron's disappearing act in the fourth quarter this game continues a trend from the entire series. Nowitzki has now outscored James 44-9 in the final period while making as many field goals as James has attempted while making six times as many free throws.
LeBron's final line: 46 minutes, 3-for-11, 8 points, 9 rebouns, 7 assists, 2 steals, 4 turnovers, 4 fouls, -6. And, of course, that big old goose egg in the fourth quarter.
Said Bosh: "He struggled. Point blank, period."
Continued LeBron: "I've got to do a better job of being more assertive offensively. I'm confident in my ability. It's just about going out there and knocking them down."
Added cHeat coach Erik Spoelstra: "We'll have to look at the film. Obviously we would like to get him involved. He's a very important piece to what we do. So we'll work to help make it easier for him next game."
Wait, what? Miami's coaching staff needs to look at the film to get LeBron James more involved in the team's offense?
Anyway, back to...
The Miami cHeat: I highlighted the final 6:50, but check out Miami's fourth quarter totals: 14 points on 5-for-15 shooting (33 percente) with 6 turnovers. LeBron went scoreless. Bosh went 8-for-12 in the first half but only 1-for-7 over the final 24 minutes, and he clanked consecutive jump shots down the stretch. Wade missed a freebie that would have tied the game with half a minute to go.
Then, after Terry knocked down two free throws with 6.7 seconds left to put Dallas up 86-83, Spoelstra called a 20-second timeout to get possession in the frontcourt. Miller inbounded to D-Wade, but Wade (who was curling around a screen) took his eyes off the ball and it bobbled off his hands. Pookie barely managed to recover the ball and fling it to Miller for what may have been the crappiest and most hopeless last second shot attempt I've ever seen in a Finals game: A 30-footer over Tyson Chandler while falling out of bounds.
Said Wade: "I saw an opening. Mike threw the ball and I was trying to get to the opening, probably before I caught it. That's how I lost it. Obviously I would love to have that play back. We would love to have a lot of plays back."
Another fourth quarter collapse. And this is a trend, folks.
Let's take a look at the final six minutes from each of the four games played so far. That will give us a 24-minute "half" of basketball we can use for a crunch time comparison.
FINAL 6 MINUTE "SCORES" IN EACH GAME: Game One: Miami 17, Dallas 15 Game Two: Dallas 20, Miami 5 Game Three: Dallas 12, Miami 7 Game Four: Dallas 11, Miami 7
Total: Dallas 58, Miami 36
How's that for a "halftime score?!" Let that register for a minute. Dallas is up 22 points IN CRUNCH TIME, putting points on the board consistently against a defense that now, suddenly, isn't looking so scary. And, Miami should be pretty humiliated that they just popped 5, 7, and 7 points in the final six minutes of the last three games. It took a huge first game just to get them to 36! Dallas is up 43-19 in the final six minutes of action during the last three games.
Some people are citing fatigue, which sounds reasonable considering the Nazgul keep logging 40+ minutes a game. But then how do you explain Dirk's 44 fourth quarter points over four games? Nowitzki's logging epic minutes, too, and he scored 10 points down the stretch last night despite a sinus infection and a reported fever of 101 degrees.
By the way, during these Finals, Dallas is now +30 when Dirk is on the floor and -35 when he's not. With all due respect to Henry Abbott and Rick Reilly, in my humble opinion, the MVP of the playoffs so far is seven feet tall and blond.
Dwyane Wade: Pookie was Miami's player of the game (32 points, 13-for-20, 6 rebounds) but he bricked three freebies -- including one that would have tied the game -- and blew the final play of the game to hell. As stephanie g pointed out: "LeBron looked like a big armless Rondo out there and Marion is arguably outplaying him for the series, or at least playing him to a draw. All the same, imagine if LeBron missed a critical freethrow and had butter fingers on the inbound pass like Wade did."
Three-point shooting: Clink. Clank. Clunk. Dallas went 4-for-19 from downtown and Miami was 2-for-14. The two starting lineups combined to go 0-for-13. Is fatigue setting in on both sides? Sure looks like it.
Peja Stojakovic: His NBA Finals minutes were stolen by...Brian Cardinal.
Wow.
Brendan Haywood: How poorly did he play in his three-minute stint? His only stat was one foul committed and the Mavs were outscored by 10 points while he was on the floor, prompting Tyson Chandler to jump up and ask Dallas coach Rick Carlisle to be subbed back in.
Said Chandler: "I told Coach, 'You have to get me back out there, I will play 48 (minutes) if I need to.'"
Speaking of Chandler...
Tyson Chandler: We call this an ego-ectomy:
LeBron James, flop machine: Didn't James Harden get crucified for shenanigans like this? Memo to LeBron: You're too good for theatrics like this.
Dirk Nowitzki, quote machine, Part 1: "Just battle it out. This is the finals. You have to go out there and compete and try your best for your team. So that's what I did."
Dirk Nowtizki, quote machine, Part 2: "There's no long term. I'll be alright on Thursday. ... Hopefully I'll get some sleep tonight, take some meds and be ready to go on Thursday."
Tyson Chandler, quote machine: "The average person, you know, has sick days and battling 100-something (fever), it's just tough to get out of bed. This guy is playing against the best athletes in the world."
Chris Bosh, quote machine: "There is not an illness report before the game or anything. I've never been out there and somebody pointed and said, 'He's got a fever!' "
Erik Spoelstra, quote machine: "This series is a jump ball. These guys live for these type of moments. It's about execution and disposition in the fourth quarter, being able to close out. We have a golden opportunity in the next game."
Jason Terry, quote machine: "The aggression was there for me personally. And I like that, that I was on the attack, which I said I would be. But as far as that relating into baskets, it didn't really happen for me."
Brian Cardinal, quote machine, Part 1: From TrueHoop: "It's The King vs. The Custodian! It's an unbelievable player against ... me."
Brian Cardinal, quote machine, Part 2: Also from TrueHoop: "[The Custodian is] a nickname from back in the day. Now I'm just happy if people call me Brian."
Chris' NBA Finals Lacktion Report: Brendan Haywood hobbled his way to a foul in 185 seconds, earning a +1 suck differential and a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl. Fellow Texan Peja Stojakovic had only two seconds of playing time for a celebratory Super Mario!
First, a little business: I will be out of town on vacation the rest of this week, so I won't be writing BAD posts for Games 2 or 3. Thankfully technology will allow me to post comments or tweet so I can share my smart-ass musings if I feel like tapping something out on my phone.
And finally, I hope you appreciate these last few games. It's probably the last NBA action you'll see for over a year.
Worst of the Eastern Conference Finals Press Conference in Pictures:
"I'm going to the NBA Finals? Golly gee willickers!"
"I am the most boring man on the face of the Earth"
"I wonder how much I can get my for my MVP trophy on eBay..."
Game 1 of the 2011 NBA Finals: Mavericks at Heat, ABC, 9pm(Series tied 0-0): Here's a cool but probably meaningless stat from the Elias Sports Bureau: "Dallas has won its last 14 regular-season games against Miami, the 2nd-longest winning streak teams to meet in the NBA Finals. The other 4 teams to enter the Finals with at least a 5-game winning streak against their opponent have gone on to win the title."
Why do I say this stat may be useless? How often do you see a team in the Finals that looks as completely transformed as this year's Heat? Right now they're hotter than Tabasco Family Reserve. But during the regular season, they were at times more dysfunctional than a sitcom family. And of course this stat is also useless because it goes deep back into previous seasons, with different players and coaches. Remember Miami's 2007-2008 team? Dwyane Wade played in only 51 games. Shaq gave them a mere 33 games. Ricky Davis was the only player to play in all 82 games for that team. (For the love of God, Smush Parker was on their roster!) Amazing how much the times change, eh? How did they turn it around so much? I need to think about this one for a few minutes -- if you need me, I'll be in the Chamber of Understanding
Okay, I figured it out: Dwyane Wade is really good at basketball. So while we talk about LeBron this and LeBron that, don't forget the other guy he's going to have going to the foul line approximately 1,847 times during this series.
Remember when this post made sense? Because it doesn't anymore.
Heel Face Turn (heel fas' turn) noun. When a formerly (and widely recognized) "bad guy" becomes a "good guy."
Usage example:Zach Randolph pulled a heel face turn this season.
Word origin: In Professional Wrestling, an evil wrestler (known as a "heel") sometimes has a change of heart and becomes good, transforming into a "babyface." The term for this is "Heel Face Turn."
The Heel Face Turn, or the concept at least, didn't originate in Professional Wrestling. It's actually a pretty common literary device. One of the most well-known Heel Face Turns occurs when Ebenezer Scrooge goes from being an evil old miser to a loving bastion of generosity in Charles Dickens' 1843 novel A Christmas Carol. A similar metamorphosis happened to the Grinch in Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas.
Of course, the Heel Face Turn happens in movies all the time. A classic example was when Arnie's T-800 was sent back in time to save John Connor in Terminator 2. But the best film example -- and maybe the most well-recognized modern example -- was when Darth Vader turned on Emperor Palpatine to save his son in Return of the Jedi.
The Heel Face Turn happens in real life, too. Take the story of Johann Blumenbach, the man who helped popularize the concept of "scientific" racism, known as eugenics. Blumenbach went on to fall in love with a black woman and spent much of the rest of his career trying to undo his mistakes.
In the realm of real life, though, Heel Face Turns happen most often in sports. Take the (relatively recent) story of Brett Favre, who went from a tormenter of the Vikings to a hero that nearly led them to a Super Bowl (and then, of course, blew his hero status to hell by playing like feces the next season).
This happens periodically in the NBA as well. Just this season, Zach Randolph went from heel to babyface right before our eyes. There wasn't a large deviation in his stats, which remained similar to his career numbers, but he seemingly became more interested in contributing to a winning situation than "getting his."
For most of his career, Z-Bo had annoyed and/or astounded his coaches and teammates by displaying a shockingly low basketball IQ. I mean, here was a guy who was unstoppable in the paint, but who would jack up three-pointers in critical situations. Nobody knew quite what to expect from Zach...other than that he would make the worst conceivable decision and the worst possible time.
Until this season. Remember, prior to the 2010-11 campaign, Randolph was widely considered a loafer at best and a head case at worst. In essence, he was seen as a better (and let fat) version of Eddy Curry.
Randolph's Heel Face Turn happened slowly over the course of the season, but his clutch dismantling of the Spurs in the first round of the 2011 Western Conference Playoffs was "The Moment" when his transformation became complete. The change didn't only change the public perception. It seems (unless I'm way off here) to have changed Randolph's perception of himself. Take the Grizzlies' second round series against the Thunder. If you watched it, you know Oklahoma City's anti-Randolph strategy was to play Z-Bo as physically as possible. They grabbed him, held him, sometimes arm-locked him and often delivered "harder than strictly necessary" fouls.
The old Zach, I'm convinced, would have eventually lost his shit and thrown a punch. Or at least flipped somebody off. I mean, we're talking about a guy who once face-punched a teammate in practice. And there were times I think he really wanted to do that to somebody on the Thunder. But when those situations presented themselves, he could be seen visibly calming himself and then patting his defender(s) on the back and saying something like, "Good foul, man."
It wasn't just a career transformation. It was a life transformation.
Other notable Heel Face Turns include:
Wilt Chamberlain, who became a hero in the later stages of his career, if only because NBA fans had become threatened by the emergence (and political/religious leanings of) Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
Kareem also did a Heel Face Turn during the second half of his stint with the Lakers. He went from being a cold, angry black man who aroused fear and resentment to a wise elder statesman and a winner. (It helped that he was paired with the irresistibly charismatic Magic Johnson. In point of fact, Magic's demeanor may have done more to change perception about Kareem than anything Abdul-Jabbar did himself.)
Dennis Rodman experienced a lesser version of the Heel Face Turn when he -- a former Bad Boy Piston and certified villain in Chicago -- joined forces with Michael Jordan on the Chicago Bulls.
Shaq, who for years had been seen as a fearsome (and, at times, spiteful) goliath who used his mammoth strength (and uncalled offensive fouls) rather than skill to power his way to the basket, became a sympathetic figure when the Lakers seemingly took sides in the big man's feud with teammate Kobe Bryant, shipping O'Neal to the Miami Heat and rebuilding around Bryant despite the fact that Shaq had been the foundation of their three most recent NBA titles.
Kobe himself went from a near pariah -- thanks largely to accusations of rape, allegations that he threw Shaq under the bus during those rape accusations by telling police that O'Neal paid his lovers off to ensure their silence, for allegedly demanding the Lakers ship Shaq out of town, and, of course, his on court selfishness -- to redeemed MVP and "The Man" on back-to-back championship teams. However, this wasn't a true Heel Face Turn, given that a very large segment of the NBA fandom still despises Bryant.
The flip side to the Heel Face Turn is the Face Heel Turn, in which a good guy becomes a bad guy. Real life Face Heel Turn examples include Marcus Brutus and Benedict Arnold. Or, using a previous example, Brett Favre. After all, Favre became a Heel in the eyes of Green Bay fans (and many other NFL fans as well) when he retired from the Packers, unretired, joined the Jets, re-retired, unretired again, joined the Vikings, re-re-retired, unretired yet again, rejoined the Vikings, re-re-re-retired, etc.
In the NBA, LeBron James did what may be the biggest Face Heel Turn in the history of sports Face Heel Turns. After years of leading his "hometown" Cavaliers -- and, in fact, promising not to stop until he led Cleveland to a championship -- he spurned the city and team that loved him with manic desperation to join Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh in Miami. As we all know, it wasn't so much that he did it as how he did it, in a public TV spectacle that was aired on ESPN to feed his titanic ego...as if he could possibly have needed any ego-stroking. This, of course, came on the heels of several years worth of rabid speculation that has turned Cavs fansa and management into a bunch of paranoid basket cases.
And here's a funtastic extra: In this thread at TheW.com, TheOldMan transcribes Hogan's words from the bash, as if it was what LeBron really said during The Decision. In this case, Dwayne Wade would be Scott Hall and Chris Bosh would be Kevin Nash.
Michael Wilbon: LeBron James, excuse me. Excuse me. What in the world are you thinking?
LeBron James: Wilbon, the first thing you gotta do is to tell these people to shut up if they want to hear what I've gotta say.
Michael Wilbon: I have been covering you for so many years...for you to join up with the likes of these two men absoulutely makes me SICK to my stomach! And I think that these people here and this circus? The whole basketball world have had just about enough of this man and this man and you want to put yourself in this group? You've gotta be...kidding me!
LeBron James: Well the first thing you've gotta realize brother -- is that this right here is the future of basketball. You can call this the New World Order of basketball, brother. These two men were tired of losing and everybody was wondering about who the third man was. Well, who knows more about losing in the playoffs than me, brother?
Michael Wilbon: I've covered lots of great athletes and seen how built their legacy with their original team. You have made the wrong decision in my opinion.
LeBron James: Well let me tell you something, I made the Cleveland Cavaliers, brother! I made the people rich up there. I made the people that ran that organization rich up there. And when it all came to pass, the name LeBron James, the man LeBron James got bigger than the entire organization, brother! And then James Dolan amigo, he wanted to talk turkey with LeBron James. Well, James Dolan promised me endorsements brother. James Dolan promised me a trillion dollars. And James Dolan promised me world-class teammates. Amar'e Stoudemire??? So as far as James Dolan, Dan Gilbert and the rest of the NBA goes, I'm bored brother. That's why I want these two guys here, these so called All-Stars, these are the men I want as my friends. They are the new blood of professional basketball and not only are we going to take over the whole NBA, with LeBron James, the new blood and these monsters with me. We will destroy everything in our path Wilbon.
Michael Wilbon: [referring to the garbage being thrown in their direction] Look at all of this crap at your feet! This is what's in the future for you if you want to hang around the likes of this man Wade, and this man Bosh.
LeBron James: As far as I'm concerned, all of this crap represents the fans out there. For seven years brother! For seven years, I held my head high. I did everything for the charities. I did everything for the kids. And the reception I got when I announced my decision? You Cavalier fans can stick it, brother! Because if it wasn't for LeBron James, you people wouldn't be here. If it wasn't for LeBron James, Mike Brown would be selling meat from a truck in Indianapolis. And if it wasn't for LeBron James, all of these "Johnny come-lately bandwagon fans" that you see out here - basketball wouldn't exist in Cleveland! I was selling the world out brother as an 18-year old while they were waiting tables to get through college. So the way it is now brother, with LeBron James and the New World Order of basketball brother, me and the new blood by my side. Whatcha gonna do when the New World Order runs wild on you? Whatcha gonna do?
LeBron James: [Grabs Wilbon] What are you gonna do?
Michael Wilbon: Hey, don't touch me! Don't touch me, I'm going to see the lawyers! Stu, Jim, Chris, Dammit let's get back to you!
Stuart Scott: All right. We have seen the end of LeBronamania. For Chris Broussard, for Jim Gray, For Michael Wilbon, I don't know...I'm Stuart Scott. LeBron James, you can go to hell! We're outta here. Straight to hell.
Stuart Scott: Boo-yah!
Usage note: Many times, you'll see Heel Face Turn shortened to simply "Face Turn" and Face Heel Turn" truncated to "Heel Turn." That's how I typically do it, anyway.
Contribute! Can you remember an NBA-related Heel Face Turn or Face Heel Turn I didn't mention? Leave it in the comments. The best submissions will be added to this post.
LeBron James' mom Gloria James was arrested Thursday morning (April 7) after she allegedly slapped a parking valet at the Fontainebleau Hotel in Miami Beach, Florida.
Gloria was “apparently intoxicated” and the victim of her rage is Rockfeller Sorel. The Miami Beach PD released a statement about the incident:
“Mr. Rockfeller Sorel, a hotel valet worker, claimed he was assaulted by Ms. James, who was angered because her car was taking too long to be delivered. Several witnesses supported Mr. Rockfeller’s account of what occurred. Both Ms. James and the driver of the vehicle were initially uncooperative with the investigating officer. Ms. James was apparently intoxicated as she had bloodshot eyes and a strong odor of alcohol on her breath.”
“Ms. James was arrested and taken to the Miami Beach Police Department where she was processed, issued a Promise to Appear and subsequently released.”
Gloria James was charged with simple battery and disorderly intoxication.
Rockfeller Sorel is now discussing with his lawyer about the case and definitely, he is seeing a big dollar sign in the forehead of Gloria James (courtesy of her son Lebron)!
In 2006, James was arrested in Ohio for drunken driving and disorderly conduct.
We are now seeing where Lebron's ego came from....
The Washington Wizards Generals: The Generals opened the night 0-18 on the road. But hey, they were playing the Timberwolves, right? Even the Associated Press described Minnesota's Target Center as "the arena where losing streaks come to die." What's more, the T-Wolves had lost five in a row and Michael Beasley, Minny's biggest scoring threat, was out with a sprained ankle.
That had to mean "Winning Time" for Washington...didn't it?
Nah. After all, Beasley's absence was evened out by the fact that Andray Blatche missed the game with a sprained right shoulder. On top of that, the Generals got too much love. Too much Kevin Love, that is. Love finished with 35 points and 11 rebounds while going 13-for-18 from the field and 5-for-6 from three-point range.
Speaking of Love, the dude leads the league in rebounding and just cracked the Top 10 in Three-Point Percentage. And he's a double-double machine. According to ESPN Stats and Information, this was Kevin's 26th straight double-double. What's more, he's only the fifth player over the last 25 seasons to have a double-double in at least 26 straight games.
The funny thing is, a lot of commenters on this site have been getting really excited about Blake Griffin's double-doubles while kind of scoffing at Love's. I'm sure that has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that Blake is making highlight reels while Kevin looks like he should be making moonshine in the backwoods of Kentucky.
Anyway, Washington actually had a four-point lead with just under six minutes to play...then got outscored 19-3 the rest of the way to lose 109-97. Love scored eight of those 19 points, including a couple ball-busting triples.
Said Generals coach Flip Saunders: "We expected Love to be a handful. We thought he had a chance to beat us. He basically beat us from the 3-point line."
Added Al Thornton: "This is a team we should beat. We just didn't close it out."
There you have it. When a team is 0-19 on the road, they should never, ever have the "this is a team we should beat" attitude. As Yoda would say...that is why you fail.
Said John Wall: "It's embarrassing. that we're the only team left that hasn't won on the road."
Bonus stat: Washington gave up 24 points off 18 turnovers.
Darko Milicic: His double-double (14 points and 11 boards) doesn't change the fact that he scored two points for the other team. A tip 'o the hat to Basketbawful winnetou for the video link.
Kurt Rambis, coach of the year candidate: "It seems like those games, that we've had where everyone's contributed and had a pretty decent game scoring wise, we seem to win the ballgame."
First, Kevin Pelton of Basketball Prospectus described how amazing Orlando's offense has been since their blockbuster trade. Then ESPN's Tom Haberstroh proclaimed that this year's Magic squad is significantly better than the team that made it to the NBA Finals in 2009.
And just like that, Orlando immediately lost back-to-back games. On Wednesday night, their otherworldly offense utterly failed them in a 92-89 overtime loss to the Hornets. That's right: The Magic couldn't even break 90 points in a 53-minute game.
Last night, Orlando bounced back by scoring 124 points as Dwight Howard went all "God Mode" on the Thunder: 39 points, 18 rebounds, 11-for-19 from the field and 17-for-20 at the free throw line. You read that correctly. I said 17-for-20 at the charity stripe. As Basketbawful reader The Other Chris put it: "Dwight Howard went 17-20 from the line, what the f**k? Mommy I'm scared, is the apocalypse imminent?"
Unfortunately, the Magic's defense -- currently ranked 4th in Defensive Rating -- took the night off to watch Chuck reruns. To wit: The Thunder finished with 125 points on 56.4 percent shooting. Oklahoma City also went 7-for-14 from downtown and earned 37 free throw attempts.
And if you want to talk advanced stats, the Thunder established crazy high marks in Effective Field Goal Percentage (60.9), Offensive Rebound Percentage (34.4), Free Throws Per Field Goal Attempt (38.5) and Offensive Rating (137.4).
Compare those numbers to the league averages of 49.7, 26.2, 23.4 and 106.6. Now compare those to what the Magic's defense usually holds opponents to: 48.2, 22.3, 22.2, and 102.0.
Said Orlando coach Stan Van Gundy: "We just couldn't stop them at all, but particularly Durant and Westbrook. They're great players, they average 50 between them, but we gave them 68. Last night, it was our offense was awful and tonight we couldn't stop them at all. Obviously, our defense was bad, but we're just playing out of a hole every night. I don't like that trend. Whether we have to make changes in that lineup or something, but those guys -- we're just always in a hole now and that's not good."
Speaking of trends, did anybody take a close look at that nine-game winning streak that had Pelton and Haberstroh (and lots of other people) drooling in admiration? It started with a genuinely impressive homecourt win over the Spurs. It then continued with another home victory over the Celtics on Christmas day when Boston's offense (78 points and an Offensive Rating of 85.7) struggled mightily without Rajon Rondo (although it's worth noting that the Celts led most of the game before getting outscored 29-15 in the fourth quarter).
Then the Magic racked up victories over the Nets (10-28) and Cavaliers (8-30) before holding off the Knicks at home. Then they beat the Warriors (15-23), Bucks (14-22) and Rockets (17-22) in Orlando before downing the Dirk Nowitzki-less Mavericks in Dallas. And you'll note that the Mavs have gone 2-6 during Dirk's eight-game absence.
Look, the winning streak was impressive, and the wins over San Antonio and New York were legit. But the rest of the wins probably need to be put in context. Seven of those nine wins were against sub-.500 ball clubs or significantly weakened teams (Boston and Dallas). And even the wins over the Spurs and Knicks were in Orlando, and we all know how important homecourt advantage is.
So, you know, let's not crown the Magic just yet.
By the way, Basketbawful reader Ilkka sent in this image after the Magic lost to the Hornets. Mmm...Magic Steak...
There's a belief among some in the NBA that the Skirvin Hilton, where the Magic stayed, is haunted. "What haunts me are guys like Kevin Durant," Van Gundy said. "So, I would say this building is haunted because of guys like him, as are most of the buildings in the NBA. I haven't run into a haunted hotel, just haunted arenas."
The Miami cHeat: With LeBron James sitting out because karma's a bitch due to a sprained left ankle, the cHeat suffered their worst loss of the season, a 130-102 drubbing by the Nuggets. Those are the most points Miami has allowed all season, by the way.
We all saw this loss coming, right? After all, James was out, Bosh and Wade both logged 40 minutes in the previous night's loss to the Clippers, and teams usually curl up in a ball and die when playing in Denver on the second night of back-to-backs. In fact, TNT flashed a stat that said the Nuggets are something like 46-9 in the Pepsi Center when their opponent is playing for the second night in a row.
Here are some numbers. Seven Nuggets scored in double figures. J.R. Smith scored a game-high 28 points and drilled a season-best eight three-pointers. Denver shot 53.3 percent from the field and hit nearly 50 percent of their threes (15-for-31). They outscored the cHeat 14-5 in transition and 50-34 in the paint.
That last number may be the most important. The Nuggets set the tone early on by getting whatever they wanted around the rim. Miami couldn't have made the paint more inviting if they'd filled it with feather pillows and stuffed animals. Once Denver got it going inside, that opened things up for their shooters. And, well, that was that.
Ultimately, I don't think this loss means all that much, given the circumstances. Well, other than (as Wild Yams pointed out) officially protecting the '96 Bulls 72-10 record from the cHeat and proving Jeff Van Gundy probably should have held off on the crazy predictions.
So instead, I'm going to address something that's been causing a little chatter, namely Henry Abbott's "defense" of LeBron James. From TrueHoop:
Say James did something specific that pissed you off. Say he didn't play where you wanted him to play. Say you thought the TV show was too much. Say he shouldn't refer to himself in the third person. Say you're disappointed or hurt. Who can argue any of that?
But that's not where the majority of James rhetoric lives. It goes far beyond that, with the normal position being to imply that you, NBA fan, has the information, the final word, on the totality of the man ... the whole complicated person ... and you know he's bad.
Every single person who has never met LeBron James, but "knows" he's bad ... well, that's somebody coloring way outside the lines. The public profile of this man does not nearly add up to that.
I have a blog with the word "true" in the title, and we live in a moment when the biggest story in the NBA -- the unchecked villainy of LeBron James -- is not true, or is at the very least unproven. So I am going go keep writing about that. Go back and read, though. My radical point is not to that he's tremendous. It's to ask: How do you know he's so bad? What evidence do you have? And if you don't have good evidence, can we just tone it down a little?
I get where Henry's coming from, and it reminds me of what Friedrich Nietzsche said in On Truth and Lies in a Nonmoral Sense (1873):
What does man actually know about himself? Is he, indeed, ever able to perceive himself completely, as if laid out in a lighted display case? Does nature not conceal most things from him - even concerning his own body - in order to confine and lock him within a proud, deceptive consciousness, aloof from the coils of the bowels, the rapid flow of the blood stream, and the intricate quivering of the fibers! She threw away the key.
This was going to lead into another Nietzsche quote. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the one I was thinking about, but (and I'm paraphrasing) it says something to the effect that "since we can't know ourselves completely, we can't possibly know someone else."
So from that standpoint, Abbott is correct. We can't prove LeBron is the NBA version of Dr. Evil. After all, James doesn't hold his pinky to his mouth when he laughs, and he certainly didn't spend five years in Evil Medical School. We don't know him and we'll never know him. If you believe Nietzsche, LeBron's friends and family will never really know him, and LeBron will never fully know himself...no matter how many times he refers to himself in the third person.
And yet, in the final analysis, if Henry is really committed to truth, he should understand that personal truths are and always will be subjective. Hey, according to some accounts, Adolph Hitler was devoutly religious. Moreover, he had a wife, and close friends, and millions of people who believed in him and his causes. It's horrible. But it's true.
In this world, "right" and "wrong" are not concrete, provable things. They are mostly about what you believe in. And, for good or ill, people have the right to decide whether they like or dislike other people based on observation, their internal code of ethics, and their personal biases.
After LeBron made his already-infamous "karma's a bitch" tweet, I said he was an asshole. Now, is his asshole-ness "provable" in the sense Abbott was talking about? Probably not. Last time I checked, science hasn't yet devised a way to quantify how much of an asshole somebody is or isn't. Damn you, science.
But that doesn't mean I don't have the right to observe and consider LeBron's behavior to determine whether he meets my own personal criteria for what an asshole is. And, not that I feel the need to justify my stance, I'm not only referring to the tweeting, the backtracking, or The Decision. Just go through the Basketbawful archives and you'll find years and years of words and actions that illustrate behavior I personally don't care for. Talking in the third person. The whole "I wanna be a global icon" thing. Refusing to shake hands in defeat and then justifying it by saying (in essence) that winners don't show sportsmanship. The Crab Dribble. The way his foot always seems to end up in his mouth.
I could go on and on, but, in my opinion, LeBron's behavior -- and I'm talking about what he says and does off the court -- is arrogant and narcissistic. And in the end, opinion is all we ever have to go on when judging the merits of human behavior. I have the right to make up my mind about whether or not I like LeBron the Man. And guess what? It has nothing to do with what I think about LeBron the Basketball Player. It's not like I'm denying his greatness on the court. I'm simply saying that, based on what I've observed over the last eight years or so, LeBron isn't somebody I'd want to be buddies with.
People make these decisions all the time. I bet there's somebody you don't like at work, and that dislike (or "absence of liking" if you will) is probably based only on what you know about them as a co-worker. You don't know what they're like at home or when they're out with their friends. You didn't grow up with them, go to high school with them, or attend college with them. Under those circumstances, they might have become your bestest friend ever. But as things stand...you just don't like 'em.
That's life. We set boundaries and draw lines in the sand all the time. Of course, there must be reasonable limits. Just because we don't like somebody doesn't give us the right to be abusive or violent -- in either words or actions -- toward them. Nor should it mean we refuse other people the right to like the people we don't. Just because I think LeBron James is a douchebag doesn't mean I would deny others the right to love and adore him if that's want they want. It may make me throw up in my own mouth, but I wouldn't blame them for it.
In truth, we'll never know everything that makes a person what they are. Nonetheless, it is each person's right to choose whether they like or dislike someone based on what we do know. And that's the truth.
Chris's Lacktion Report: Cartier Martin discovered the ledger yet again after tossing a brick from the Mary Tyler Moore statue for a +1 in 1:51. Minnesota's Nikola Pekovic provided two boards and a field goal in 10:06, only to foul and lose the rock thricely each for a 6:4 Voskuhl.
The Weather: After cheating all but about a thousand Charlotte area residents out of a gripping blowout of the Grizzlies, the weather robbed everybody in Atlanta of a thrilling matchup between two of the league's slowest teams (the Hawks and Bucks rank 25th and 24th in Pace, respectively). Until March 15th anyway. And did I mention Milwaukee is ranked 29th in Offensive Rating and dead last in PPG. How could you do this, weather? How could you?
The Philadelphia 76ers: Speaking of the weather, it limited the crowd of the Pacers-Sixers game in Philly to about 5,000 due to a pending snowstorm. Bummer, huh?
It was just as well, since the home team let Indy score 111 points on 51 percent shooting and end a nine-game road losing streak.
Homecourt fail.
By the way, I'm giving Andre Iguodala Worst Player of the Night dishonors for his triumphant return of one point on 0-for-7 shooting in 33 minutes.
Interestingly enough, the last time the Pacers won a road game was on November 30th against (of course) the Kings. Speaking of which...
The Sacramento Kings: Did you hear the news?! Arco Arena is going to be renamed Power Balance Pavilion. You know, after Power Balance bracelets. Basically, they're rubber bands that "improve" athletic performance, probably by reducing the weight of the athlete's wallet, leading to increased speed and vertical leap.
Power Balance is Performance Technology designed to work with your body's natural energy field. Founded by athletes, Power Balance is a favorite among elite athletes for whom balance, strength and flexibility are important.
How Does the Hologram Work?
Power Balance is based on the idea of optimizing the body's natural energy flow, similar to concepts behind many Eastern philosophies. The hologram in Power Balance is designed to resonate with and respond to the natural energy field of the body.
Don't laugh. These claims may sound outrageous to the point of insanity, but they're real. Ever wonder how the Loch Ness Monster and Sasquatch have remained hidden all these years? Curious how Santa Clause delivers presents to every kid in the world in just a few hours? Have you questioned why the Dark Lord Satan hasn't dragged Kobe Bryant straight back to the pits of Hell from whence he came?
Here's the answer: They're all wearing Power Balance bracelets.
True story.
Anyway, the Kings must have been wearing Power Balance bracelets, because they went out and scored 133 points last night...
...but gave up 136 and lost to the Washington Wizards Generals.
The Minnesota Timberwolves: Wow. I mean, just, wow. Okay, so the Timberwolves had sliced and diced San Antonio's 16-point lead down to only six (68-62). Then, with about eight and a half minutes left in the third quarter, Minnesota native and NBA official Ken Mauer decided he had seen enough of the comeback.
Mauer tagged Darko Milicic and Corey Brewer with technical fouls for gesturing toward him on the same play. Timberwolves coach Kurt Rambis approached Mauer to discuss the techs and received two of his own (and the automatic ejection that came with them). Seconds later, Mauer T'd up Kevin Love because Love threw up his arms and yelled after Tim Duncan raped him on a rebound attempt.
That made a total of five technical fouls and one ejection in 10 seconds. Manu Ginobili drilled all five of the ensuing free throws and suddenly the T-Wolves were down 73-62. They played the Spurs even the rest of the way and lost 107-96.
Love -- who had yet another Animal-Style double-double of 20 points and 20 boards -- said: "I've never seen that before. Five in a row, that had to be a first. That was crazy."
Added Michael Beasley: "I've never seen that. Never. I've seen simultaneous Ts on different teams. But on the same team, that was a first. It's been happening all year. ... I don't like getting five Ts in 30 seconds, but you've got to see where the refs are coming from. If they feel you're out of place, they've been doing it all year."
Even Manu felt a little bad for the Timberwolves.
"I was glad it was us shooting," Ginobili said. "It was kind of awkward. It was strange."
The Phoenix Suns: This is getting uglier by the day. The Suns appeared to be catching the Nuggets at just the right time. Denver was mired in a three-game losing streak and, with Carmelo Anthony trade rumors swirling around, the ship appeared to be going down faster than the Titanic. Sure enough, Phoenix raced out to a 32-20 lead after one quarter...
...then got outscored 82-40 in the second and third quarters.
The Suns shot 36 percent while the Nuggets shot nearly 56 percent. The 44 points Denver scored in the second quarter represented a season high. Carmelo Anthony had a double-double (28 points and 10 boards) and Arron Afflalo made it fucking rain, scoring a career-high 31 points on 11-for-14 shooting. In fact, Afflalo, a shooting guard, outrebounded Suns starting Center Robin Lopez 9-1.
The Nuggets trailed the Suns 32-20 at the end of the first quarter, but rallied to win, 132-98. Denver set an NBA record during the shot-clock era for largest margin of victory for a team that was behind by at least 12 points heading into the second quarter.
By the way, that 34-point margin of defeat was the largest ever suffered by Phoenix against the Nuggets. Historic fail.
Said Steve Nash: "It feels like there's a little lack of cohesion and chemistry. I don't feel like we're getting that performance and effort that we're accustomed to, and that's disappointing. It seems like when we lose the momentum, we just go downhill fast. It's like we stop believing. We're all concerned and disappointed. We've got to keep fighting; that's all we can do. You can't cry about it; you've got to keep fighting."
As for that "lack of cohesion and chemistry" Steve is talking about, Robert Sarver let STAT walk, then overpaid for Channing Frye and Hakim Warrick, then traded for Hedo Turkoglu, then flipped Turkododo and Jason Richardson -- who was probably their best player not named "Nash" -- for Vince Carter, whom the Magic were eager to dump because he's limping his way to the NBA Glue Factory.
There's no cohesion because shit doesn't stick.
The Cleveland Cavaliers: When the Mayans prophesized an apocalyptic, worldwide disaster in the year 2012, maybe they were right. Maybe they just overshot the mark by a year. And maybe that "apocalyptic, worldwide disaster" they predicted was actually the Cleveland Cavaliers. It makes more sense than John Cusack outrunning an earthquake, right?
Anyway, I keep thinking things can't possibly get any worse for Cleveland. I just keep thinking it. And I keep being wrong. So very, very wrong.
Heading into last night's game against the Lakers in L.A., the Cavaliers had lost 10 straight and 19 of their last 20 games. They were already an NBA-worst 8-29. On top of that, they were without starting center Anderson Varejao, who tore a tendon in his right ankle while running at practice, Joey Graham (right quad strain), Daniel Gibson (left ankle sprain), Leon Powe (right torn meniscus) and Anthony Parker (lower back strain).
And the Lakers beat them. And beat them. And beat them some more. The Cavs scoring, by quarter, went: 12, 13, 16 and 16. They finished with 57 points. And lost by 55.
Said Kobe Bryant: "You don't ever imagine something like that."
Somebody call 911 for the Cavaliers. Actually, forget it. It's too late for that. The box score reads like an autopsy report. None of Cleveland's starters scored in double figures. In fact, that unit combined to shoot 8-for-37. Some cat named Samardo Samuels came off their bench and went 1-for-12. It was just a remorseless slaughter. The Lakers pummeled them to death the way that, well, Ivan Drago pummeled Apollo Creed to death.
The Los Angeles Lakers made it look easy against the Cleveland Cavaliers Tuesday night at Staples Center winning 112-57. The 55-point win was the largest margin of victory in the NBA in nearly 13 years. The last time a team won by 55 or more points was on February 27, 1998 when the Indiana Pacers defeated the Portland Trail Blazers 124-59.
Cleveland's 57 points Tuesday was its fewest in franchise history. It was the fewest points the Lakers have allowed in the shot-clock era (since 1954).
The Cavs were 1-14 from 3-point range, committed 19 turnovers and scored just 25 points in the first half. Prior to Tuesday, Cleveland was 8-3 in its last 11 games against the Lakers scoring no fewer than 88 points in each game.
Since the advent of the shot clock (lest you think it recent, it's been around since the '54-'55 season), the fewest points allowed by the Lakers was 66. Tonight, they flat dusted that mark. Cleveland scored 12 points in the quarter, then 10 in the second. Coming out of the break, they EXPLODED for 16, and managed to repeat the feat in the fourth. Was it great defense? Incompetent offense? Something in the water?
I will say I witnessed quite simply the worst play I've ever seen at the NBA level, when Ryan Hollins, after blocking Kobe Bryant underneath led the Cavs up court, flanked by teammates on each side. He proceeded to more or less hand the ball to Pau Gasol, stationed about three-quarters of the way up to half court. Gasol flipped it to Kobe, who popped the ball off the backboard to Andrew Bynum for a dunk.
Effectively, Hollins turned a five-on-two break into a three-on-oh the other way as James Naismith flopped like a landed trout in his grave.
Said Cavs coach Byron Scott: "I thought that was embarrassing. I told them at halftime, 'You look scared. You look flat-out scared. You're playing against the world champions, and instead of just competing and playing hard, you look scared. You look scared to death.' That was my take on it, as simple as that. We knew it wasn't going to be easy, but to come out and not compete? There's no excuse for that. I'm embarrassed because of the way we performed. I'm a Cleveland Cavalier right now and the way we performed last night, that's embarrassing to me. I had one other team [New Jersey] come in and I thought we looked a little nervous. But that was the NBA Finals. I haven't had another team come in and look that scared."
You think that sounds bad?
Added Antawn Jamison: "It can't be any worse than this. If it is, someone will have to help me because I don't know how much of this I can take. This by far is rock bottom. It's definitely by far one of the most embarrassing moments that I've been a part of as far as basketball."
And this is from a guy who spent a combined 10-plus years playing for the Golden State Warriors and Washington Wizards Generals. Dude was on a 19-win team that started the seaon 6-30. Then he was the leading scorer on a 17-win team that lost 32 of its last 34 games...a stretch that included losing streaks of 8, 11, and 13 games.
So, yeah, Antawn knows what rock bottom is. And this is it.
Update!More angst from Antawn: "Fifty-five points? That's, like, impossible. We're professional athletes. How do you lose by 55 points? I don't care who you're playing against. I mean, if this doesn't hurt...I don't understand how we're able to have conversations in the locker room. There's nothing to talk about. We have to do some soul searching quick because no matter who we play, right now they feel like they can beat us. If we don't have a sense of pride and just play for yourself or something...this might be one of the worst teams to go through a season. The frustrating part about it is I know we're better than this. I don't know. Something has to change."
Update! Mo Williams Tweeted about what happened: "This shit is embarrassing. I feel like I can't even show my face in Cleve."
You know it's bad when you feel like you can't show your face in Cleveland.
LeBron James: He could have left it alone. He could have kept his damn mouth shut for a change. If he was going to enjoy Cleveland's abject and utter misery, he could have done it quietly behind closed doors. But remember: This is a guy who castrated his hometown in an hour-long, ego-stroking infomercial that aired on ESPN. So, if anything, when LeBron James decides to be an asshole, he opts for maximum exposure of his royal sphincter.
And so here's what he Tweeted after the Cavaliers were executed in L.A.:
We thought LeBron couldn't be a bigger asshole after this summer? Epic fail.
That's all he is, by the way. An asshole of biblical proportions. I was listening to Mike and Mike on ESPN Radio this morning, and Mike Greenberg's take was that LeBron is embracing the role of the villain. But Greenberg is wrong. Bill Laimbeer? That dude loved being a villain...and he never pretended otherwise. King Crab, on the other hand, is a villain pretending to be the wronged hero.
Which means, yeah, I respect Laimbeer more than LeBron.
What's more, he's an idiot who obviously doesn't know anything about karma beyond what he's heard in sound bites or read in a fortune cookie. Still, if 'Bron's version of "karma" really is in effect, I expect an anvil to fall out of the sky and land on his fat head any minute.
Update! I probably should have mentioned this already. But 'Melo got all Tweet-happy last night too. Here's what he was e-chirping (H/T Karc):
First they love you, then they hate you..............
Not complaining just a real statement
die a hero or live long enuff to become a villain
Far from letting it get to me. Can't a MF just vent. Damn. Lol
Now AnacondaHL has come through with even more updates:
...followed by him changing his profile picture to literally a bunch of peaches. Wow. Next he'll be trying to tell us about how great Linkin Park speaks to him.And
Who said psychological train wrecks aren't fun to watch?
The Portland Frail Blazers: The Brandon Roy-less Blazers had an offensive meltdown (35 percent from the field and 4-for-18 on threes) and the Knicks beat 'em in Portland. Blah, blah, blah.
Said Blazers coach Nate McMillan: "I thought we looked mentally fatigued. We were just a step slow in everything we did."
Added LeMarcus Aldridge: "We just didn't make shots. I tried to force the issue going to the basket, took some shots that probably couldn't go in, but I didn't want to just take jump shots over and over. It was tough."
Update! Antoine Walker: From Basketbawful reader Little Keith:
Just making sure everyone is aware of Antoine "toine" Walker's performance from The D-League's Showcase tonight:
7 pts (2-13 shooting, 1-6 on 3's) 3 rebs 2 asts 2 blks 4 PFs 10 TOs -13 +/- 34+ minutes of "playing" time
He is injured on his right calf muscle and will possibly need surgery. Out for at least two months.
Meanwhile his team Besiktas is 9th in the 16-team Turkish League.
He played 7 games with 32 mins/game (40 min games). Averaging around 14.3 points, 2.7 rebounds, 4.7 assists, 1.7 steals and 3.3 turnovers with 23/52 44% 2 points - 9 / 21 42% 3 points and 27/37 73% free throws.
Chris's Lacktion Report:
Pacers-Sixers: Andres Nocioni notched a giveaway in 2:48 for a +1.
Purple Paupers-Generals: Hilton Armstrong commandeered a 3:39 stay in the ledger despite an assist, by fouling once for a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.
Spurs-Wolves: Chris Quinn heaved two bricks with all his might for a +2 in 1:31, the same time span it took Tiago Splitter to garner a 1.5 trillion.
Well, now that the LeBron Revenge Game is done and no actual revenge was anywhere to be seen, can we all just please move on with our lives? Cleveland still has a shot at winning another championship, right? Look at the Indians! Oh. Well, how about the Browns? Oh. Well, nevermind.
Tweet of the day, courtesy of DJ Gallo and the good people at SportsPickle:
Getting away from basketball for a minute... (Me? Get off topic? Never!) You know, I still have Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus on my DVR. I suppose I should watch it so I can prepare myself for this: Mega-Shark vs. Crocosaurus, featuring Jaleel White.
"Did I do that?"
Worst of the Night in Pictures:
Okay, who replaced LeBron with a cheaply made action figure?
Even when he wears "normal" suits, Craig Sager still sticks out like a sore thumb
Okay, I'll admit it, the top right sign made me chuckle
Awkwaaaaaaaard...
Nationally Televised Friday Games: Bulls at Celtics, ESPN, 8pm: So the Bulls finally get Carlos Boozer healthy, and promptly lose. Bench him!!! Bench him!!!!
Mavericks at Jazz, 10:30pm: Did you know both teams are riding 7 game winning streaks? Of course you didn't. LeBron doesn't play for either team, so who cares???
(Yes, those last couples items I wrote were meant to be sarcastic, just in case I didn't make it clear enough. It's hard to tell sometimes with the NBA being as ridiculous as it is...)
All The Other Friday Games: Frail Blazers at Wizards Generals, 7pm: I'm almost scared to preview this game. Both teams have been so riddled with injuries lately that I'm afraid I'll snap a tendon or two just by being associated with them in any way, shape, or form.
Thunder at Craptors, 7pm: The Other Chris chimed in with this fantastic news in the WOTN comments:
Another Bawful field trip tonight, a friend invited me to the game. This is more along the lines of watch a good team (Thunder) destroy a bad team (Mighty Dinos!).
Should have a prop bet about which Raptor(s) Westbrook will dunk on. Probably all of them. Simultaneously. Good thing I'll be drinking heavily.
Good thing, indeed.
Nyets at Bobcraps, 7pm: Ah, the game where entertaining basketball goes to die.
76ers at Hawks, 7:30pm: It's a battle of Eastern conference powerhouses! Or the exact opposite of that.
Magic at Pistons, 7:30pm: Accuscore gives the Pistons a 38% chance of winning this game. That good a chance? Wow.
Knicks at Hornets, 8pm: Fantastic opening to the STATS LLC game preview that provides some good perspective: "The last time the New York Knicks won six straight road games, first-year New Orleans coach Monty Williams was a rookie playing for New York. The Knicks will try to accomplish that feat Friday night when they try to hand Williams' Hornets a rare home loss."
Rockets at Grizzlies, 8pm: The good news this year for the Rockets is that they win when Shane Battier puts up points. The Rockets are 4-2 when Battier drops a dozen or more points, but they're a whopping 2-10 in other games. The bad news? Battier has averaged just over 8 ppg against the Grizzlies, the team that originally drafted him.
Timberwolves at Spurs, 8:30pm: The last time we saw the Spurs in action, they got humbled by the Clippers. The friggin' Clippers! I can pretty much guarantee you that San Antonio will NOT come into this game as unprepared and lethargic.
Clippers at Nuggets, 9pm: Hey, speaking of the Clippers, it's time for them to return to being who we thought they were.
Pacers at Suns, 9pm: The last time the Pacers traveled to Phoenix back in March last season, the game had two fights and eight technical fouls. Since when did the intensity for some damn Pacers game reach the level of a San Antonio/Phoenix playoff game?
Kings at Lakers, 10:3pm: If there is any game that the Lakers can use to stop their losing streak, it has to be this one, right? Then again, Pau Gasol is sitting out this game to rest his left hamstring...
* * *
Nationally Televised Saturday Games: Magic at Bucks, NBA TV, 8:30pm: You know that NBA on ESPN commercial where they have to stop the RV because Bango the Bucks mascot runs across the road? They're going to have to reshoot that and have Bango get run over if the Bucks keep losing.
All The Other Saturday Games: Hawks at Heat, 7:30pm: And back to reality for LeBron and Co.
Bobcraps at 76ers, 7:30pm: This game is such a waste of time, you'd be better off watching this.
(I seriously have no idea what the hell this is. I saw it randomly linked on Twitter and have been mesmerized by it)
Rockets at Bulls, 8pm: All right! I can't wait to watch Hakeem and MJ battle! Oh, wait...
Cavaliers at Timberwolves, 8pm: This game has a lot of potential to be entertainingly close but terribly executed, almost like a college basketball game without the enthusiastic crowds.
Mavericks at Kings, 10pm: Another loss in the Purple Paupers record books. Sigh.
* * *
Nationally Televised Sunday Games: Hornets at Spurs, NBA TV, 7pm: Well, we wanted a true test of how good these teams are. This is as good a chance as any.
All The Other Sunday Games: Celtics at Nyets, 1pm: Will Boston remember to take the Nyets seriously this time? After last year's debacle, I don't trust them.
Knicks at Craptors, 1pm: Crappy crap crap.
Cavaliers at Pistons, 6pm: Unwatchable. Honestly. Who can sit down and watch more than five minutes of this game without losing his mind? Dribble, dribble, dribble, bricked shot, ugly scramble for rebound, dribble, dribble, lazy pass deflected out of bounds. Rinse, repeat.
Warriors at Thunder, 7pm: At least this game will be entertaingly uptempo, even if it's not a good game.
Grizzlies at Nuggets, 8pm: Fun fact: Renaldo Balkman has played a total of 14 minutes over 2 games this year for the Nuggets, and has managed a mind-blowing PER number of -1.1 in the process. Where does that rank on Hollinger's PER scale? That's somehow an even worse PER than an inanimate carbon rod could achieve.
Wizards Generals at Suns, 8pm: Stats that should be surprising to absolutely nobody that reads this blog: the Suns are 1st in points per game, 8th in assists, 29th in rebounds, and 30th in points allowed. Some things just never change.
Clippers at Frail Blazers, 9pm: Pardon the Interruption recently debated the chances of Blake Griffin injuring himself on one of his spectacular dunks. Come on. Why debate? He's a Clipper. The odds are like 8000%.
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